To get a defective microphone to start working, curse into it.
To get the phone to ring, do something that either you can’t walk away from at a moment’s notice, or that makes your hands sticky. Changing a baby’s diaper is always good.
(Women) To bring on a late period, wear white.
Anything else?
If a bus is late arriving, light a cigarette. The bus will arrive within ten seconds.
Wash your car or water the lawn to make it rain.
To get the SDMB thread you clicked on to finally open, get up from your chair to get a drink.
[taken from tv and movies]
To find an axe murderer, enter a dark cellar at night.
To break into a sweat, enter a black southern baptist church.
To break into complex computer systems, make 3 guesses of the password.
To find the girl of your dreams, be sure to pick up the hooker with heart of gold, not the hooker with vial of crack.
To finally find that pin/pill/piece of broken glass you dropped last week, let a small child into the room. They are also good at discovering why the dog was looking so guilty when you got home last night.