How to decide who "wins" a fistfight?

Soooo… suppose two guys get into a fist fight in order to determine which one will come out the winner. I don’t care about why–whatever reason you want. But it’s bare fists, no weapons, no particular fighting style, and pretty much spontaneous so the rules have to be decided on the spot.

What would you think the “rules” are, and how would you determine who “wins”?

I would assume it would probably go a lot like boxing. A large part of it is how many times you connect a hit. Without rounds and judges, you might assume looking for a TKO as the decision. A surprising number of guys are pretty bad at taking a punch.

Whoever bleeds the most or has the most bruises loses.

Sometimes the “winner” isn’t apparent until the next day after the pain has a chance to settle in. (Also until you’ve had a chance to tally up all you bruises.)

The second one to cry uncle wins.

I assume you’re talking about an actual “fistfight” and not some street fight, MMA-style, assault. One person will not be able to continue the fight. Either by choice or because of injury. I quit. No mas. That person lost the fight. The so-called “winner” of this fistfight will probably be nursing some serious injuries, also.

The general rules for a impromptu fistfight are fists only and no hitting below the belt. (Until someone gets pissed and then the rules go out the window.)

If they are both adults, and they are in a fistfight, they are both already losers.

The loser’s friends/girlfriend yell “stay down.”

Just eat the tortilla. It will teach you not to fear death.

A street fight? The only thing that really matters is who’s standing at the end. Whoever gives up and refuses to continue to fight loses. The exception is if the opponents are clearly mismatched and the weaker party has taken so much damage that the stronger decides to stop out of mercy.

It isn’t a boxing match, so you don’t get any points for style or how many punches you throw. And you can take more damage than your opponent and still win if you outlast him.

This, +10.

No, you can “win” a fight even if you take more damage by not giving up.

The rules could be anyhting from non existent to no hitting a man when he is down. They have honor fights in Ireland I believe you can watch on you tube. If two guys in out car club decided to fight we had rules very much like boxing but wrestling was allowed. We usually stopped the fight as soon as the stronger opponet became evident. Outside of our club or sometimes fighting a classmate or neighborhood local no rules usually applied.

Knock out or tap out. All other endings are draws by definition.

Unless you mean making the other guy give up even though he has less damage than you’; I don’t agree with your statement.

That’s what I meant. Say the other guy hits you fifty times and you keep getting back up to fight. And then you hit him one time and he quits. You’ve won the fight.

It’s not about who can inflict the most damage; it’s about who can take the most damage.

the one that is still alive.

If you have to ask, you lost.

Do you have any clue what a shift key is?
(of course I mean zombie or no)

First one to die or get knocked out, loses.

I do not nor have I ever fought fair. I plan on keeping that up until I’m dead.

One on one, my favorite style is from behind with two .45’s.

So far, so good. I have never lost by any standard.