I was warned once, for calling someone a Nazi. In my defense, it was the Pit, and he was a Nazi. Okay, sorry Tuba, he wasn’t technically a Nazi, as in, I don’t think he was a member of the National Socialist Party, although I could be wrong.
Baby, I dream about getting warmed by a mod. Chronos, with his famous member, could spin me like an electron. Or I could grab Manny by his long hair while he bends me over his golf bag, with me shouting “Show me the wood!!”
::Huh, what? WARNED?::
Um, no.
No kidding! At least then they’d recognize you. Sob.
Author’s note: the preceding post contains humor, or an attempte thereto.
Just once, when I started an “In Memory of Jack Dean Tyler” thread in MPSIMS. Euty got that one pretty quickly.
I’ve since learned to take it to the Pit.
Look here! I just got scolded (it didn’t rise to the level of a ‘warning’) by Chronos. I actually feel a little embarrassed. Like being caught whispering or passing notes in 3rd grade. I’ll be good now, I promise.
[Edited by Czarcasm on 04-13-2001 at 07:54 AM]
Fixed link for ya.
I was really curious, too, about all the ‘perks’ of being a moderator - I’ve noticed the snazzy hats they all seem to have, and now, Chronos mentions his “moderator watch” as well. Hmm. Are there Moderator boxers? Moderator G-strings? Moderator eyebrow rings? It boggles the mind :eek:
On the OP. The closest I’ve gotten to an ‘official warning’ was once in GQ, I asked for some GD substantiation from another poster and manny swiftly swooped in to put the kabash on that.
OK, so I’m a little slow these days, but did mouthbreather (on the previous page) confuse Switzerland and Sweden? That is the kind of nonsense that will not be tolerated.
The usual punishment is to tie the offender to the mast of a burning viking ship in a blizzard and cover him with hot melted cheese, then pitch the ship over the edge of a tall mountain (the north face of the Eiger will do quite nicely). When his dying corpse is lying broken on the glacier, a quatuor of blonde women wearing bikins play Abba tunes very loudly in his ear with alphorns.
Or else he could settle for a moderator “First Warning”.
DATELINE: NEW YORK CITY, APRIL 2001
In what many are calling the Event of the Century (So Far), The Moderators of The Straight Dope Message Board have announced plans for ModAid, a worldwide concert to benefit those moderators who have been slighted, insulted, impugned, inveighed, attacked, ridiculed, and berated by trolls, socks, idiots, morons, and buffoons, to take place on July 15 at New York’s Shea Stadium.
A spokesmod for the event, Eutychus55, said that the event will feature such diverse acts as Boy George, ? and the Mysterians, Barry Manilow, Barry McGuire, Elton John, Tiffany, Bell Biv Divoe, and Shaggy.
Eutychus added that the concert will also be broadcast over the Internet and will be theoretically available in over 10 billion homes.
Other acts will participate over the Internet as well: Bob Dylan, Bob Geldof, Bob Denver, and Bob Vila will all contribute commentary, and some of it, according to ModAid, won’t even be fabricated.
To commemorate the event, the Moderators will release a single called “First Warning,” an epic tale of what a poster gets when he or she does something wrong. It’s a sad song, full of passion, hatred, tomfoolery, and wild hijinks. Variety has already called the new single a “must-listen,” and Rolling Stone wonders, “Who are the Moderators and where did they come from?” The latter magazine has tabbed the ad hoc group as the Next Big Thing and says it will be on the cover of their July 2001 issue.
Dick Clark, Casey Kasem, and Carson Daly have all asked for advance copies of the song, presumably to play it on the air. A source for MTV’s TRL show said, “[The Moderators] are hip, funny, revolutionary, and are so THERE, baby!” The source was then summarily executed by an MTV firing squad.
dan,
Did Don Cornelius not call and request a copy also?
I got a “It’s okay but don’t make a habit of it” from Mistress ** TubaDiva** herself. 
Does that count?
dantheman, you owe me a keyboard. 
Oh, GREAT. Now we’ll have to have another benefit concert for the keyboards…
Fight my ignorance here, Arnold.
How can a corpse be “dying”?
I was hoping no one would notice that. Damn you, DRY! I’m tempted to give you an official reprimand. Never point out the mistakes of SDMB staff.
Looks like I’m the slow one these days…haven’t been to this thread in a while.
So now I have Lynn sending Vinne after me kneecaps and Arnold is predicting an awful death for my invloving hot melted cheese and ABBA.
::looks straight into camera::
[cheesy PSA voice]
Kids, I have a lot of fun while I’m on the SDMB. But one thing that’s no fun at all is incurring death threats from the mods. It’s ruined my job, my wife left me, and now even my dog thinks slightly less of me.
So please, before you fly off the handle and do something stupid, use your brain. It’s not worth it. You life is more valuable than that. Instead, head over to the SDMB store and vent your frusterations on the “add this to my cart”, “proceed to checkout”, and “submit this order” buttons. Click away. Click like there’s no tomorrow. BUY, BUY, BUY!
And that’s one to grow on.
And knowing’s half the battle.
[/cheesy PSA voice]
[sub]God, I feel dirty.[/sub]
Sellout!
Is that what happens? It sounds deliciously ominous, like in one of my favorite Ah-nold movies:
YOU HAVE BEEN ERASED
:eek:
One time Chronos told me I didn’t flirt with him ofton enough. Is that a warning?
Scotti 
BTW, Chronos- How YOU doin’?
So, is that sexual harassment, or simply one of the Zeus-like prerogatives of being a Moderator?
moons all the mods
runs away
Never.
Then again, I’m a newbie and looking forward to having someone acknowledge my presence, or at the very least submitting a love poem to Anne Robinson of The Weakest Link (see MPSIMS 4/20?).