How long was the marriage?

Ok, simple question it would seem: I got married over 13 years ago, but we’ve been separated now for just over a year, and I’ve been told to look for the final divorce papers being served any day now. (Yes, great timing to do this around Valentine’s day.)
So, do I count the 12 years before we separated, or the 13 until it became ‘officially’ dead?
What does everyone else do?

(yes, I know this is a pretty subjective question and that it just doesn’t matter much and will matter even less after a while, but I’m curious. I want to be ready when someone asks me, “how long were you married?”)


I always refer to the time when we agreed to be married - i.e. up until I filed for divorce. I don’t count the 6 month waiting period, because we didn’t live together or act as if we were married.

But I guess it depends on who’s asking and why.

Just friends - technicalities aren’t important, so just talk about the time together.

IRS - probably real important to distinguish when you actually became SINGLE.

So it probably depends.

I always answer,“technically or emotionally?”

“About 12 years”

I’d probably give a vague answer that strongly implied I’d rather not talk about it.

My first marriage lasted exactly two years and three days. I was only pissed because the papers weren’t signed by the judge on the same day we married. That would have been much more fitting.

But unless you know to the minute, I’d go with what Scarlett67 said and round off.

Not that it’s anybody’s business anyway.

Legally it’s not over until the fat lady sings, so to speak. However. I’ll chime in with another “about 12 years” vote.

I got 7 out of mine, from the day I was married until the papers were signed. Actually I don’t know because her lawyer did not send me the papers like he said he did. I’m still thinking about turning him in for it too.