I hate women who sleep on the first night.
You have to wait the whole afternoon.
You make that sound like a good thing.
- Male
- Depends on my partner. My ex-wife and I waited around 6 months, I never had sex with my girlfriend of around 5 years ago because she wanted to wait until marriage, and the last girlfriend jumped me when she came to my house to pick me up for our second date.
- It has to be obvious to me that the relationship will be a long-term one; I don’t do flings or one-night-stands. Despite it only being our second date, the girl mentioned above and I had known each other for a few years, and had become close friends for almost a year before we began dating, so we knew for a while that we wanted to be together. (This policy, however, means that I have dry spells of years at a time. I date, but I’m only in a good solid relationship every 5 years or so.)
- 35
- The other person can’t be in a relationship, even if the relationship is winding down.
I’ve come to the conclusion (in part thanks to this message board) that jumping into bed too quickly is an easy way to get yourself written off as “not girlfriend material.” My experience leads me to believe that once a guy puts you in the “slutty short term” category in his head, it’s hard to get him to think of you any other way.
Personally, I think it’s pretty silly. I’m pretty selective, just a quick decision-maker.
- Male
- There’s no minimum time. If I’m attracted to her and she’s down, then it’s been enough time.
- Relationship?
- 24
- I’d ask if she was clean.
It boggles my mind that there are people who think blowjobs aren’t sex. You know, there are people who ***only ***engage in oral sex. What are they, virgins?
Sure.
I got my first blowjob on my 18th birthday and fucked a girl for the first time the next day. When people ask “when did you lose your virginity?” I always tell them “the day after my 18th birthday.”
Does masturbation count?
Hijack, but I’ve gotta ask. Melon, you love blowjobs but don’t give head, and expect but don’t promise monogamy… is your biggest turn on in a woman low self-esteem?
As to the OP’s questions:
- Female
- Depends entirely on context
- Depends entirely on context
- 39
- Depends entirely on context
There’s all different kinds of sex, and I have it for all different kinds of reasons. I’m not applying the same rules and standards to everyone, because I don’t feel the same way about everyone.
Where have I said that I don’t promise monogamy? 
Most of my relationships have been fully monogamous and I take fidelity pretty seriously.
I don’t know if you’ve seen me in other sex/relationship threads but fyi my relationships are never vanilla and my kink is control. No, I’m not attracted to girls with low self-esteem.
1. Your gender
Female.
2. How quickly
Depends. I’ve had my share of one-night stands, and I’m ok with flings (though it’s ridiculously difficult to find a man who can truly handle one). When it comes to actual relationships, the sex has happened as quickly as the first date or as late as a month later. If we’re at a point where we’re seeing each other every weekend, a month is probably as long as I’d be willing to wait.
3. How committed the relationship has to be
It doesn’t.
4. Your age
38.
5. Other factors you might consider
Birth control. For anything other than a serious relationship, one of us has to have a condom: I have “called off” one-night stands when there was no condom and the guy wasn’t willing to go down on me (which would have resulted in a return-the-favor – or, better, simultaneous – blowjob). When the relationship gets serious, I’ll go on hormonal birth control after we’ve both been tested.
Here, here you said it:
You’re giving the other younguns around here, such as myself, a bad rap.
Misnomer, just out of curiosity, why don’t you simply stay on hormonal BC?
1. Your gender
I’m male.
2. How quickly
Several months at least.
3. How committed the relationship has to be
If I cannot envision myself raising a child with the woman, I’m not fucking her.
4. Your age
40.
*5. Other factors you might consider *
I’ll have to give that one some thought.
You are hilarious. Bill Clinton sex. That’s what I’m going to call it from now on. “So I was having Bill Clinton sex last night…” Not that I start my conversations with that kind of thing, but iffin I did (I’m also going to start saying “iffin”)…
Dude, he’s like 5 years old. Give it time.
My BC of choice is Depo, and it’s not meant to be used for more than 2-3 years (bone density loss concerns). That’s about how long I was on it with my ex, and I was down to my last 2 refills when we broke up (we’d started to talk about him having a vasectomy*). It’s been a little over a year since my last shot, and I figure (hope!) that by the time I have another serious relationship it’ll be like starting from scratch with the Depo. Or, maybe by then there will be a new, awesome birth control drug. Or maybe by then I’ll just be post-menopausal. 
As for why I don’t just use something that I could stay on, when I’m not in a relationship I don’t have sex regularly enough to justify the expense and possible side effects. I didn’t even use my last Depo refill, because I didn’t feel like spending $100 one more time when there was very little chance of sleeping with anyone during those three months. I almost did use it, though, just to delay the return of my period a little longer!
LOL!!
*Completely unrelated to the breakup, btw.
All theoretical since I’m all happily hitched and stuff now, but from my last round in the dating world (2.5 years ago)
- I’m female
- One week
- Commit to be nice to me in bed
- 30
- I was out of a fruitless long-term relationship and wanted to have fun.
- Male
- Honestly, it’s run the gamut from “right there in the mosh pit” (it was a magical (and idiotic) college night, but when she’s in a skirt and you’re in a voluminous leather duster, it’s amazing what you can hide from people standing right next to you) to “dated exclusively for months first”.
- It doesn’t, but I have to be assured we all want the same things. To echo and elaborate on something said upthread, there are not a lot of people of either gender who can actually handle a fling or FWB situation.
- 31
- These days, I’m not really looking, although I’m not averse if something that twings my polyamory-dar comes up. Fortunately, as a male, I don’t have to worry as much about women lying about wanting a lasting thing just to get into bed with me.
As for Clockwork, the guy’s a control-kinky guy. No doubt
means he’ll be monogamous if she wants him to be, and if she’s comfortable with him being Master and able to do what he likes when she’s not able to, then he does that. Takes all kinds, after all, and I know a few women who would find that situation highly erotic, to put it mildly.
Skald’s answer is also instructive–you had best be sure of your birth control if your answer isn’t along the lines of “I could have a child with that person”
Until they wake up, but I can make exceptions.
Yep; I definitely didn’t mean to imply that it’s only men who have trouble with it. Just that I’m only dealing with men. 