Have you considered the possibility that you don’t get any because of your chafed crank? You know they sell creams for that sort of thing.
Whoa whoa whoa WHOA!!! Who said I wasn’t getting any? I get plenty, thankyouverymuch. (And thanks to my GF too)
[sub]So, uh, where can I get some of that cream?[/sub]
Well, the last time I needed that cream myself, I just visited my doctor. He had me strip down and wait in an examination room. Then Candy, his beautiful blonde nurse, came in with her friend Tonya, the aerobics instructor …
bom chicka BOM bom
Beware! Too much cream will render Frog unCrunchy.
Hey, any ladies care to help with the application of this anti-chafing cream?
Anyone?
[sub]Anyone at all?[/sub]
Yep, that proves it. All porn is bullshit. In a porn movie, women would be all over that opportunity for lovin’.
Well, gay porn has ruined my life:
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My football coach wasn’t a blonde bodybuilder, and he never soaped me down in the shower.
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I’ve never had a muscled cop take a hummer to let me off a traffic ticket.
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Telephone linemen don’t offer sex just out of the blue.
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Ditto lifeguards.
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My straight friend has never come on to me after arguing with his girlfriend.
This kind of stuff happens to me all the time! Why just the other day the door-to-door vibrator salesman interrupted my college professor while he was giving me an oral exam.
Mommy WOW!
You’re a biggirl now!
-SS :eek: 
Yeup, it’s true. My twin sister opened the door. She was all giddy from drinking champagne in the hot tub.
Maurice Ravel’s Bolero is the best thing ever. If you do not recognize the name you can be sure you’d recognize the music. It starts with a very deliberate tempo which very slowly builds up in crescendo to a final apotheosic finale. It probably lasts close to 20 minutes and is the perfect piece to set the tempo. I recommend it to all premature ejeculators out there.
The music that I associate with sex is Knights In White Satin. Never ever try to hve sex while listening to Eminem, it just doesn’t work.
[shocked] I wouldn’t ever consider trying that! [/shocked]
1.I have recieved several, perhaps many BJ’s during job interviews. 2. I had several models drop by "to show off their new sexy outfits’. 3. Twice did have the girlfreind invite her girlfreind in, and yes, it is fun. 4. Would the bathroom count?
To explain: I mananaged, then owned, a modeling studio in Hollywood during the 70’s. You would not BElieve the stuff that went on. I’m dead serious. So, the problem is- you’re just not living in Hollywood in the 1970’s- when so many of these were made, and so many of the cliches came into play.
- As to the last one- really, I thought those guys were about average?
Great. Thanks Dan.
Ok, so what’s worse: understanding that this fantasy world will never exist, or knowing that it exists but not for you.
Dammit.
No, it DID exist, but only in “pre AIDs” Hollywood. Likely before your time, anyway.