Half? What are you, a piker? 
I dream every now and then that I’m moderating the SDMB. The nightmares involve trying to delete spam posts.
When your three year old recognizes the Dope’s banner, and runs around happily screaming that “Mommy loves Dope!!”
When you actually volunteer to be a moderator.
I’ve done that! Got me the funniest look…
Do you know how to get them onto your hard drive? Or are you asking how to upload them onto a hosting site?
I use Photobucket, but there’s lots of others. Picasa, Flickr…
I’m guilty of this one. If I’m feeling kind I’ll add a ‘please.’
Related to that, “I was talking to this friend of mine who’s from Sydney, well, he’s not really a friend in the traditional sense, I’ve never actually met him, but he’s an online friend, on this message board…”
I do this too, but I leave off the part where I start to sound like a crazy person. My meatspace friends all think that I’m the most connected and worldly guy around. I “know” people everywhere.
I’ve given up trying to explain it… I just say, “I was talking to this guy/gal…” My IRL friends look at me funny if I go into any real level of detail. They make fun of my “blog site”.
I don’t care who you are, that one’s funny!!!
For me, it’s reading a zombie thread without noticing, compose a response, and get to the exact same response I posted when the thread was new.
As for news, I read the Times on paper, but I figure that during the day anything important will show up here first.
From a similar thread in talk.origins, many years ago:
“When your wife says she loves you, you ask for a cite from a peer reviewed paper in a technical journal.”
Yeah, I tend to just say “my friend in [fill in the applicable city/country] told me…”. People seldom ask how I know all of these people.
Unless your friend resides in Obamalamadingdong; then it’s tough explainin’.
I saw Adrian Grenier on the beach this morning, helping out some kids with a beach clean up, and immediately thought- "Hey, I need to post that in the “Random Encounters” thread!
That’s started to be my answer as well. “Dopers say…” just leads to a lot of explaining, which nobody listens to anyway. I just say “I have friends everywhere” and let it go at that.
There was a board glitch a few days ago, and I was about to post a reply when I got the message that my IP had been banned.
The world grew dim and small and very, very terrible.
Also–
I have checked to see if my wedding ring fits in my nose. (It does.)
The only reason I haven’t is that I can’t the ring off and there’s too much finger in the way. It makes me sad.
When you say things in the form of “Ask the guy who ____”