How to Just Let Things Go?

I take some comfort in the fact that we are better people then them (we think of others AND we can read).

I really don’t know if I’m bothered by the fact that it makes thing a bit more difficult for me or if I have no idea if he does it on purpose or why he continues to do it. Part of me just wants to know WHY! I mean if he simply does it to make his life easier I can maybe accept that.

But yes, he needs to be treated just like any other inconvenience we city dwellars deal with.

But not spell. :stuck_out_tongue:


Plot revenge.

No, wait. Don’t do that.

It does sound like there is more to this story or there are other issues which are causing you to make a mountain out of a molehill. That said, if it’s true that he’s within his rights to park where he parks and refuses to compromise or even discuss the situation, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to flat-out ignore him. Pretend he doesn’t exist, and who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll move away.

There is a lot of back story but it boils down to them getting pissed at us for asking them to kindly give us more parking space only to have them react a few weeks later by accusing us of hitting their car complete with a follow up note calling us assholes and that karma is a bitch. That’s it. Now he parks in his space either on the line separating our spaces or totally into our space.

My anxiety and ocd often turn molehills into mountains.

I don’t know. Maybe there’s another thread somewhere with some guy complaining about his hyper-sensitive compulsive neighbor who comes over and yells at him every time his car is within 6 feet?

You laugh, but in college we did that to a car that parked in my fraternity’s spots. I won’t bore you with the backstory, but this red BMW was always illegally parked in our designated spots. So we took my shitbox Olds and another guy’s grey Chevy piece of crap and parked on each side, leaving about 2 inches of space so the BMW couldn’t open the doors.

Then we just left it there.

A few days later some guy sheepishly knocked on our door and asked if he could have his car back.

Or sometimes you don’t.

This sounds like 90 degree apartment parking, with maybe some difficulty with the turning arc needed to exit. Is that close? If he’s deliberately parking close to the line, he’s being a jerk. If he’s parking with a tire on a line, he’s parked illeagally because that puts the side of his car over the line. Not that he can be ticketed on private property.

With the rest of the things he’s done, he’s obviously putting effort into being a complete and total jerk. Sorry that you have to put up with it.

Well, if you were a dog, you could pee on his tire. Or a cat. Male cats mark tires, too. I don’t recommend it for humans although I’ve heard that thinking about it can be amusing.

Yep, he allows himself fifteen feet of open space to his left so he can just back out into the alley while sharply turning the wheel right. I however have to go through the routine of backing up, pulling forward a bit, backing up again blah blah blah before being able to get backed fully into the alley.

Is there a way to get some lines painted to mark your space with the necessary buffer?

Can’t read? Then maybe he can’t purchase surveillance equipment.

Buy a decent camera and record your car in its parking space. Scratch up your neighbor’s car. When you are confronted, deny everything, but finish with a strong, “if your worried about scratches so much then maybe you should not park your car so close to my car.”

Record the subsequent vandalism of your car and show the police. Then show the tape to small claims court along with the bill for damages.

How to deal with anger you ask? I read in a book that anger is an emotion that is triggered when you don’t get what you want. The more you feel like you must have something, the stronger your anger will be if you don’t get it. The solution to managing anger is to manage unrealistic notions of entitlement.

When you’re angry, think about what you’re not getting. Then think about whether you “must have” whatever it is you did not get. Your neighbor is not listening to your requests to park further away. Is it vital that he parks further away? It would be more helpful, but not vital, right? Is this in retaliation for your past actions? You don’t know if that’s true. He has another good reason for parking close, which you described. Does he have to reduce your anxiety over the risk of damage to your car if he parks too close? No. I do not think it’s his responsibility if you are too anxious about a perfectly legal situation.

Keep asking questions about what you believe you’re entitled to, or what your neighbor “should” be doing. Then question your answers to see if they are true or not. Question if anyone really “should” be behaving like you think they should.

I’ve heard using the mantra “serenity now!” works…

Remember the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know how to do what QuickSilver suggests.

Yes, that would get on my nerves as well. Do you drink coffee, tea, etc. or anything with caffeine? Caffeine can magnify problems, as it stimulates the nervous system. Speaking for myself, I am trying again (I have tried before unsuccessfully to cut out caffeine entirely), but hopefully this time I will have better results. I don’t really know what else to say, because I am in the same boat, as I have gripes with irritating people. Good Luck

I think it’s about feeling that you have no control. That’s a bad one if you are a bit OCD, as I am. So, you need to figure out a way to have control. When I was in therapy my therapist suggested that when I had something that was obsessing me, I write down my harshest complaint or whatever on a piece of paper and put it into a paper bag. She had me carry that bag around with me for a couple of weeks, and a notepad. At the end of that time I put the whole thing in the trash. After that the writing down and throwing away was done mentally but every so often I have something I can’t seem to get rid of and I write it down and wad up the paper and put it in the trash. Sounds really silly but for me it is very helpful.

I can certainly understand being upset. Your neighbor is being a jerk. But you can’t change him, so can you park on the street or something in order to just avoid it?

If not, here’s how I deal with situations like this. I imagine receiving bad news and then put things in perspective. That works well for me.

I was also wondering if you could move to a completely different parking space. My preference here would to just go someplace else entirely if it were possible.

I was recently involved in an accident where the other driver was completely in the wrong and is now, of course, blaming me. I’m thinking to get one of those dash-cams that look like a rear-view mirror. Some are motion activated, but they obviously can’t cover the whole area of the car (all 4 sides).

Whatever you do, do not drop a shrimp or fish filet into that guys hubcap!

So he’s got parking space that’s the width of his car, plus 15 feet, but you don’t have parking space that’s the width of your car plus 15 feet? I feel like I’m missing something here.

Move. Problem solved.

Did you literally ask her to “do something”? Or did you give specific suggestions? For example, ask her to switch your parking space with some other space. Or to switch his with some other spot. Or to move the line between your spaces over by three feet, since there seems to be some room. You could offer to buy the paint and paint the new line, maybe with some cross-hashes between the old and new lines.

Another thought would be to teach yourself how to park by backing into your spot. Then you can get into the driver-side door no matter how closely he parks.

The way it works out he has a space 20 feet wide. I park to his right and have a space 8 feet wide. He chooses to park as far over to the right as he can, often into my space. He is crowding me in my already tight space. There is no good reason for him to park so far over other than it makes it easy for him to back out.

My landlord is going to put a cone out and ask him to center his car. I suspect he will just move it.