I have a very good friend whose boyfriend died two weeks ago and I have not gotten the card to her in the mail yet. I called and left her a very heartfelt voice mail message the day he died and I’ve replyed to a facebook post she posted about her loss. Tonight I got a text message from her saying “omg did you hear my boyfriend died oh ya i got your card the same day i received a couple from some friends of my sister i never met”. This is making me feel terrible and now I fell horrible I have not gotten her card in the mail. I just moved into a new house and was away at family house out of town for holiday weekend so I was planning on sending the card this week, would make it 3 weeks since her loss. Do I still send the card? I am at a loss and not sure what to do.
This is really more of a matter of opinion than fact, so I say go with your gut. But, personally, I’d send it, though I’d get around to it soon.
Why does her message say that she got a card from you even though you didn’t send one?
Regardless - if you called her the day this happened and left a heartfelt message, then it’s absolutely ridiculous of her to be making sarcastic comments about the timeliness of your card.
Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but it seems mostly to me like she’s pissed because she’s been the center of attention and fishing for sympathy for two weeks and is mad at you for not participating.
I guess that sounds kind of harsh, but shit, if my girlfriend had just died two weeks ago, it would never even enter my mind to send texts to people complaining that I had not received condolence cards from them. WTF?
As said, this is really a matter of opinion, but as you said that it’s a very good friend, I would think you’d want to do more than just leave a voicemail message and send a card, particularly if you’re in the same city. Have you contacted her to see if there is anything you can do?
Moving to IMHO from GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
She probably got a mess of cards already, and she just thought she got one from you. You have till whenever you feel comfortable sending one.
So she made a mistake, with all that is going on it’s hard to keep track.
If you’re embarrassed at the thought of sending her a card, and having her think you sent two, simply bring over some food and attach a card of sympathy to that.
You always have extra company so some cooked food or dessert is always welcome for the people coming over. Just bring a cake or some simply food dish, attach a hard and drop it off at her house.