Exactly. The same response could be given for “How was your weekend?” or “What’s your favorite color?” It’s not a meaningful explanation for why the question is taken as rude.
I doubt that, but if it is, why not just go find out if it’s so important to you?
I have several works of art in my house that I will wager you $10,000 that you cannot find out what I paid for them.
It’s rude because it is none of your business. It really is that simple. Personal information is not something you are owed upon demand. What is your yearly salary? Your wife’s? How much money did you donate to charity last year? To what causes? How much do you spend a year on liquor?
It may be cultural, but I cannot imagine asking someone I have just met what they paid for one of their possessions. Or for anything that can’t easily be looked up on the internet. (New tool, IPhone, lawnmower, etc.)
It’s not horrible, however, to ask such a question so I can’t really answer that part.
You seriously don’t know what that means?
Who said there was?
Any personal question is none of your business if I deem it so. Who else can say what part of my life you have standing to question but me?
You’re kidding, right?
That remains a fatuous response and an evasive one, Do you get equally upset if someone asks you what you had for lunch?
What I’m trying to get at is why the question makes you uncomfortable.
To make an overt display of difference in class in our society is considered crass. So is bragging about your possessions. So is acting like the only reason something is good, is because it cost a lot of money.
When someone asks how expensive something is, and it happens to be quite valuable, answering without triggering any of these social no-nos is difficult, yet brushing off the question is also rude.
it is rude to put another person you don’t know well in such an awkward spot.
Of course not. I really don’t get it. I’ve never in my life been upset by somebody asking me how much something cost me. Why would I?
You may consider those to be personal questions. I don’t.
I think it is very similar. In this thread, TruCelt said it best, and has now pointed back to one of the relevant posts. Why don’t you read what’s already been said?
There are times when it is rude to ask about the price of an object because to do so would invite uncomfortable social comparisons or judgement.
For example, if somebody obviously a lot poorer than you asks about an expensive object, you will be put in the uncomfortable position of admitting you spent money that that person could probably desperately use on necessities to buy non-essential items. Likewise, if someone much ricer than you asks the price of something, you may end up embarrassed that you cannot afford to buy more expensive items. Asking the price of something can be very rude when it is meant to make a critical point, e.g. that you spend money frivolously, that you buy cheap junk, or that you are living above your means. Some of these things are fairly culture-specific- in America we go to great and sometimes absurd lengths to pretend like class does not exist.
However, I don’t think the people asking questions in this particular situation fall into any of these categories. I think they are genuine curiosity,
You’re reading an awful lot into a simple question that may or may not have anything to do with “class.” If I see a friend has just bought a new guitar amp, and I’ve been considering getting something similar. Is it really a big deal to ask how much he paid for it? What’s “awkward” about it?
Incidentally, if you have something out on display, you’re already bragging about it.
Of course they’re personal questions. You’re asking for information (albeit trivial) about what the person has done or thought. Asking the price of something is not personal at all. How much a thing costs reveals nothing about the individual who bought it.
if you’re bragging about it at all, you’re not bragging about its cost.
Rules of Etiquette do not apply between friends anyway. They apply to strangers and people you do not know well enough to judge their responses.
As I said in my post 57, the question is rude because it puts a person you hardly know in the delicate position of either insulting you by answering or insulting you by not answering.
“What did that cost you?”
“A warrant for breaking and entering.”
Probably nothing, since I assume you guys are both musicians and talk about his kind of stuff all the time. The OP is talking about strangers, or first time acquaintances, not friends, so there really is no comparison.
Nuh uh.
I’m glad I don’t live in your world. Seriously. How I spend my money isn’t personal, but my favorite color is? What does that reveal about me?
It reveals what your favorite color is. How much an iPhone is going for at Best Buy reveals nothing.
I’ve already pointed out that I don’t consider that to be personal.
So, what’s your salary again?
I was going to try to answer your question, but I think you hit the nail on the head right there. It would seem that a lot of people put a lot of energy around their posessions and the social class that puts them in. It seems like you don’t, and neither do I, which is why I kind of don’t get it either. To me my stuff is just stuff.
I’ll just accept that some people have make those connections, and respect their sensibilities, even if it leaves me scratching my head.
Thank you, Contrapuntal. Dio obviously doesn’t get it. I am self-employed and rarely have people in my home. The art I own is for me and my own pleasure.
Some women buy shoes and some buy handbags. I buy art. I’ve talked about it in this thread; going to a museum or gallery is like going to church for me and lifts my spirit like nothing else. For someone like me, owning and living with art is a necessity - not for bragging rights.
How much money do you make a year?