Ok, it looks like we need a few more male postings, so here goes…I would most definitely be looking (given a proper interval). I like companionship, and sex, but most importantly…and this sounds weird…I like giving my love to a woman. And I really like women…the sound of their voices, their outlooks, and the whole package. Pretty much fits the man part of me. Not to say that I couldn’t do without if I had to, but it wouldn’t be my first choice.
And I am 62. And I wouldn’t want a young filly, either…give me a woman of substance…
Ah, the things we will own up to on a message board!
I’m 60 and I’ve been single for a while. I’m so set in my ways (spoiled) that it would be very difficult for me and someone else to adjust to each other, probably impossible. I do have this thing for Lidia, the Italian-American cook on PBS, but I think she’s married. Dang. And Martha Stewart “went gay” in prison.
Lackind an android, I think what I’d enjoy would be someone with her own life and living situation to hang out with and spend nights with when mutually impulsed.
I’ve been told this is selfish, but I don’t think so. I think it’s a very sharing way to be.
Besides, I’m taking this medication…
mangeorge (Seeking the on/off switch)
Aren’t we always the same age inside? I wouldn’t miss out on another chance at life’s greatest rollercoaster ride.
My husband and I are very compatible and I probably wouldn’t try marriage again. I would always be comparing the new husband to him.
But maybe travelling the world while living in sin with one much loved companion would be just right.
My mother was married for over fifty years to my father. She’s been a widow for quite some time and living in assisted care. A few years ago she met a widower. For a while he moved away to live near his son. But the two just couldn’t stay away from each other. So he moved back and moved into the room next to hers. She is 92. He is in his late eighties. He likes it when I tease her about robbing the cradle.
I married my husband when I was 42 after knowing him for less than a year.
I love my friends, I love my family (well, some of them), I love writing my books. There’s all kinds of love, and not all of us are destined for the romantic kind. Or even particularly need it, want it or miss it.
After my wife died last year, I pretty much figured that was it for me in the romance department. Like FCM the whole dating thing seemed beyond me. I got a laugh when friends would tell me that as a middle-aged widower with a job I was “prime husband material” and it was only a matter of time before word got out and I would have women flocking to me. As several posters have commented, I was also set in my ways and didn’t look forward to adjusting to sharing my space with anyone new.
So of course I met someone online who was recently divorced, and what started out as mutual consolation/encouragement became friendship. A joking flirtation led to us deciding to meet. Now I fly down to see her as often as I can, I’m planning to move down to where she lives after I retire next year, and we’re both pretty much assuming that barring some major incompatibility that we won’t find out about until we are spending more time together we’ll probably end up living together. We’re both agreed that neither of us interested in getting married again, but are not averse to spending the rest of our lives together. (However, she occasionally worries that I might meet someone else, and has actually gotten upset with me when I make comments like "who else would want me?)
And on the subject of sex…I had lost interest in having any sort of physical relationship when my wife was dying. It’s amazing, though, how my attitude has changed in the last six months. I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in years.
There was a couple in my hometown who got married in their early 90s. They had been high school sweethearts, broke up, and each married a different partner. They hooked up again after their respective spouses died following a whirlwind courtship of, oh, 70 years.
While I have had relationships, I have been a widow since 1993. At first my reason for not getting serious in a relationship was my child (I soooooooo hate women who trot a series of relationships past their children) and while that has always remained an important factor, I now know that I am single because I LIKE IT THAT WAY.
My last relationship lasted for 2-ish years. It ended when he wanted us to live together.
I really really never ever want to live with a man. I can’t be arsed.
I like men. I really like some things about men. I just know I like living without one.
I enjoy my own company. I enjoy being concerned with the childs happiness and not negoiating that with some blokes plans for the weekend.
I enjoy a bonk. I enjoy knowing I don’t need a fulltime man to have that. Batteries work wonders, FWB are even better.
I like having a relationship IF that relationship has definite boundaries. You are obviously someone who wants a “serious” realtionship (divorced 2 years ago and recovering from another relationship). There is no value in being single if you want to be in a relationship but some of us enjoy being single.
My father died in 1994, my mother was 53 at the time. My mother and I talk occasionally about if she thinks she’s going to have a new relationship at some point or if she’s going to give up on it. A couple of interesting insights have come out of some of these conversations.
Every now and then we’ll talk about some old, fairly close, family friend whose husband or wife has died and on two such occasions they remarried within a year or two of their spouse passing away. My mother said of those two “If you have a happy marriage, you’ll go for it again. If you have an unhappy marriage you’re less likely to go near that fire again.” There were a lot of ups and downs in my parent’s marriage, and towards the end it was mostly downs as my father’s health deteriorated and he didn’t handle it well. The two family friends had both had strong marriages before their spouses passed. So, I can see her reluctance to get close to that particular fire again. It could warm her for the rest of her life, or leave her a smoking, charred wreck. I can understand where she’s coming from.
