Ex-football (U.S.) player who co-hosts NFL on Fox, now actor as well. Had a part in Broken Arrow and starred in that bomb forest fire-fighter movie, Firestorm, I think.
Oh, and he’s on those annoying Radio Shack commercials with Teri Hatcher.
THespos, you kill me.
Of course, I would’ve liked to have seen Sam Jackson with that wallet instead, and everytime he takes it out in front of someone, he’d be like, “feel the force, mother fucker.”
Oh, dear God. I just made a snorting noise that woke up my cat.
To further MadPoet’s line of thinking…if ninjas jumped from the trees the second Jar Jar appeared, hacking him to pieces in front of a stunned Obi Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn, before stealthly retreating to the trees. This prompts Obi Wan to scream “What the bloody hell was that?” before Qui-Gon grabs him by the scruff of the neck and they run for safety, Jar Jar free.
I believe a Star Wars pornographic film was made. As to when and where one could find it… no clue. But it would be nice to see Hans Allover, or Princess LayHer.
…if they had explained how Darth Vader developed asthma
…if that little ewok hadn’t died. Poor little dude, his memory shall forever be remembered.
On another note
I second the motion for the porno flick.
And, for once, all the fucking would even make sense:
When Leia is rescued she fucks Han and Luke out of gratitude.
When Jedis want to get laid they just wave their hands and the force obliges girls to throw themselves at them.
Plus, chics dig lightsavers.
Who should star in the movie:
Leia: Jenna Jameson
Amidala: Natalie Portman. Actually no, she is too sweet a girl for that, make it Jill Kelly.
Secondary roles:
Chloe Jones as Han Solo’s sister, the hottest whore in the galaxy.
Nicky Tyler as Pussy-XXXtreme, female android programmed to fuck, fuck, fuck and then fuck some more.
Anna Nicole Smith, Devon, and Lexus Locklear as Jabba’s exotic dancers.
Could you just imagine Jenna Jameson stripping with the Star Wars theme playing on the background. Oh boy, what a great movie that would make.
Well, quasar, Leia fucking Han I could understand, but Luke? A little on the sick side, don’t you think? I mean, they’re ONLY brother and sister.
My neurological patterns are going wacko!
Wait a minute, Luke and Leia, brother and sister? WTF?
You mean that, back in Empire, when this verbal exchange took place:
Obi Wan: That boy is our only hope.
Yoda: no, there is another.
The Yodester meant Leia was Lukes sister? Leia Skywalker? Huh?
And then, back in Jedi–quoting from memory, possible minor inaccuracies:
Luke: The force runs strong in my family. It was strong in my father, and it is strong in my sister…
Was he implying that … Leia was his sister?
Dude, now I really feel dizzy. I suppose that now you are going to tell me that Vader is their father. 
Anyway, if that is true I will now have to change the script for my upcoming flick: “Fuck Wars, Episode 2: Yoda masturbates back.”
I mean, you can’t have an incestuous relationship in a porno! No way, lezbos are accepted, orgies are accepted, but bro and sis is a no-no. Gotcha.
A brief instant of sanity flourishes
Actually, I forgot to mention in my previous post that in the sexually explicit version–sounds more politically correct than porno, doesn’t it–Leia is Padme and Jar Jar’s offspring, no relation to Luke. So, yes, the scene where Luke and Han hit it off with Leia right there on her Death Star prison cell is still on. I am just waiting for Jenna Jameson’s confirmation to play Leia…
Original Trilogy: If everyone didn’t have 70’s hear.
Phantom Menance: If Lucas hadn’t have tried to over-explain and “sciencefy” everything, in some obsesive need to tie all the unexplained questions (What IS the force? Why was the Skywalker family line so powerful?) into one neat little bow. no need to talk about blood mitahogahohos, or whatever they were called. No need for anakin’s immaculate conception. no need to go into such excruciating detail about the political infrastructure of the government. No need to have C3PO be cooincidently(sp) built by Anakin.
Basically, 30 minutes could have been chopped out of Phantom, and it would have been a beter movie.