At this point, most of the time.
Something’s going wrong. It could be your screening process.
When you see the guy’s picture, do you think to yourself “mmm!” or "I could work with that"or “well, looks don’t matter?” Well, looks do matter. He may not have to be an Adonis, but he should be above your minimum threshhold of non-hideousness. (And if you meet guys without seeing their picture, stop that immediately!)
Do you feel chemistry before the date, or are you hoping that it will happen on the date? 'Cause it’s far more likely that you’ll feel chemistry electronically and then none in person than the other way around.
For another possibility–these are some hard questions, but here goes…
Since chemistry works in both directions: Could it be that some of this lack of chemistry is because they guys aren’t attracted to you once they meet you. If one party is definitely not interested, a lack of chemistry that both parties feel is usually the result.
Why might a guy not be attracted to you in person? Are the pictures you share recent? Do they accurately represent your looks, including your weight? Are you misrepresenting yourself in any way on your profile? Is there something that you are being honest about but could be misunderstood as a misrepresentation?
How do you dress and present yourself on a date? Do you wear pretty feminine clothes and nice shoes? Do you wear makeup and do something with your hair? Do you schlep your regular humongous black hole of a pocketbook or use a smaller “going-out” bag? Is there anything about you that might suggest that your hygiene is not up to snuff?
I know a lot of you are thinking “oh, I never wear makeup” or “I only wear jeans and sneakers” or whatever, but a first date is like a job interview. It’s not about any particular thing. It’s about presenting the whole package. It’s about showing a guy that you’re confident in your own sexuality. Some guys dislike any makeup and some dislike a woman in heels, but most of the time, most guys react positively to markers of femininity. Yes, you should be yourself, but maybe some people should consider expanding their definition of what “themself” is.
A couple of times on this board, I’ve seem the same people who assert that they never wear makeup, style their hair, wear skirts, etc. complain about guys they’ve met online not being interested in them. Well, put on some lipstick and a dress, then!
(Yep, I’ll bet I’ll get flamed for this stuff. Oh well.)