OK, given a discussion I was having the other night, I was wondering:
How long were you with someone (i.e. dating) before you were married to them?
and furthermore
Did the marriage last (so far)?
These questions arose after lengthy discussion of how long is appropriate to know someone before you marry them, which was supposed to correlate with the success of the marriage (this was one of many purported correlations actually).
As for me, I was with (or dated) my cough Ex for 6 years before we married, and obviously it was not a success. On the other hand, my parents met and were married within 6 months of knowing one another and they have been together over thirty years…
My ex and I were together for 16 months before we married (but he had proposed after 6 weeks of dating). We were married for two years.
My current SO and I have been together for almost three years now, and are in current “negotiations” for wedding plans (I want a simple little ceremony, he wants a big party–we’re working out compromises). It’s not official, but a year ago, we said we’d start making these kinds of plans once we’re out of school. Well, he graduates next month, and I’ll have completed my credits at the end of May, so, the discussions have begun.
My maternal grandparents knew each other for a month before they married, and were together for 43 years–sometimes, it works.
Me and and Mrs. Barbarian started going out in '91, moved in together on New Year’s 93, and have been solid ever since. We have no plans to ‘officially’ get married, but then again, we’re a couple of heathens.
I met the ex in '89 and we were together for almost a year before getting married, three and a half years after that the divorce was final. Things just went downhill after the ceremony and I have the scars to prove it.
In October of 1995 I had sworn off women, I was content to be living in an unattached state. Lola had to go and spoil all of that. We started living togehter on New Years Day 1996 and been happily living in sin ever since. I can’t see marriage improving this.
Met hubby in August of '90, starting dating in November/'90, got engaged in December/'90, married in September/'91. 10 years this September and it gets better every year.
We met in 1988, got engaged in 1990 and married in 1991. Still happily married.
I should point out, however, that when we met we were very young, hence the long courtship and engagement. Had we been a bit older, the whole deal would have taken only a few months.
That’s actually quite interesting as one of the discussions I had with someone argued that short-term courtship and “older couples” knew what they were looking for or getting into moreso than younger couples and/or longer courtship periods (with the longer courtships being argued that, to quote the other person, “the couple was not really sure they wanted to be with each other.”)
A trend so far in this post seems to be shorter courtship periods which is quite intriguing to see. I would have originally argued the antithesis, but then again, since my marriage (after a lengthy courtship) did not work, I’m starting to change that opinion.
As for the age relationship, I was 21 when I married. I’m now 27 and my SO and I have been together for almost a year (well, September to be exact). I think it’s a great relationship, and as others have said, I didn’t know I’d be this happy.
I met TurboDog November of '90, in a bar when we were both absolutely hammered (I am guessing on the 15th or 16th) and re-met him Dec 7th ‘90 in the same bar when we were both sober. We started dating Feb 91’ (after Valentine’s day though). Started living together July 20th '91. Got engaged Dec 21st '91. We were married Dec 5th '92. (I was 25 when we got married, he was 26). Two kids and 8 years later, I am still very, very happy.
Met Mrs. Rat in Sept. of '93. (Both of us were 18)
Started dating in Nov. of '93.
Engaged July of '94. (19)
Broke Engagement August of '95. (20)
Started dating again in November of '95.
Engaged again in Feb. of '98. (22)
Married in Aug. of '98. (23)
Still happily married today.
AFAICT, there is little to no correlation between length of dating and length of marriage. However, inviting the Mrs. and I to your wedding is a big jinx. Only 2 of 8 weddings that we have attended are still around. (Not counting our own, of course…)
for wedding plans (I want a simple little ceremony, he wants a big party–we’re working out compromises). It’s not official, but a year ago, we said we’d start making these kinds of plans once we’re out of school. Well, he graduates next month, and I’ll have completed my credits at the end of May, so, the discussions have begun.