How Many Hetero Male Dopers Dislike Anal Sex?

I’m female and despise it. In fact, I have a strict policy: “If you stick anything up my ass, including your finger, any other part of your body, or any inanimate object, I reserve the right to snap it the fuck off.”

That is all.

I’ve tried it just once with an ex- we were both curious, and we both felt pretty meh about it. I’d try it again if a woman wanted to- probably with a condom- but no real desire to revisit it.

Don’t much like it in porn, either. I don’t particularly dislike it, but what I do dislike is when there’s a closeup of something I could shoot a basketball into, and that seems to be one of the standard scenes in anal porn. Yecch.

Another one in the “tried it a couple of times, but I don’t suggest or pursue it” camp. Ever owned a puppy and had to get up during the night and walk barefoot across the room? Ever had to deal with your own skidmarks after a night of too much vindaloo and beer?

Too many of my fecal experiences in life have conditioned me against the idea of ever finding it sexy.

Mind you, I acknowledge that if it’s messy then you are doing it wrong, but there is still the need to get clean at least with wipes and a shower, and that evokes enough mental comparison for me.

That’s pretty much exactly how I feel about it. I just don’t like poo.

I just don’t like it. To repeat a meme from less sophisticated message boards, people poop from there! The tissue in the rectum is sensitive and not self-lubricating, and if you irritate that tissue, you’re treating a very, very important part of your body kinda roughly, and you may be voiding your warranty. (I’m talking about the rectum here; guys will, IME, put their dicks into anything short of a wood chipper just to see what happens).

When I was but a lad, I had a gay friend who, for some reason, thought that I was the perfect person to relate the tales of his never-ending battles with hemorrhoids, so before I could form a sensible opinion of anal sex, I was forever locked into the association: anal sex = hemorrhoids. My own little experience with

anal fissures (way too much fiber in my diet at the time) has left me with the desire to never, ever put my rectum (or anyone else’s rectum) at any risk. They already have pretty shitty jobs to do, and should be left alone.

Of course, YMMV.

Oh yeah, sure, apparently only YOUR anal fissures were naturally occurring…
:slight_smile:

It doesn’t count if you’re in prison. :wink:

I propose a new term: Sampiro (n. 2010), “A witty and ribald non-sequitor, often incorporating a reference to homosexuality.”

Yes, that’s a lot to have going on all at one time.

Just want to say that this post has several phrases that are full of win. :slight_smile:

Obligatory joke punchline : “…she was fired too.”

This. Being heterosexual, with the options of a warm, moist vagina, and a warm, moist mouth, why would I want to use the anus?

Heh. But the anus is warm, too.
…And sometimes also moist :smiley:

I’ve done anal with two women at their request and found it a turn off.
In conversations with other hetro men though I’ve always seemed to be in a minority.

I enjoy it, though I usually have to be moving pretty vigorously to get of myself…

My wife is a bit Jekyl and Hide about it, honestly. When drunk, she loves it. Begs me to do it, then go A-V for the finish.

When sober, she hates it.

Go figure.

Man, I think I’m getting a boner!!

ok, am I the only one who thought if it’s “squicks,” maybe you need more lubricant?

My best friend used to say to his wife: “Enright’s wife lets him!” So he talked her into it. One day we’re all over at my house when the subject comes up and my (late) wife says: “there is no way I’d let Enright do that to me!” Which was true; couldn’t touch that part of her ever; no way, no how.

The room is now filled with dead silence… and his wife says so calmly yet coldly: “It’s time for us to go.”

We laughed about it MUCH later; but boy was his wife pissed.

Porn has a blooper reel??? Seriously??? ROTL!

I am not interested in it in any way and never have been.