How to properly use a bidet.

Okay, I searched the forums and found a many threads that mentioned bidets, but not much on actual technique.

I consider myself fairly well experienced in many things, but this has got me stumped. My wife’s parents have recently become somewhat wealthier than they used to be and are conducting extensive renovations to their home. They have recently remodeled their bathroom and the results are wonderful. One feature that my mother in law insisted upon is a bidet. Now, I understand what it is for, but I’m not clear on technique or etiquette.

[li]Okay, I’m a guy. How does a gentleman of the world use the bidet?[/li][li]My wife is a gal. How does this technique differ for her?[/li][li]I’ve always believed that no job worth doing is complete until the paperwork is done. Does the bidet make traditional paperwork obsolete?[/li][li]After the wash, how does one dry? My mother-in-law says that two towels will be hanging on a nearby cabinet. This has filled my wife and me with horror.[/li][li]My MIL has also said that the bidet makes an excellent foot bath. Is this a typical use for this device?[/li][/ol]

So, there you have it. I bidet has entered our lives and I am at a loss as to what to do with it. Generally, I suspect that I will ignore it. I’ve lived this long without one. I see no reason to change. However, if this is truly a wonderful experience, I’m all for giving it a try. I suspect I will make a complete mess.

I hope that all you sophisticated bidet devotees have now had a nice laugh and will lend me your expertise in this area. Thank you for your help.

I’ve never used a bidet either, but if I had to guess, I would say that it’s meant to be used the same way a lota is, i.e. apply water to backside and use hand to scrub off fecal matter, dry with towel. The only difference is that rather than pouring the water from above, it’s being delivered from below.

I’ve never used a bidet, but generally the water power is enough to clean out the fecal matter without hand usage. The towel is merely used to dry oneself. I wouldn’t mind having a bidet myself, but I don’t live in a home I can renovate. They are definitely one of the most environmentally friendly solutions available.


What?! They told me that was a water fountain!

Anyhoo, some high-end bidet models also have hot-air dryers attached, elminating (heh) the need for towels.

FYI - For some reason I always assumed that a bidet operates with warm water. In my one brief experience, this was not the case.

Ahh lovely so you can sit there for half an hour drying your ass like you do your hands at a hand drier, except in this case you might not want to wipe your ass on your shirt to get the job done quicker.



Press button, receive bacon–up the ass!

The bidet is not meant to take the place of toilet paper. You wipe just like you always do while you’re on the toilet; then you sit or hover over the bidet and use the water to further cleanse yourself.

And oh my god, you don’t use your hand! You let the water spray up, then you take a towel and dry off. Then you dispose of the towel or put it in the laundry. They aren’t meant to be shared with other people.

I have had several buddies in my past with bidets, and they always set out a selection of paper ‘fancy hand towels’ for people to use after using the bidet.

Personally, I would love a source for the chemwipes I used to be able to get through one of my prefious jobs…they were funky, had a sort of internal mesh and didnt instantly dissolve when used.

I suppose in lieu of the fancy paper hand towels, you could just have a roll of brawney in the bathroom near the bidet [or some other paper towel that is sturdy enough not to dissolve quickly]

Oh oh, you said the “lieu” word.

In the European hotels I’ve stayed in with bidets, they always had a little white towel next to it for drying presumably, but the thought of that just grosses me out.

I have a bidet, and it may not be “correct”, but here’s how I do it.

Use toilet as usual.

Wipe, but don’t need to do a perfect job, just generally clean.

Sit on bidet and use water spray, adjusting temerature as desired.

Wipe with TP, which is disposed of in the toilet.

Since no one’s poste this yet:

Wikipedia entry for bidet:

Not to mention the SDMB entry:

And the Epinions entry:

Gee, I can’t wait to walk into a bathroom full of warm air blown past someone’s ass.

Bidet?!? I thought you said bubbler!

“You are about to put your face… into a place… that was never designed for your face.” -Bill Cosby

As a young lad of ten on family vacation to Greece, I found that the bidet was great fro washing sand off my feet after the walk up from the beach. The stream of water worked well for washing the grit off feet. Thirty-six years later, as age has impacted the digestion and the muscle tightness, I have thought that a bidet would be nice to include in a future renovation project.

I too am interested in the discussion about the proper use. If it was in my own bathroom, I would willingly use my regular bath towel as it has already been used on the backside. (I know there are some who use a towel only once before washing it, but over the years I’ve gone with multiple uses.) However, for a guest situation, I would go with using toilet paper to dry, or having the host keep out a set of hand cloths for the purpose. In one bathroom we have mimicked a situation we saw in a fancy restaurant. We have a basket full of white wash cloths/face cloths to dry hands with and an empty basket on the floor for disposal awaiting the washing machine.

I think I’d have to question the wisdom of running a bunch of air over one’s anus. What if it makes that same noise as when you blow over the top of a Coke bottle?