I met this nice young woman at a club on Saturday night, and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. Well enough that she suggested we get together for coffee, and gave me her number.
So, Dopers, being that I’m hopelessly clueless at this sort of thing, I figured I’d come to you. What’s an appropriate amount of time to wait before making that fateful first call? What’s too short a time, making me seem like a pathetic loser? What’s too long, showing me to be either callous or uninterested? HELP!
And if you’d like to mention your own gender, I’d be interested in the different perceptions between the males and females.
see the movie “swingers”
they had this very discussion, plus it’s a good movie.
doesn’t matter so much when you call (although today would probably be good)
but have a plan
know a day and place that you want to meet her, that way you keep from fumbling over words and the whole “um, I dunno, where do you like to go?” thing.
I personally think lunch is better than coffee, unless you are a brilliant conversationalist. It’s less intimate (less intimidating), only lasts an hour (max) so you can put your best foot foreward, get out of there if it isn’t clicking, and if it is, set up something for the weekend.
I agree. Lunch is a low pressure event, and if she’s anything like me brunch is her favorite meal and she’ll totally appreciate an invitation.
And if you met here Saturday, call her already! It’s been what, 3 days? Honestly, I’d be writing you off or questioning your interest.
>>>>Well enough that she suggested we get together for coffee, and gave me her number.
Never, never leave it hanging like this. Never say “let’s get lunch sometime.” Always say, “let’s get lunch on tuesday” or “let’s go get drinks Friday night”.
Really? That quickly? Yikes. I’m trying to play it , you know?
The problem, In Conceivable, is that we (meaning guys) know that we’re supposed to think about things. The problem is that too often it’s the wrong thing that gets thought about, while the actual important thing is completely overlooked.
And back off, superbee! I may only ride a Sportster, but I ain’t no sissy!
All’s I’m saying is that if I met a guy, hit it off with him, and suggested we go out something, gave him my number and it was a few days since he called me, I’d probably start to think he wasn’t that interested. Unless there was some extenuating circumstance. Obviously she’s digging what you’re throwing out there. Why delay?
Yeah, as long as you don’t call her the morning after getting her number, you’re OK. Depending on what you want to do, call her a couple of days before you want to go out. Coffee is a good mid-week activity, and if it goes well you can still go out on the weekend, so there’s no reason not to call right away.
If you wait too long she might get a call from a guy who called before you did…
really, how soon you call depends on what you’re calling about. if you said that you would call her the next day so that you could arrange to see the new flick that just came out on opening night & instead waited three days to call, well…you get the point
Why not call in the morning? As far as I am concerned, it’s never to soon for you to call. As long as you don’t call at 5 a.m. it doesn’t really matter. For what it’s worth, I would write you off after about a week, so don’t wait much longer.
Shera, some guys are desperate. They call right away, they leave ten messages, they act weird. Women usually find such guys scary, and run from them. Thanks to these guys, normal guys now have to be careful not to act in a similar way before a woman has a chance to get to know us, lest we be mistaken for one of these freaky guys. Some women have rarely or never encountered a freaky guy, so they don’t have Freaky Guy Radar activated. As normal guys, we have to assume everyone has Freaky Guy Radar on, and behave accordingly, as asking about Freaky Guy Radar usually activates Freaky Guy Radar. It’s stupid, and we all know it, but it’s a fact of life.
Me, I’m just glad I’m married and don’t have to worry about this crap any more.
, you know?