I’d probably be having a lot more fun taking dicatation and I’m sure I’d have a better manicure.
I would have a cheesy soundtrack following me wherever I go.
<boom boom chickachicka boom boom>
I’d be the innocent one walking in on situations all the time.
[sub]I’ve never really watched any porn. I’m going by what I’ve read on the Board here![/sub]
I’d order pizza a lot more often.
I’d be worried about the fact that my neighbor is a divorcee and my hubsnad works at home…
I’d go to the car wash every day.
Then ChiDope would consist of me, BunnyGirl, jarbabyj, and all the other females in nothing but bouts of Dim Sum, tatooing/piercing, and sex.
I’d be getting stuck in elevators with hunky guys in business suits in elevators and I’d never get out of the gym!
Doctor and dentist appointments would be newly interesting, and getting your oil changed would take on fresh meaning… but maladies as rug-burn, exhaustion, and sperm aspiration would reach epidemic proportions.
“Where is Jane today?”
“She had to call in sick. She aspirated some sperm last night while trying buy groceries”
“That’s too bad. Want to screw?”
I’d be having a lot more lingerie parties, and there would be a lot more dildos under my couch.
…every position would be comfortable, no matter how contorted.
I’d probably be a drooling, useless heap of flesh on the floor.
I’d hang around the photocopier much more.
You’d be able to immediately identify lesbians by their perfectly toned bodies, long blonde hair, and talon-like long red fingernails.
Everyone would have tattoos and stale, over-rehearsed delivery of lines.
Screw making a decent wage. (poor choice of words there, given the topic)
I’d go back to delivering pizza.
I would actually look forward to receiving the mail.
Everyone (women especially) would always have on one of two types of footwear:
5" strappy stiletto heels, or
plain white gym socks.
Oh yeah, I’d also invest all my savings in the companies that make those “butt floss” type thongs.
One word: fluffers!
I wouldn’t be able to achieve an erection unless there was a Satriani-esque guiter riff being played in the background.
Also, I would never take my tennis socks off. And I would probably be helping jarbabyj out getting all those dildos in place.