On the other hand, in another conversation we once had we were talking about my grandmother(who passed away in 1997 at 90 years of age) and a conversation she and my mother had not long after my father passed away. My mom said granny told her “I’ve been without a husband since your daddy died in 1966. Twenty-eight years is a long time to be alone. I would not do it again if I had a choice.” My grandmother was a very wise woman and I know my mother loved and respected her very much. So here’s the other side of the coin. I know mom gets lonely sometimes, and my grandmother’s advice seems pretty wise.
I’m just glad I’m not the one who is faced with that decision.
At 49, I think I’m pretty much done with dating. But then, I probably never should have started in the first place. Not because I’ve had bad relationships - most of the men with whom I’ve been involved have been wonderful guys. But I am not a person well-suited to relationships, and I find this increases the older I get. I really like my life as it is, and I have no interest in making room in it for someone else.
I may change - I’m not dead set on never dating again. I just don’t have any interest in doing so. A good thing, too, since it’s not like they’re beating down the door.
I would certainly consider getting involved, even married, at any age. My Great-Aunt Dolly met and married a lovely man when she was 93 and he was 95, and they had a very happy five or six years together. They acted like love-struck teenagers.
My mother said from the day my dad died, eight years ago, that she’ll never remarry, nor live with anyone. She says she had a husband, and he’s the only one she needed or wanted. (And they had a reasonably happy marriage – not perfect, but close to it.) She did have a relationship with someone for a few years, but she dumped him because he got on her nerves. She expects to live the rest of her life alone. Fine for her, but it isn’t what I would choose.
This thread is making me think of a wild, wonderful lady I lived next door to twenty years ago. At the time she was in her early 70s and had been a widow for some sixteen years as I recall. I called her “Granny” just because she told me to. Actually she said she liked me more than she did most of her grandkids. Anyways, I once asked her if she’d ever considered remarrying. Her response?
“Hell, I had one husband and I got tired of him before he died. Why would I want another one?” I liked that woman a lot. God rest her soul.
Ok, now the gay vote checks in. Since I can’t be “married” I’ll put it from my perspective. I had a partner for thirteen years. He left. (Insert my usual snarky remark about that here) Last year I met this guy (well, kinda already knew him) at a party and had a nice time talking to him. A few days later he called me up and invited me to dinner and a movie. A few days after that I did the same. This rocked on a couple months, til I invited him over one fine summer Friday evening for dinner. Ok, dinner, champagne, a soak in the hot tub and… well, you get the picture. We’re still seeing each other. Matter of fact I’m all in love with the critter. We both have our own homes. We haven’t talked about the possibility of whether or not we want to live together, though we spend most nights at one or another’s house. Weekends, he’s at my place cause of the hot tub, pool and all that fun stuff. I don’t know what’ll happen. I live outside of town and he lives in town. I don’t want to live in town and I’m not sure how he feels about living “in the country” even though it’s not that far out. I like having him in my life but the living together part is not something I’m ready to go after and I’m pretty sure he feels the same right now.
I’m 41. If, God forbid, something were to happen to my wonderful wife, I wouldn’t marry again. This is not to say that I wouldn’t enjoy relationships of varying degrees of intensity and committment - but I’m not getting married again.
My situation is this - I am just turned 44, been divorced for almost four years now. I have two almost perfect kids (seriously) and a good job, a house, good health, and no social phobias. I meet plenty of women - I sat next to one on a plane last week and will be going out with her next weekend.
That said, I just have no real desire to be married again at this time. Companionship, sex, even love - yes. But marriage? No thanks. My life with two daughters is so good (they are with me every other week) that I just can’t imagine bringing in another person with their own ideas about parenting and how a house should be run.
Maybe when my daughters are out of the house I might entertain the possibility of marriage, but not before then.
I’ll soon be 67. I used to think if something happened to my wife that I’d be hunting a new one soon after a decent period. This is because I depend on my wife so much and have enjoyed being married for the last 43 years. Lately, I’ve had doubts about the idea. I really don’t think you know what you’d do until it happens, so those that say they are unattached and don’t want to get into a new relationship probably are closest to giving a true assessment of their desires. I do believe that women are more likely not to get into another relationship, but there may be cultural reasons for this.
My mother died at age 88, my dad made no bones about his interest in getting married again. Last year, at age 91, he married a woman who is 2 years older than I am. They both seem very happy.
I am 57 and married for the second time for 15 years. My husband is 9 years younger than I am but shocked the heck out of me by having a massive heart attack this summer. It nearly killed him. The first few days he was in the hospital were a tremendous surprise about how much I depended on his companionship. It was surprising because I had often thought I’d never marry again if something DID happen to him. Now I think I would probably give another relationship a chance if one tumbled my way.
I’m 29 years old. I’ve been with my SO for 8 years.
If something happened to him, it would put me out of commission for a long time, as he truly feels like my other half - but certainly not forever.
I have had a fairly staid love life for most of my life. I think I’d break out, date a whole bunch of different guys, go crazy, before I ever settled down again.
