How lame do you really have to be?

The BBQ Pit
#1

No, I really want to know, how lame do you have to prove yourself to be? Cos I can do that. You wanna know what I did this weekend? I stayed home, watched TV, drank wine from a box, and read message boards. Yeah, well, I’m in a bit of a financial jam and the wife wasn’t around to light a fire under my ass so I didn’t have to go to see some shit movie or anything.

Yet never did it cross my mind to start a thread called “What’s the best (and cheapest) way to send chocolate to the desert?”

Here’s an idea: pack your ass with ice, stick a Mars bar up there, and walk.

“Do foreign languages sound louder?”

Gee, no. Next stupid fucking question.

“My cat’s back!”

OH MY FUCKING GOD! PRAISE THE LORD, I WAS HOPING YOU’D SAY THAT, IT WAS MY FAVORITE PIECE OF ASS!!!

Fuck, get real, people. Nobody needs to hear your every thought and most of your bullshit questions can be answered with a simple web search. I don’t aim to single out the hapless fucks who started these threads, they’re just who my eye fell upon.

Not that I’ll be surprised if the people I picked out hold it against me forever. Hey, if you do, I got my own agenda. Beats yours, so far as I can tell.

#2

Smaug is a naughty dragon.

#3

Nyquil?

#4

Dayquil, dude. Dayquil.

#5

The best mixed drink ever: Nyquil + Kahlua.

#6

YES! you know, i just watched the sonic youth and they did their big hit bull in the heather and the girl looked just like my neighbor when i was growing up and then the pixies came on with this monkees going to heaven AND I JUST HAD TO SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT

#7

Lynn is going to love this thread.

#8

Jesus Christ!!!

#9

I thought that was Cherry Nyquil + Bacardi 151

#10

Ironikinit is cranky. I think he needs a nap.

#11

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=215356&highlight=chocolate

no, i didn’t make this up.

I’d say that 30% of the threads are worthless, more could simply be resurrected.

#12

Speaking only for myself, I cannot begin to tell you how wrong you are. This hallowed message board is a look in to the minds and lives of thousands of people scattered across this planet of ours. When someone is sharing their tragedies, triumphs and thoughts, my life is made that richer.

Sure, a lot of what is asked here could be found through the cold and impersonal method of Googling, but what is then lost is the interesting conversations that are sparked by the telling of the tale.

I want to know who has found a lost pet, who is getting married. I want to try to comfort those that have lost loved ones, and hear about who has just purchased their first home. Tell me about the latest movie that you saw, and what you thought of the dumb bastard that was talking on his cell phone during the show!

We are the human race, damn it! And all of these stories and thoughts make my world so much larger than it would be otherwise.

#13

That happened to you too, Ironikinit?

Those bastards came to my house last week, put a gun to my head and made me read threads and forums I had no interest in. Goddamn chipmunk-felching fuckers.

#14

I also think a lot of threads here are pretty goddam useless and pathetic. Hence, I don’t read them.

Which is why I get pissed when peopel make idiotic subject lines.

#15

They’re making me read this thread right now! They are truly evil.
Oh, well, ay least I’m looking forward to flossing my teeth later, you can’t beat a good floss, do you prefer the floss tape or the stringy stuff, and how many times should you loop it around your fingers, sometimes it maked the ends of my fingers go numb, those end bits are always wasted aren’t they, they should do something about that, my favourite flavour was mint, but the bastards replaced it with watermelon, I ask you…

#16

Ironikinit, IMHO, it’s not about how lame I have to be, it’s all about how lame I want to be!:smiley:

#17

LAME?!

Is that a slight against those of us who limp when we walk?!

I am outraged!

Where’s my phaser cutting phaser?

#18

The OP is hilarious. I think I’ll start a thread about that.

#19

Of course, while some people put Mundane, Pointless Things they Must Share in the Mundane, Pointless Things I Must Share Forum and others put expressions of their Humble Opinions in the In My Humble Opinion Forum, when we come to The BBQ Pit, instead of encountering a fiery judgement rendering a holocaust to the gods of justice or blistering invective scathing the soul of some miscreant poster, we’re stuck reading a whiny little kvetch that don’t even qualify as a true complaint.

Ironic, i’n’ it?

#20

'tis. You all sit tight, I’ll email Alanis.

But back to you Ironikinit, whaddya want? I actually read this earlier today & I’ve been thinking about it all night. Is that lame? I’m actually thinking about this other human I’ve never ever met. I wonder if you were really totally serious. Were you just looking on the SDMB shelves & nothing was calling your name? You can always close the door, & go check the cupboards, there may be something over there you’d like.
I’m just wondering why this is a problem for you. I don’t feel the atmosphere has changed in the last few years. There will always be things that you don’t like & if it’s all so lame, I’m sure someone could direct you to a much more enlightened message board. Do you want anything or are you just venting?
Today I found out my Dad’s heart has been upgraded from 20% to 45% effectiveness, I’m sure that’s nothing to some, but it has filled me with the Milk of Human Kindness™
hugs all 'round.