Sorry, not quite grokking why I was rude accepting his offer. I dont play that “I offered but I didnt seriously want you to accept” game.
Now, this brings up a much larger point, one that maybe warrants its own thread. We can start here though. What exactly makes a drink ‘girly’ ? Taste? Color? Strength? Obviously some drinks are no-brainers, but what about my Blue Lagoon. Sure it was blue, and yes it has a sweet taste, but it’s got four shots worth in it. It’s just a little weaker than a LII Tea, which is definitely not a girly drink. What do you think?
I didnt get that vibe, but, then again, I was already half drunk, so maybe I am the rude one for totally not getting his signals. Oh my god… He WAS with a black friend of his… they seemed really chummy, and I figured they were just drinking buddies, but… it’s possible… Ungh, now I feel dirty.
So, it’s not unreasonable that someone, seeing you drinking it, would think, “Damn, that looks like a fou-fou drink”? Even, given the tendency of alcohol to loosen the tongue, to say something to that effect out loud?
You were sitting at the bar, chatting with the bartender. Under such circumstances, an observer might suspect you were open to a bit of shooting the shit, perhaps about what you were drinking. Just be glad Cliff Claven didn’t pipe up with some useless facts about whatever you were talking to the bartender about.
You should be grateful that there was someone around watching out for your masculinity.
Okay, what should he have criticized and harrangued you about?
Guys harrangue each other. Sometimes it’s to pick a fight, sometimes it’s to break the ice, have a laugh, give you a chance to show you’re one of the guys.
On reflection, I think the proper response would have been to offer to buy the guy a Blue Lagoon, while suggesting that he wouldn’t be able to handle something that potent.
Were you wearing a curly wig, short pants, and knee-high socks and holding a big lollipop? Because that isn’t a “cool” comeback – if you ACTUALLY said it, it makes you sound girly much more than drinking a blue drink makes you look girly.
I’m just trying to help you. If you’re going to drink blue drinks in public, you need to carry yourself in a way that won’t open you up for further mockery.
It sounds to me that he was one of those sales rep type guys who like to shoot the shit and be overly friendly with people he doesn’t even know. He seems like one of those type guys who thinks that he is such a charmer that he can chat up anyone, anywhere, about anything.
Yeah, he was being rude, but you were sitting at a bar and people were drinking, so his attempt at humor is a little more acceptable. He thought he was being a pal and even offered you an expensive drink to offset his assholeness. I say let it go and allow yourself to enjoy your totally non-gender specific and completely uni-sex drink (by the way, although I never order them publicly, I like frozen margaritas shhhhhh, lets just keep that between us here, Ok?)
I bartend, so I see this type of thing all the time…and I’ve been known to give guys some friendly shit myself if they order “girly drinks” from me. “You want an Amaretto Sour/Smirnoff Ice/Blue Hawaiian/strawberry daiquiri? The pink skirt is complementary/do you want to put that on your Victoria’s Secret card,” etc…
It’s part of “bar talk,” and it’s not usually intended to be anything but a harmless conversation-starter. And there’s a generally accepted “code” that if you sit at a bar, esp. if you’re talking to the bartender, you’re open for conversation from others at the bar.
It’s pretty much a rule that anything colorful, sweet, and/or particularly weak is a “girly drink.” Because people who don’t drink very often tend to prefer drinks where the alcohol flavor is muted, whereas “seasoned drinkers,” or people who have developed a taste for alcohol, actually enjoy the flavor. Full-flavored beer vs. a light beer, vodka martini vs. a Cosmopolitan, etc.
The guy in the OP may have been a bit obnoxious but he sounds as though he meant no harm–he was looking to start a conversation–and he gets points for buying a top-shelf whiskey to replace the “girly drink” he was mocking.
I’d say you got some conversation and a free drink out of the deal and not to worry about it.
I laughed so hard at this I think I swallowed my own tongue! Good one!
Regarding the OP: I don’t go to bars all that often but it does seem that friendly slagging of one’s drink of choice is just playful banter. It’s like a beer drinker laughing at a Zima drinker or someone with a Guiness or Boddington’s giving the guy with Michelob Light shit about drinking piss water. It’s an excuse to start a conversation. Seems like typical male posturing to me.
Sounds to me like the guy was trying to establish his Alpha Male status.
Once he did that by making you chug your drink; every thing was cool.
So since you played along with his game; he was nice enough. However, if you hadn’t played along with his game, it’s likely, he could have been a lot ruder.
Personally I wouldn’t have chuged the drink.
Aaaand…did I mention that I am a female? It’s one of those games I’ve noticed and because I’m not some “omega girl” have gotten sucked into, and “won” the “game.” It’ really a territorial pissing. He’s not checking into *how * you man up but whether you man up at all.
(by the way, although I never order them publicly, I like frozen margaritas shhhhhh, lets just keep that between us here, Ok?)