So I’m looking for a mainstream videotape for the evening’s entertainment and my regular place doesn’t have it, and am therefore prowling the area for other video places and my eye is drawn to a DVD logo which turns out to be on the door of a porn palace.
What the heck. I am less provincial than I was. (The internet does that to a person :))
I go in and…hmmph! Rows and rows and rows of boxes, nearly identical, featuring female people with their legs peeled back at a 105° angle and confronted by either a tongue or a penis. No genre headers dividing up the racks by style or tone or subject matter.
Doesn’t appear to be a touch-screen thingie where you can put in search criteria, either.
I leave, rather than assaying to find out what happens if I ask the guy behind the counter to recommend a good tape to get horny to featuring this and some of that but not this and definitely none of that and a bit of this is OK as long as it doesnt’ become that and so forth.
I figure the thing to do is ask in here
How does one shop for porn in one of these repositories? What is the recommended method for finding out the range of what’s available and in what tapes it occurs, and where to find the particular kind of stuff you’re interested in and whatnot?
Is there a porno imdb out there or something? An erogenous Gene Siskel who reviews them? A code akin to the MPAA system that lets you know which ones contain this that & the other & so forth? Or do people just ask around at the office or while chatting with their friends and associates?
Well, the Adult Book/Video Stores that I frequent(ed) tended to divide things up in a couple of different ways. One place would put all the vids by a certain company together, and they would also put all of the 4-Hour compilation tapes together.
Another store I’ve been in would separate the anal sex and inter-racial catagories as well as havbing an entire wall devoted to nothing but the Classics of Adult Cinema
These days, the world of porn videos has become more and more sharply segmented. If you go to a site that sells adult DVD’s/Videos, (which I will not link to here) but if the link that Mr. Blue Sky alluded to is the same one I’m thinking of, that site should have links to sites that sell porn vids/DVDs, you can set up a search using fairly fine criteria.
Not that I’ve done that, a friend showed me how to do it.
That’s unusual. Most porno shops divide up their videos into various subjects.
Ummmm…not that I would know that…crap…
Anyway, if you’re looking for a x-rated video with an actual story, you’re looking for what’s generally called a “couples” movie. The idea is that women want a plot or something. But don’t set your expectations too high; the best storyline you’ll ever see in a porno movie will be the dramatic equivalent of a typical soap opera episode. Ratings, when they exist, tend to focus on things like the amount of sex in the movie, the attractiveness of the participants, and maybe the technical quality (usually in a negative sense).
Just walk up to the counter and say, in a loud confident voice, “Hello, shopkeeper! I would like to purchase some of your fine products. I am particularly aroused by {your particular fetish}, but am turned off by {someone else’s fetish}. Might you recommend something for me?” Then smile engagingly.
If you get the catalogue from the Sinclair Intimacy Institute they have a key for all their movies.
The movies all have icons about what types of sex they show (lesbian, hetero, gay male, anal…) if it is couples orientated, how decent the plot is and other stuff. Makes picking movies a little easier.
I’ve been to a porn store with my GF. The counter guy was really cool and made recommendations and small talk (strangely enough). My GF and I didn’t feel weird at all.
The movies were listed by “type”. There was also a wall for DVDs on sale (which is what we looked at) that broke it down by type and production company.
We have never gone back though because it’s cheaper to order DVD porn online than at these stores
Online is a pretty good option. You can get reviews and find pretty much just what you’re looking for. Of corse this is really only an option if you’re going to buy as opposed to renting.
AHunter, I think part of the issue may be the nature of retail porn distribution in New York City.
There are several factors that appear to impact the New York porn-buying experience. First, New York rents and operating costs are very high in general. Second, the effect of Mayor Giuliani’s legislation against adult-oriented business is to limit the amount of selling space that can be devoted to porn to 40% of the total store area, massively increasing the effective rent rate. Third, with the multitude of porn options in New York even in the post-Giuliani era, the business is intensely competitive, causing the porn shops to operate on limited margins and requiring reduced operating expenses and large sales volumes for profitability.
In short, New York porn purveyors are forced to cram as many tapes/DVDs as humanly possible into their limited porn selling spaces. This forces an absence of useful merchandising features such as division of the stock into marked sections and informational displays. Further, employees appear to be chosen for low salary rate rather than the ability to impart product knowledge to consumers – they’re primarily recent immigrants with little communication skill beyond what is minimally necessary to take your money and bag your purchases.
In contrast, some other parts of the country have large, tastefully decorated porn emporia that are staffed by helpful staff. With less competition, lower operating costs, and the need to attract business based on amenities, they present a much more consumer-friendly porn buying experience.
Well, being able to look stuff up by director or actor or title isn’t going to do me a bit of good, now is it?
The reviews are helpful but it’s still difficult to tell what is or is not included in any title. The keyword searches are rather disappointing, giving me no hits even when I’m searching on just one factor I’m interested in.
The stuff called “plot porn” looks intriguing and some of the stories do sound like the right kind of stuff, but for all I can tell from reading the descrip it might well be 90% oral sex as far as the erotica is concerned. (::yawn:
Good grief. I saw a bit of this the other day - I know it’s hard to believe, but it really was for research purposes - and what a load of crap! How can anybody like this shit?
Unless you get a specialty tape, the sex you’re going to see will consist of the following: heterosexual intercourse, lesbian sex, cunnilingus, fellatio, and male ejaculation. You might see group sex, anal sex, and/or decent acting, depending on the movie. Things you will not see in a mainstream porno video: gay male sex, bondage, or non-consentual sex.
Also, you might be tempted by a title. Many video titles parody popular mainstream movies; League of Extraordinarily Endowed Gentlemen, Pirate Wenchs of the Caribbean, Felching Nemo, etc. But the parody ends on the box cover; the actual movie will rarely have anything in common with the supposed target of its satire.
My advice? Find an actress you consider attractive and look for her movies.
OK. But what about the 30 minutes’ worth of playing with the outside of the jeans until you can see visible wet before the unzipping occurs?
cunnilingus
I’d really rather avoid movies with this unless it’s brief. Fingers yes, tongues no.
fellatio
I want a movie that doesn’t have this in it. Yuck.
and male ejaculation
You mean as in ‘visible geyser on screen’, yes? I want a movie that doesn’t have this in it. Yuck.
You might see group sex
Depends on context. Is someone getting seduced by the others?
anal sex
About as sexy as defragmenting my computer’s drive. Better than someone shitting, I guess. But yuck.
gay male sex
Again, depends on context. If it were interspersed with other scenes…and consists of things done with fingers rather than oral or anal stuff, I don’t care for oral or anal, that could be OK. Or maybe not. I don’t know.
bondage
Bondage could be cool. Seduction in general would be cool. Not rape, not an out-and-out unwilling person but an undecided/reluctant person aroused into participation rather than deciding to participate, yeah I’d watch that. A bit of plot development is a worthwhile development here if it contributes to seeing arousal gain on relucance.
non-consentual sex
See above. Violence would be gross and icky but involuntary…tickling, perhaps…
::sigh:: I know, I know, TMI.
Am I gonna find this stuff?
There is a big book titled The X-Rated Gay Video Guide that has the detailed info that you are looking for, and reviews of the performances. It sells for $13, and if it saves you from purchasing 1 bad video, it’s worth the price. (See Amazon here for more info.) Unfortunately, it was originally published 6 years ago. A updated version would sure be welcome.
I would think there would be an equivalent book for straight videos, but I can’t seem to find one. (Maybe a market opportunity here?) But possibly there are so many straight porn videos, and new ones come out so fast, that it would be very hard to keep such a book up to date.
