My brother is of the opinion that if you haven’t slept with a girl by at least the third date, then the relationship is going nowhere at best, and she is borderline using you at worst. The older I get though, I move closer to thinking that maybe the best time for sex is when you BOTH feel really ready and desirous of it, no matter how many dates that entails. Perhaps the older and more mature you are, the sooner that is, but the important thing is your state of mind, not the quantity of dates engaged in.
So, what do YOU think? And what is the range for this kind of thing, anyway? I’ve slept with women I’ve known for four hours, and dated others for months without ever going past second base (deliberately).
If she ain’t gargling the pole sausage 5 minutes after I meet her. . . then she’s overpaid.
I think it depends on the person Lizard. I’d say I ranged across the spectrum just like you, though welbywife and I waited 3 months before getting naked.
Depends on the situation, really - is it love or lust?. The older I get, the more I think that it’s ok to feel that I need some time to get to know a potential partner before having sex.
In my experience, sex gets better when you know your partner a little. The third time is definitely better than the first.
Completely depends on the person and the relationship (and what both of you are in the relationship for). As well as your own personal morals, and hers, and, to some extent, how old you are.
With my husband, we started having sex before the first date - course, we’d been friends for ten years at that point - so perhaps it was ten years - how are we counting?
Some relationship are physical. Nothing wrong with a lust based relationship (if both of you know that’s what it is).
On the age thing, three dates is not appropriate if you are sixteen. But three dates may be far too long if you are 87.
Any guy who I’d just met who thought sex in three dates or its going nowhere would have been going nowhere. Then again, I dated a guy for a year with no sex (his wish, not mine) and it got old long before the year was over (course, him being a Class A jerk didn’t help either).
My rule of thumb now is I have to know a fellow for at least a year before I’ll even consider sex, and even then, we’d need to be in some sort of relationship. That year though can and should involve friendship as well as dating. Let me put it this way, with a roll of the shoulder. The better I know you the more uninhibited I can be, and the better the time we’ll both have. With a good solid friendship to build on, neither one of has to worry, and we can concentrate on good, old-fashioned, lusty fun!
I dunno about 3 dates before sex. But I sure as heck had better be getting a decent kiss by the third date. Otheriwse I will feel like its going nowhere (i.e. she has no physical attraction to me).
“If she ain’t gargling the pole sausage 5 minutes after I meet her. . . then she’s overpaid.”
That sounds so professional…
Hmmm. Yeah, umm, sure, sleep with her by the third date but don’t have sex with her until many more dates & you can be assured that she doesn’t have STDs.
It really depends on how old you are, and your situation with the girl…
If you are 11… maybe you should wait a few years…
If you are 18… as long as you are doing “other things” 3 dates is probably too soon for sex…
If you are 25… 3-5 dates sounds about right…
If you are 35… 3 dates is too many…
If you are 50…3-5 dates sounds about right
If you are 65…as long as you are doing “other things” 3 dates is probably too soon for sex…
If you are 80…It will probably kill you anyway…
As soon as possible as long as she is receptive.
I don’t get the whole wait until marriage idea, what if they’re a lousy lay? Wouldn’t one want to kick the tires and take a test drive before you decide that you’re going to be having intimate relations??? Of course sex isn’t a big part of a marriage, unless you’re on the receiving end of lousy and uninspired sex.
I haven’t a clue. Trying to make rules about this sort of thing is a recipe for disaster. (That said, my actual experience tallies with your friend’s maxim: if sex doesn’t happen early on, there’s a pretty good chance it won’t happen at all. However, I would never dump somebody for this reason.)
Really really depends on the date. After a really great first date I could see sex happening. If there’s interest, but not a ton, then about 3 dates sounds right. No set rules, just happens when it happens.
I ended up having sex with my ex-fiance a lot sooner than I thought I would; we’d been going out for about two months when we first actually Did It. I don’t know how many dates that was; I wasn’t counting. Anybody who expected me to be in bed by the third date or he’d dump me would find himself preemptively dumped.
I think it’s different for every situation. I have had sex on the first date and I have had relationships where sex didn’t enter the picture for quite a while. Every situation is different. And personally, I have a high sex-drive, and part of being attracted to someone is wanting to get into their pants already! heh
For what it’s worth, I’m 26.
Seriously, my average with those who have gone all the way (and not counting one-night stands who I never saw again) has been one sexless date. I don’t consider it a necessity (in fact, many of them took me completely by surprise), but I think if I went for more than three dates without so much as an above-the-clothes make-out session, I’d start thinking that she wasn’t very attracted to me, or that we had rather incompatible personalities.
