Mister Rik: That, too, is contrary to my experience. I find it to liquefy and run right down the drain, no problem, no mess.
(Did someone switch out a detail on my tech-specs and I’m using water-based spuzzum rather than oil-based like everyone else?)
zero, that’s what my wife is for so I don’t have to anywhere, including the shower.
I’m only here to bump this thread, in the fervent hope it will line up with the Should the Girl Scouts be ashamed at this? thread (currently about 4 threads away), and someone will notice and make a contribution to Sequential Threads. 
I think I’ve done it twice ever. It’s not pleasant, and pleasure’s usually the main point.
It’s a sticky mess wherever one ejaculates, but my experience when much younger was that the combination of semen and water was even stickier, not to mention in the shower, that sticky mixture would be over about half my body. Cleanup was too much work.
Is his name Jacob? If he dislocates his hip, there’s a Bible story about that. 
??? Point it in a different direction. How tough (I almost said “how hard”) can that be? I don’t get it.
GuanoLad: Why not pleasant? How is it different from any other whacking off, except wetter?
I definitely do not understand the “anti” point of view here. To me, it’s a win/win/win situation. Fun, clean, and comfy! And orgasms.
I felt numb instead of stimulated, it was a real effort to achieve any sensations at all.
Well, one thing I’ve learned from this thread: people can be really, really different!
It also really changes the context of the commonplace SDMB rejoinder, “Now I need to go and take a shower.”
I took that to mean it cools your libido down.
Conditioner lacks the acidic elements that most soaps contain. Perhaps using that would eliminate the burning?
Yes I’m serious and yes I know the burning is coming from the compression of the soapy water against the female urethral area.
That makes sense. I had a boyfriend who used a sock… I always thought that was… unpleasant. If I were a guy I’d probably use the shower, too.
Excellent user-name/post combo. 
I figured out fairly early on that the shower was not a place where it was even possible. Standing up makes it hard* enough, but all that water makes it even worse. In a bath, being covered in water makes it harder* still.
*Or should I say less hard?
He has rigged up a restraint system so we hope there will be no more incidents of Biblical proportions. He’s a straight-laced 72-year-old and got something of a shock Googling “bed restraints”. Apparently it’s an SMBD thing. :o /tangent
Zero.