How much are gays and lesbians protected from drama?

In predominately straight circles?

I am token lesbian in most of the circles I run in. I, for whatever reason, thought me being lesbian would keep me out of a lot of drama goes on in straight human relations.

I might have been wrong.

Example, I have recently admitted to several guys that if I were straight, I would go after them. This has not ended well, lol. Friendship dynamics with these guys have been permanently altered. Either they start hitting on me like crazy…or, they back away, and start acting cold. I would understand these reactions if I were a straight or bisexual woman. But I am gay! Any attraction of men that I speak of is purely hypothetical.

And from straight women…some of them display that jealous/competetive behaviour that goes on between straight women women. Such as being told not to dress up at a party or whatever, and then I show up and she and everyone else at the party is dressed up. Shit like that.

I thought me being gay would take me off the radar when it comes to common group dynamics with straight people.

Being socially inept or disruptive has consequences no matter what circles you run in.

For some men, there’s nothing hotter than turning a lesbian. When you dropped your little bombshell, you confirmed to them that you could be turned. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not - that’s what they heard, so now they’re gonna pursue you. I’ll hazard a guess that the ones who went cold don’t subscribe to this line of thinking, but rather, just don’t like being fucked with, so they backed off.

And as far as being “protected from drama”, drama isn’t gay or straight, it’s human. The only way to avoid drama entirely is to avoid all human contact.

Yeah, seems like when you told guys that you’d go after them if you were straight, you were fishing for some drama and attention. Then you got it.

Why would you think that being gay would some how protect you against petty, mean or (for that matter) batshit crazy human behavior?

Specifically you seem to think that guys actually give the same weight to “I am gay” as they do to “I would go after you.” Try a random search of all the threads here over the years where people complain that someone said “I like you, but. . .” and they can’t understand that “but” is an absolute deal-breaker.

Another example that involves a gay male friend. He went on a trip…and shared a hotel bed with one of the straight girls. Her boyfriend found out and he flipped out! There were four people, what was he supposed to do? Sleep in a cot or something?


Another…black lesian couple and white straight couple…the guy in the straight couple and one of the girls in the lesbo couple wanted to go on a fake date at a really popular restaurant to see how people would react to them being in an interracial relationship. The straight girl agreed, but going by her body language she wasn’t comfortable at all!

To those asking why I think we would be immune: We aren’t a threat. Well, shouldn’t be.

Keep them coming. A few more examples like this may help us identify the problems a little further.

Definitely because the gal on his fake date was a lesbian :rolleyes: It couldn’t POSSIBLY have been because her boyfriend was going on a fake date to tweak the noses of the stuck up restaurant patrons like something out of a more genteel version of “Jackass.”

So you and your friends expect to be protected from drama that you’re actively seeking out? The only one I can see your point on is the hotel example.

What does “token” lesbian mean? :confused:

Then stop acting like one. You seem oblivious to basic human interactions.

I guess her friends thinks they have to have at least one in their circle so everyone can see how hip and accepting they are, or something. Like on those kids’ shows where you’re guaranteed one to see at least one black, one Asian and one Hispanic character in the main cast.

And I’m voting for THIS for the major understatement of the year award! :smiley:

The point is that we were not expecting drama, and we are not sure where the source of drama is coming from.

Yeah, I guess some of the behaviors we are displaying may be somewhat attention-seeking. But we are just looking for a little fun (since we aren’t getting it from other queers). But at the end of the day we are gay and we do not desire members of the opposite sex. So, I don’t see what the issue is. And we all have been friends for quite a while, ranging from 5-15 years. We thought we were trusted.

Going by the tone of the replies, it seems that gays and lesbians arent completely trusted to be homosexual. Is that it? Or, maybe you all are skeeved about certain kinds of behavior, regardless of the gender/orientation.

Perhaps I should forward this thread to the few gay friends I have. I can’t relate to the anxiety, but I do respect it. Maybe we should use Craigslist or something? :smiley:

That’d be you all. You create your own. You know, never mind. What’s the point?

Annnnd there we have the reason for this ridiculous thread.

Did he just call her socially inept?