I was in the barn earlier pulling a calf out of a cow, fishing down deep to grab both hooves. My unibrow was dangerously close to the wrong end of the digestive tract when a salesman walked in.
“I’m up to my neck in vagina. Could you hold on a sec. while I pull out ?”
What a great image that is funnee…I gotta get up to that crazy farm of yours someday 
Zette
“If I had to live your life, I’d be begging to have someone pop out both my eyes. Just in case I came across a mirror.” - android209 (in the Pit)
Zettecity
Voted “Most Empathetic”- can you believe that?
Ah, yes smell that nice country air. Yep I can tell the manure is finally thawing out. Just stop in at the four corners Zette and ask for directions to the funnee farm. That should give the locals some giggles.
That’s the funniest thing I have read in a long time in here!
Thanks funnee!!!
BTW, what do cows do that don’t have human intervention do for birthing proceedures? Hire a mid-calf, er cow (yeah I hadda throw that in there.)
funnee, since I just came into * your thread * after reading about orgasms in Mr. Zotti’s thread, this board is just getting too darn exciting for me to handle properly tonight!!
Doggone, lucky cow!
“Please Disregard the Following.”
techchick68 wrote:
They have the calf on their own. It just takes longer. (Farmers can be so impatient sometimes.)
Well occasionally the front legs won’t be straight and you have to rearrange limbs until everything points in the right direction.
Why back when I was a little tike I remember my dad having a problem with a calf. He couldn’t get all the legs straightened out so me being quite small and all he had me take a deep breath and crawl in there after it. Quite roomy in there, nice and warm, no wonder the calf didn’t want to come out. Me exaggerate ? Noooo.
Wonder if that calf thinks that you are dad?
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
What a coincidence. My SO said that just the other day when there was a knock at the door.
“Words fascinate me. They always have. For me, browsing in a dictionary is like being turned loose in a bank.” - Eddie Cantor
Funnee, since I’m in musical mode today, have you ever heard the early 1930s song “Misery Farm?”
We’ve got a farm, a barn of a farm, right in the middle of a swamp.
T’ain’t any charm in our little farm, right in the middle of a swamp.
Nothing’s grown since the day we came—
Misery Farm is our farm’s name!
We’re miserable, so miserable, down on Misery Farm!
So are the animals, so are the vegetables, down on Misery Farm!
We can’t make hay, the hens won’t lay—
Work all day and we get no pay!
We’re miserable, so miserable, down on Misery Farm!
I had a similar thought a few months ago when I was doing my first prostate exam. I couldn’t help but think, “I’m sticking my finger up this guy’s ass–for a grade.”
Dr. J
“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera
The that that I said, or that that that I typed?
Could be, what with Funnee being in up to his armpits and screaming “Who’s your Daddy?”.
Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold
And when you graduate, you’ll do it just for the sheer love of it, like so many people!
Or will you be doing it for the money… Which is also like so many other people?
Yer pal,
Satan
http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Four days, 16 hours, 5 minutes and 46 seconds.
186 cigarettes not smoked, saving $23.35.
Life saved: 15 hours, 30 minutes.
Actually it’s more like “Who’s your Sire and was he a semen-sicle ?” and it’s usually a muffled cry.
As for ‘Misery Farm’, I haven’t heard it but I’ve heard similar lyrics at virtually every auction I’ve attended.