“typing with one hand”
In a political vein (ha!):
Shaking hands with the president
Phoning the Czar
“It’s only common sense,
There are no accidents 'round here.”
Sheesh H8 you are scaring the normal people with that stuff. Seriously, find a woman - I am worried about you - seriously.
Oh, and you forgot one : “wrestling with Jimmy” (thanks to Weezer).
Good gravy man.
Aha, before you genuflect, I got the same list via email months ago.
Oh, and my contribution:
roughing up the suspect
“Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known” - Michel Gyquem de Montaigne
Midnight Carpet Feeding
http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~werdna/alliteration.html
For the religious-minded.
– Sylence
“Excuse me, are you reading Torah and eating crayons?”
“Pat the Robertson”
Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…
How about “obscure the skewer”
or, for sex, “introduce her to your producer”
I love those…
Sweet Basil
Didn’t get voted for a damn thing!
(thanks guys…)
Here’s something you might want to hear: http://www.laughnet.net/archive/multi/macarena.wav
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
Slappin’ the big-nosed rasta-man.
Do the hand shandy.
Make Percy puke.
Date Five-Fingers Mary.
Commit self-pollution.
Turn on the hose.
Make vanilla pudding.
Fuck me, H8_2_W8, you’re good. (That’s a pun in case you didn’t get it.)
H8,
WOW!!
Now I’m worried about any sheep in your neighborhood…
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
‘Buying the Optometrist a new house.’
‘Disciplining the monkey.’
‘Polishing the flagpole.’
‘Thinking.’
Eschew Obfuscation
This was the subject of a George Carlin monlogue a few years back. I was fortunate enough to see him perform it live. I expect that’s where the e-mail list comes from.
Wow, I didn’t think I’d get so many responses from a simple cut & paste I found on a humor website.
As a practical joke on a co-worker, I did one time print that list out with the header “Jerry’s To Do List” and put check marks next to 50 or 60 of the euphemisms. I then left if in the bathroom stall for others to find.
Come to think of it, I also requested a Victoria’s Secret catalog sent to the same guy, delivered to our office, but entered the name “Jerry D. Wanker” for the mailing label.
You have issues.
I like to call it “running for president”
As in, “I’m getting tired of hearing about how al gore and george bush are running for president.”
Oh, what’s that? So now you say life sucks?
Well 99% of it’s what you make of it…
So if your life sucks, YOU suck!
Joe_Cool
My personal favorite term is only sorta-kinda on that list. In honor of our former Surgeon General, who was blacklisted for daring to suggest that masturbation be part of sex ed:
Jostlin’ the Elder.
This post brought to you by the US Department of Overprotective Paternalism.
I’ve always liked the phrase: “Discussing the Irish Situation” I think from an old SNL parody of Casey Kassem by Dana Carvey.
What do you want for Christmas, Crow? I want to decide who lives and who dies!
The sound of one hand clapping.
When all else fails, ask Cecil.