I really like the idea of [chicken/egg/tuna/shrimp/etc.] salad sandwiches, but every time I eat one, the innards all squeeze out the other side of the sandwich every time I take a bite.
Is there some secret method of making and/or eating a [chicken/egg/tuna/shrimp/etc.] salad sandwich so this doesn’t happen? What am I missing? Or is that just the way it is? Do I have to resort to pita bread?
Leave a frame of bread around the innards.
Use a soft white bread and hold the sandwich at the crust to help keep the edge closed.
Instead of making a sandwich with a top and bottom slice of bread, make two half-sandwiches each with a single slice of bread folded over.
Cut it diagonally into quarters and take big bites.
Seal it up in an old-fashioned sandwich iron. It’ll also be nice and toasty that way.
Instead of sliced bread, use a sub roll (or half of a sub roll); cut the roll in half, length-wise, then ‘hollow out’ most of the bread in the middle, leaving a firm crust and enough of the bread for substance/flavor. You will now have a reservoir in your sub roll. Fill it up with the salad of your choice (Mmmmmm, I love chicken salad, tuna salad, shrimp salad; I kinda have to be in the mood for egg salad). This tends to be neater than eating the salads on sliced bread.
Instead of sliced bread, hollow out a dinner roll and stuff with salad-sandwich filling of your choice.
I’m fairly sure this is a regional thing-- around here the best bread for that would be a bolillo. It’s very spongy, so it’s easy to stuff it with a meal’s worth of filling. We eat 'em for breakfast (eggs, beans, chorizo, tomatillo salsa) all the time. Yum. And leftovers for lonche [/spanglish] 
Stuff it in a turducken before slicing.
You can come up with all kinds of contrivances, but the fact is that sandwiches were never meant to have all the stuff that people put in them. It defeats the whole purpose, if you have to hollow out a bolillo, or press it in an iron, etc., and it especially defeats the purpose if you can’t eat a sandwich using only one hand without the filling spilling out all over you. You might as well just have a salad.
People all over the world have been stuffing things in variuos bread-like things in multitudes of ways. Who are you to say that none of these methods were meant to be?
I eat it with a side of chips, then use the chips to scoop up the remnants.
Hold it near the edges, keep the pressure on, and every so often turn it around long enough to eat a little of the filling that’s oozing out.
Don’t put so much salad in the sandwich. Or eat with crackers.
I’m saying that while those things were meant to be as surely as the sun rises in the east, a sandwich was meant to be eaten on-the-go, with one hand, and neatly, so that it doesn’t mess up your clothes–as surely as the sun sets in the west. 
And if you drive an automatic, you can eat on the road.
I should clarify. Put the salad on the crackers…don’t put crackers in a sandwich!
Clearly, you have never had a nice drippy peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich.
A good breakfast taco is the perfect car food.
I’m gonna go eat a cracker sandwich and then hang out in one of the low-carb threads.