How the hell am I gonna decide if I want to kill Smoochy or not????

I must preface this by saying I know nothing about movies. I don’t know what a “quality movie” is. I guess I can appreciate a great cinematic experience as much as the next guy, but when it comes right down to it, I have to fall back on the same mantra as millions of under-educmacated museum goers, to paraphrase, “I don’t know much about movies, but I know what I like.” Hell, I still can’t figure out why Hudson Hawk isn’t hailed as the epitome of latter day screwball comedies or parodies or somthin’ funny.

That said, who the fuck are these people? Two people I’ve never heard of are, as of yet, the only two to grace us with their take on the new movie Death to Smoochy. I’m looking forward to this flick, so I took the opportunity to look it up on IMDB to see if there were any preliminary reviews. After being redirected to the review collection depot of Rotten Tomatoes, I finally see there are two reviews. Unfortunately for me, they both feel that Death to Smoochy is garbage. Fortunately for me, they agree on little else. One feels the sets and cinematography is outstanding:

Whilst the other feels this is the greatest offense to aesthetic taste since Big Ole’ Aunt Bertha wore the psychedelic paisley mu-mu to the church picnic and her sweat stains caused the colors to run.

Since I don’t need any vertigo or extra Nasal-Cam views to round out my already full life, this is a definite warning sign.

As far as the direction goes, one of them, Kirk Honeycutt is so disappointed that Danny DeVito, the genius of dark comedies, responsible for The War of the Roses and Throw Momma from the Train, has gone so awry with this outing that I expect him to reach for the disemboweling knife at any moment. The other, Alex Nohe, seems strangely comforted that it’s as bad as it is. He seems to feel that DeVito sucks as a director and that his talents lie in the realm of executive producer. Now, given that I’m a complete outsider in terms of the movie industry, I have to translate this into something I understand. He seems to be saying that DeVito is to making movies what a condom is to having a good one-night-stand, we couldn’t get it done without you in this day and age, but we don’t like thinking about you too much. (“What’s an associate producer credit? It’s what you give your secretary instead of a raise.” Thank you, David Mamet.) Hey, I don’t know anything about movies, so I could be way off base.

And you know what, geniuses, on one of the few things you fuckwhistles did agree on, I don’t. I actually like seeing Robin Williams when he goes a little over the top and starts chewing on the scenery a bit. Certainly Good Morning, Vietnam and Aladdin were made by giving Robin Williams a lot of slack and letting him go a bit over the top. And, if The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and Hook weren’t made by his act, they were certainly made better by his antics. I do think he can go too over the top and go from chewing on the scenery to shitting all over it and creating the sort of feces masterpieces rarely seen outside the monkey house at the Zoo (or the Brooklyn Museum). Patch Adams, I’m looking at you.

What can I say, I like Robin Williams, I like Edward Norton and I think the trailer looks sort of interesting. I know, I know, there are legions of freakish, idiot-savants in Hollywood who have no social skills and think that Honduras is the capital of South America but pull down seven figure salaries because they can cut a trailer that makes even Battlefield Earth look better than the 117 minute cavalcade of visual, religious and artistic diarrheic pointlessness that it actually turned out to be.

I’m probably going to go see the movie no matter what. And in the slim chance the movie fits my admittedly plebian tastes, I’ll feel smug and superior that I saw through the high-falutin’ opinions of these paid opinion flacks to recognize the true genius that is Death to Smoochy. If, on the other hand, the movie does suck the member of a syphilitic burro, I’ll probably blame it all on the Hollywood hype machine that makes everything look at least moderately interesting.

It wouldn’t be any fun otherwise.

It’s been years since I saw Robin Williams in a movie and didn’t sit there wincing at the mind-boggling waste of talent.


I think I’ll wait till it comes out on video.

Right on, DDG. I mean, did you see Bicentennial Man? God, that’s almost 3 hours of my life I’ll never get back. What a pile of crap.

That said, I may actually go see Death to Smoochy, because I do like Edward Norton quite a lot. And Robin Williams in a dark comedy could actually be refreshing.

On a slightly related note, why is the movie “Death to Smoochy” but in the ads the URL for the website is “”?

Looks like is occupied by a cybersquatter.

I saw Death to Smoochy yesterday. It was[list=a][li]hilarious (I laughed out loud throughout practically the entire film, something I almost never do in theaters),[/li][li]very dark (this film is rated R for a very good reason; there is, in fact, some stuff that I am surprised made it into the final cut),[/li][li]not for everyone (completely separate from the fact of the darkness of it, this film sings, dances, and marches over some rhetorical ground that a lot of people will not feel comfortable with).[/list=a] [/li]Highly recommended. 8 out of 10. Not an instant addition to my DVD Wish List, but almost certainly going to wind up there sooner or later.

Okay, okay. Sounds good. I mean… Danny makes the greatest black comedies…

But Robin worries me. I loved him in the 70s. That HBO special of his? Funniest thing I ever saw.

I loved him later. Genie, Aladdin.

But ever since Mrs. Doubtfire, he’s been playing it serious, and maudlin.

Is his game back? This is not a “very special episode”, is it? He’s not gone all Woody Allen on us?

Ed Norton. You know, it’s interesting, but he hasn’t been pushed in the ads at all.

I dunno. Any thoughts?

Oh, hell yes. He even takes a swipe at his Mrs. Doubtfire dialect work.

With no disrespect to him intended, Ed Norton will not put fannies in seats. This is a shame, because he constantly impresses me with his abilities, and this film is no letdown from that. His character is simple and good-hearted without being two-dimensional, and he has stuff going on that hasn’t been completely worked out yet, which helps with the climax of the film.

I don’t want to be giving any more away than that, though.

Oh, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised all through the film by who pops up here and there, because there are no opening credits. Do yourself a favor, and don’t go looking to see who’s in it. It’s a hell of a lot of fun to let them surprise you.

I second the opinion that DTS is definitely worth seeing. It had me in hysterics the whole time, and rest assured that Robin Williams is back to his old self, even though a lot of his part involves getting the crap kicked out of him.