How should I deal with my suicidal brother?

So here’s the deal: My little brother suffers from depression, and is suicidal. A few months ago, he took a bottle of aspirin and ended up in the ICU. After getting home, he went on a search for the guns we keep in the house (they were hidden, and have since been moved off the property), and tonight he almost took a bottle of extra strength tylenol.

So, here’s the background: He is 16 years old. I am 17. We live with our dad. Our parents divorced about 5 years ago, and we both lived with out mom until last August. At that time, I moved in here. All was well and good (for me at least.) My little brother was doing pretty well too. He had a girlfriend that he really really liked. He’s really popular, and played on a varsity sports team his freshman year. He had a very active social life. His personality is somewhat less admirable. He is spoiled. Not just a little bit, but spoiled enough to the point that if he doesn’t get his way, he will throw a fit, call names, yell at the parents, and be a general all-purpose ass.

Because our mother is a very busy professional woman, she’s rarely at home in the afternoons. Little brother used this as an opportunity to invite friends over to drink and smoke pot on a daily basis. His grades, which had never really been good, slipped even further and he became less and less friendly and respectful. It was decided that he should be in a more structured environment.

That was in January. It was tough at first, because he was used to unlimited freedom. The idea of being picked up from school and coming directly home to a supervised house was not one he was happy with. But, before long, he became accustomed to the routine and seemed ok. Then, his girlfriend dumped him.

So he took a bottle of aspirin. Because people, including myself, are foolish, he convinced us that it was not a geniune attempt. He was bored, he was foolish, and it was just bad judgment. He couldn’t possibly really be suicidal. Then he went gun-hunting.

So he went into an inpatient program at the hospital for a few days until they were convinced that he was fixed. They gave him some paxil, which he took for a while. Then, he decided that he didn’t need it, so he quit taking it. That brings us to today. He quit the pills about 2 weeks ago and has seemed stable.

This house has one phone line, and one computer. I’m feeling a little greedy, and I have refused to give up my spot at the computer. The same was done to me by the brother some time ago. I hoped he would learn the “treat others the way you want to be treated” lesson. He didn’t.

So he pitched a fit and stormed away to take a bottle of tylenol. He decided before ingesting any that it was probably a bad idea.

So, here’s the question: What should I be doing here? I know that his life is very important, and I should be concerned about preserving it, but if he doesn’t learn to deal with not getting his way now, in regards to things like phone time, what will happen when he gets a drivers license? He is a perfect candidate for road rage crime.

All advice is welcome.

Get professional advice, and not from a message board. This is way too important for message board advice. Talk to your school counsellors - they can probably point you to the appropriate professional.

I agree with Northern Piper. This is something that needs to be taken very seriously and we are not qualified to give advice on this. I do hope he gets the help that he needs, and that you get help also, because this can’t be easy for you to deal with either. You shouldn’t have to live in fear that something you say or do will be his “trigger”.

Ooner,

Northern Piper is right. You should get advice from a professional. This is serious. I’ve been there, on both sides of the problem. Stopping medication without proper supervision is not a good thing. In case you feel it’s too urgent to wait to talk to a guidance counsellor or you feel uncomfortable about it here is the number for the Boys Town National Hotline 1-800-448-3000. (It’s free, supposed to be available 24 hours and they can refer you to local resources). Perhaps other Dopers will have other suggestions for reliable people for you to talk to.

rivulus

Ooner:

Of course I agree with the others. Get professional help.
You really have no way of knowing how much of his behavior is immaturity, how much is being a spoiled brat, and how much is depression. And, no offense, at 17, you lack the perspective, to say nothing of the medical training, to help him through a lot of this.

I’m sure you’re a great and supportive brother to him. But you aren’t a medical professional, and you should help him seek someone who is.

Good luck, and let us know how this goes!