How NOT To Be A Dumbass In The Workplace

In My Humble Opinion
21

Ditto on being good to all the admins. I had a boss who, first thing, introduced himself to all the secretaries of any place he visited. (And he was pretty high up.) I did the same thing, and once, when I visited him in the Denver factory where he was manager, his admin suggested I book a hotel room at Stapledon in case I couldn’t get out because of the approaching blizzard. She saved me a night on a bench.

One thing I haven’t seen - don’t be afraid to speak up at meetings, if you have the slightest intelligent thing to say. If you don’t, no one will remember you were even there. Don’t assume that everyone has better ideas than you do.

Two more. Don’t piss off classes of people in meetings - think about where they are coming from. And ask your boss for feedback on how you did. Bosses should give this, but those who do are few and far between. If you have one, treasure her.

I agree on admitting mistakes, but do it even if you are a boss. The guy I mentioned above came down and actual apologized for when he did something he wished he hadn’t. It was no big deal, but I at least would do anything for him.

22

As an addendum to “be nice to all the staff”, I’d like to add “because you might be mistaken about just who they are.”

When I came for my first interview at the place where I’m working now, I stepped out of the elevator and saw a tall, skinny guy making some copies. He had long hair, tattered blue jeans and a T-shirt and generally looked like a college intern or part-time helper. Nevertheless, I smiled, greeted him politely, and told him why I was there. Later, during the interview, he came into the room and the interviewer immediately stopped his spiel to introduce him.

He was the president.

23

Listen to instructions, (although do ask if there is somethign you do not understand). I think this might apply especially to people who are new to a normal workplace, having come straight from university, or a short service commission, and have the attitude that there are lots of things that are somehow beneath them, and which they will somehow magiclly be able to do automtaically. They normally learn otherwise pretty fast, and with that type of person, it tends to be after making a mess-up that the average bright 12 year need not have made, IF paying proper attention.

Similarly, as someone else has said, when a mess-up happens, DO come clean. A new assistant who has failed to note down the name of the person she was speaking to 5 minutes ago would get sympathy and practical help IF she SAYS what has happened. Otherwise, there will be a very angry senior partner somewhere.

24

Amen to being nice to the custodial staff. At school, I am always very friendly to the janitorial and foodservice staffs. The custodian at the student-union building now knows that I belong there, so she’s let me into the radio station. The foodservice people know exactly how I like my sandwiches and that I don’t want pretzels or chips. In any event, they appreciate the contact.

Basically, the best advice I can offer is to just extend basic social courtesy. If you’re getting up for coffee, ask if anyone else wants some. (And if you take the last cup, make a fresh pot!) Ditto for lunch and stuff. If you go out, extend the invitation, or at least offer to make a run. Most people appreciate it, and it makes you a good guy.

Robin

25

Do not be afraid to ask questions if you are not sure what you should be doing.

If you are not sure what to do, it is better to get it clear in the beginning than to screw it all up and find out your mistake later. In an entry level position (or anywhere you are new to a company or system), you aren’t expected to know the way it should be done. Polite questions can save you a lot of heartache later.

26

  1. Understand the relevative advantages/disadvantages of communicating by telephone and e-mail.

  2. Do not gripe about anyone at work–even to your best friend/co-worker. Gossip travels far and fast. Never trust a gossip. Never.

  3. Take less sick leave than the norm. Co-workers resent people who use lots of sick leave, even if that person has good reason.

  4. If possible, stay away from negative employees and make sure they don’t coopt you or suck you into their negativity.

  5. Do not hang out at someone’s office/cube and assume they want to chat.

  6. Document your successes, failures, and any abuses. A solid paper trail is your friend.

  7. Kick in your fair share for anything at work related to birthdays, hospital stays, presents for the boss, etc.

  8. Be sure to join the group for the occasional gettogether, even if it inconveniences you.

  9. Manage your image (persona) as well as you manage your time.

  10. Keep your resume up to date

27

LEARN AS MANY NEW SKILLS AS YOU CAN. Your skills belong to you forever…not to the employer. As such, your skills are transferable from your current employer to your next employer.

TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT. Never can tell what the organization chart will look like a few years from now. Even the person on their way out could be tomorrow’s contact at a new employment opportunity.

28

Learn to take feedback well. Don’t get defensive. Don’t take it personally. Yes, take pride in your work, ask questions when you don’t understand the feedback, an discuss it when you don’t agree. But remember that the item of discussion is your work–not you as a person.

Learn to give feedback well. Again, remember that the item of discussion is the work, not the person who did it.

For any disagreement, remember that everyone has an ego they’d like to protect. You’re never going to bring someone over to your side by making them feel stupid for disagreeing with you. You may get them to go along with you in the short term, but they’re going to resent you for a lot longer.

29

I’ve seen it happen again and again. Do not act as though you know best because of previous education or experience. ESPECIALLY if you are a new graduate. You may actually KNOW better, and you can understand this about yourself and act accordingly, but in any workplace I have ever been in, projecting this attitude is just asking for trouble.

In my current situation, I have seen two freshly graduated engineers push their way into their new roles and basically say, “I’m the engineer, and I’ve read all these books, and THIS is how it’s going to go.” In one case, the person immolated their career so severely in the first month that they were essentially forced to quit a year later because they could not get any traction or support anywhere in the organization.

In the second case, I pulled the person aside and said, “Look around you. Who is the most successful? Humility and politeness cost very little and pay huge dividends. Your choice…” and their ability to work within the organization had made huge leaps within weeks.

Another way to look at it is to assume that anyone you work with, right down to the most lowly functionary, almost certainly has at least one thing to teach you. Notwithstanding ineffectual management, this strategy has always worked well for me.

30

This thread should be required reading for all college and high school graduates!!

I have just a simple suggestion, but one that I think can make a difference:

Bring a pen.

It’s a small thing really, but nothing makes your stock drop faster than having to ask your boss to borrow his/her pen when you’ve showed up for the staff meeting without something to write with or on. It sends a message to all: You’re not prepared.

The reverse is also true: Being the guy/gal that always has an extra pen will earn you points not just from the boss but from your co-workers. This also sends a message: You are always prepared!!

I don’t care if you have a palm pilot or keep track of all your phone numbers in your cell, bring your pen!!!

31

When asking someone to do something for you, always ask them if there’s anything you can to to make the task easier for them.

Take the time to listen to their instructions and follow them. It might be formatting a document in a certain way that may seem silly and arbitrary to you, but which is very important for their system, or being sure to provide all the information they need, or submitting a request by a certain time of day. Make sure you fill forms out correctly. If you don’t know how to do it, ask.

I’m amazed that people dump work on the staff like they are peons, with the attitude that it’s their job to sort it all out. And then they act all hassled when they’re asked to clarify something, or provide information that they didn’t bother with.

And then they complain that the chair’s secretary is mean and hard to deal with, or that for some reason they can never book a meeting room when they need one, or that their copy jobs always take forever. Cry me a river! Try treating the staff like human beings!

32

Those guidelines should be engraved and given to every college graduate before the diploma is put in their hands.

33

Yes, for the love of Xerox, please. I always hated when supposedly intelligent people would start to copy something, stop, then turn to me and say, “It’s out of paper. What do I do?”
I’d point out the boxes full of reams of paper, right there next to the copier, and tell them to open the drawer and add some. They’d then add about 10 or 15 pieces, just enough for their copy job. :rolleyes:
Even worse was when they’d sigh, say they’d come back later and walk off. Yeah, because later the Paper Fairies will have magically refilled the paper tray.

34

I second keeping a paper trail.

Also,

  1. Don’t be just another warm body. If you finish your work and you’re bored, don’t just sit there trying to look busy, go to your manager and ask if he/she needs any help with anything. They will appreciate your willingness to be a “team player” (how I hate that phrase), and will also be more likely to give you more interesting work and more responsibilities, which will look very, very good for your next review and will keep you from getting bored.

  2. If you don’t know something admit it, but don’t say so without a) offering to find out the answer to a question or b) if there’s no way you can help the person (i.e., you don’t know and don’t know how to find out, you’re way too busy or you’ve been specifically asked not to take care of such requests) pointing a person in the direction of someone who can answer their question. There’s nothing more frustrating than asking someone a question, and getting stonewalled with “Yeah, I don’t know. That’s not my department.”

