I would never impose on a friend that way. If you’re traveling, use Hotels.
Let me just throw in that lying to them like this is a really bad idea. They will be expecting you to move out too, and seal up stuff to protect it from fumigation, and… it’s just a really bad idea to tell a lie in these circumstances, especially one that could be found out so easily.
Exactly. It is entirely possible to fly from Australia to London for about AUD$500, but that same $500 won’t get you very far once you get to London.
These days, you can get a room in an upscale hotel in Midtown NYC for around 125 bucks a night----Check out Hotwire or Hotels.com and you will see that a hotel room (in the OP’s case split between 3 people) dosent need to break the bank…
I still am shocked that the “guests” dont take the OP out nightly for meals, drunken revels and anything else the OP feels like getting into. It’s just the way things are done, and a cheapskate move not to. (Not to mention it may make the host more likely to keep offering his tiny apartment up as a crashpad for future visits)
PS—Its too bad that the guests are not reading this thread, maybe they would be shamed into behaving better that they apparently have in the past. (i.e., paying for the host’s Goddamned meals already)
No kidding. I have a friend from back east who came out to SF and stayed with me for a week. She bought an aerobed and an electric juicer for herself, and left them for me as gifts. She brought a case of my favorite beer from Jersey, and treated me to a weekend of wine and nice restaurants, a pedicure, and a home-cooked gourmet meal. She wouldn’t let me touch my dishes, scrubbed the bathroom & washed all the linens and towels on the last day, and sent a thank you note.
She could come stay with me again anytime.
She a-howlin’ about the front rent, she’ll be lucky to get any back rent. She ain’t gonna get none of it.
It sounds like you are suffering from the relationship equivalent of the sunk cost fallacy (i.e., throwing good money after bad). Just because you have a history with someone does not mean you have to put up with their discourteous behavior for all time. That is your choice, though.
If you do decide to rescind your offer (which is perfectly reasonable given the excessive stay) what about offering to reimburse your friend for any non-refundable portion of his ticket? A lot cheaper than paying for a hotel, and more than equitable on your part.
I’m starting to agree with the folks that think you should suck it up this time - you’ve missed your chance. When your friend ‘announced’ a 9-day stay (did he even say '…if that’s okay with you?) I would’ve said no right there and then.
You suffer from Living-In-A-Popular-And-Expensive-Vacation-Spot Syndrome - I understand, I live in London, and learnt long ago to give out homestays sparingly and make it clear to guests that I’m just too busy to have guests for longer than a couple of days at a time (and even then, with plenty of warning and negotiation of when they’re coming).
Damn. She’s welcome in my home anytime she wants!
Nah…we still don’t have the same definition of afford.
As MPB said, it isn’t $400 a night. You might need to stay in Jersey, but you can find cheaper hotel rooms in the New York area, and you are splitting the stay between friends.
And you are paying for food, unless he is eating his host’s groceries for a week and a half. And you are taking 9 days from whatever means you use to earn income, so there is more at play than the plane tickets.
But really, anyone who stays with friends needs a backup plan. Can’t control friends - if he calls and say “sorry, I have the flu, you are going to need to find another place to crash” they are SOL. Therefore, he can’t afford the trip if he can’t afford the hotel room because he can’t afford having his place to crash fall through.
That’s not the definition of “afford” used by most of the travelling, English-speaking population under about, oooh, 30ish.
For example, If I decide to go back to NZ for a visit, I don’t factor accommodation costs into the equation because I have family and friends to stay with. So my only concerns with regards to affordability are “Can I afford the airfare, can I afford food, can I afford to actually do anything while I’m there, and can I afford to cover all the bills etc while I’m gone?”