35

From my most recent job:

If you regularly exhibit incredibly annoying behavior or, lord forbid, actively tease or taunt someone, and you’re not instantly called on the carpet for it, this is not a sign that you have free reign to indulge in such unacceptable behavior for as long as you’re there. Nor does it mean that the company rules about a harmonious workplace and respect for others are empty bluster. Forget everything you learned in your anarchic hellhole of a high school and shape up immediately. Keep acting like a jerk and you will get shown the door, and you can forget about getting any kind of positive reference from anyone there.

If you’re not the kind of person who likes working with other people, or you’re not particularly diplomatic, or you hate to listen to other people’s grumbling, or you just have a lousy attitude, for crying out loud, don’t get a job requiring daily contact with customers. Even if you manage to avoid getting bounced within two weeks, you’ll be making hash of your mental health and well-being, and it’s never going to get any pleasanter.

If you’re doing something that’s really annoying to someone else, and you don’t consider it annoying, at least consider why it might be annoying and whether you should stop. Would it kill you to play the 12 Greatest Island Hits of '02 CD somewhat less than 200 times every freaking week??

It ain’t whinin’ if you have a legitimate beef. If someone’s mistreating you, or your environment is intolerable, or you feel threatened, bring it up with someone who can do something about it. Be polite, of course, but don’t just sit and suffer.

From my past jobs:

I don’t like those bitter, health-wrecking caffiene pills any more than you, but sometimes you just gotta take one for the team. It’s always good to have a few on hand for those times when you absolutely have to stay up and alert.

If you’re totally bored with your work, ask if you can do some other task that needs to be done. I often got out of endless reshelving, checking in, and checking out at the library by offering to clean the cubicles; not only was it a refreshing change of pace, I got to look at cubicles that didn’t have hideous stains and obscenities scrawled all over them.

Don’t guess. If a situation comes up that you’ve never seen before and have no idea how to handle, ask someone who’s done it before. Especially if you’re working with other people’s records.

36

This is the best work advice my dad ever gave. It’s true whether you’re a Welder, like him, or a Graphic Artist like me. No matter how much you like your workplace and your job, if you spend your breaks with a complainer, it will affect your attitude for the worse. Avoid these people.

37

Create good Karma!

In a project related environment, such as a large engineering firm, always help someone when asked, if you can do so without getting too behind with your own tasks.

If you borrow tools, manuals or equipment from someone else, return them promptly and in the same condition that they were in when you borrowed them. If you break a tool tell the owner what happened and then take upon yourself the responsibility of procuring a replacement.

If you use someone elses workspace, leave it like you found it.

38

A few more…

  1. Continuing education is vital. In a hi-tech economy, you can’t afford to let your skills stagnate. If you’re not deepening/broadening your skill sets, you’re falling behind the competition. If your company offers tuition reimbursement or pays for workshops, go. If not, go anyway. (A corollary: Don’t lose touch with the fundamentals of your profession.)

  2. Keep a home copy of your key business contacts.

  3. Join the local chapter of a professional society/association. Stay active, which requires no more than 1-2 hours per month of your time.

  4. Join Toastmasters and develop your public speaking skills. Employers and co-workers admire good speakers.

39

If you drink coffee, learn how to make coffee.

Find out how many scoops are used per pot, and if they’re gently rounded or heaping scoops. (Heaping is nearly the same as two leveled-off scoops, so it makes a difference!)

Find out where the sugar, cups, filters, etc. are stored. When you’re in there getting your cuppa joe, take a quick scan and see if anything needs restocking, especially the pot of coffee.

You don’t want to be known as the person that always takes the last cup and never bothers to start another pot going. That’s a very fast way to get on everyone’s “list”

40

My best advice for the newly-employed is to look for ways to do things for other people, not for excuses to not do things. The phrase “It’s not my job” doesn’t exist in the workforce anymore - all jobs come with the standard disclaimer “and duties as assigned.” That’s why it’s very important to ask LOTS of questions in your interviews, so you’ll have a good idea of what will be expected of you.