FWIW I find it a little insulting and I’m one of those who would pray for you; say if you were ill or facing some crises in your life. But over a political view? That’s like saying (in a serious fashion instead of joking manner) “I hate the football team you like so I’ll pray for you”. I think I would have to respond in some way to show that I think invoking God in this manner is insulting to me and Him as well.
This all reminds me of the scene from Moneyball:
Player: “… And I wanna let you know I’m gonna be praying for you and your family.”
Billy Beane: “No problem.”
Can this post please please please be stickied and then PMed to every single member of this board under the title of “how to not be a dick”.
Then, once that’s done, can it be mailed to every person in the world (accurately translated into their native language of course).
This post is perfect in every way.
I agree with saying ‘Thank you’. There’s not much point in doing anything else.
Oh, exactly! When I was agnostic, I felt like that all the time. It really sucks to not know what to say when there’s literally nothing else you can do. And you are right… believing the best of others and trying to grease the wheels of communication goes a long way, in my opinion.
I think I see where I screwed the pooch here, now that you’ve bolder the pertinent part. If someone knows you’re an atheist with a capital A, then it would be beyond rude to insist. I try to be so respectful of others’ beliefs (or lack thereof) that I hope I’d never make that mistake. But, I also know how scatterbrained I can be, so I pray 
that never happens.
I will reiterate though, ever praying to change someone’s stance on things is beyond the pale. That is indeed a case of “my way is better than yours” and, for me, that shit don’t fly. If I were in the OP’s shoes, I’d definitely let them know in a subtle way that I thought that was bunk.
In situations like the OP described, where I can only hear that as “I believe you’re morally wrong for what you’re saying”, my only response is “no thank you” and walking away.
In a case where, say, I was ill and someone said they would pray for me, the only response there is “thank you”.
I’m not rude in the first case (though the speaker very much is, IMO), but I also don’t want prayers that I’ll change my mind about things that I don’t think are wrong.
“Militant atheist” is an odd term, isn’t it? For a Christian to be considered militant, they have to do something like shoot up an abortion clinic. For a Muslim to be considered militant, they have kill a bunch of people and possibly themselves in the process. For an atheist to be considered militant, they have to be impolite.
As for the OP’s response, it of course depends on how rude the other person is being. Possible replies could be, “Uh, thanks, I guess.”, “Don’t be tacky.”, “You think that’ll work?”, or “What’s the point of praying to a supposedly all-knowing god, anyway?”
In general if somebody says ‘I’ll pray for you’ about something unambiguously bad (that’s happened to you etc), you’re just being a jerk for thinking of ways to insult them in return. The minimally civil response is a non-sarcastic ‘thank you’.
If they are doing it as a kind of put down the solution depends on how that situation arose. If you’re choosing to talk politics with people and you get a response like that as a put down of your politics, how about don’t talk politics with those people?
Although IMO that kind of passive-aggressive technique, which is what it is in that case, is still preferable to the usual internet world response to people who disagree on politics (‘you’re a nazi, moron’, etc).
The double-standard drives me crazy. And atheists don’t even have to be impolite to be called militant. Just try to remove prayer from any government-sponsored/taxpayer funded event - you’re militant. Don’t want kids getting bibles at school - militant. Dare to share any negative opinion about God or dominant-religion - militant.
Sometimes, it seems like the only way an atheist doesn’t get called “militant” if is they do everything they can to make sure to never say they are an atheist or why unless specifically asked. While the religious may of course offer prayers, talk about church, say how wonderful God is and talk about their beliefs in casual conversation, and vote and campaign for leaders who swear to bring God back to government, without being considered militant.
Thanks for all the discussion, folks.
I agree that the best idea is probably to ignore it, but I’m not sure I’m that mature or magnanimous.
These are people who are not really friends - just acquaintances I see regularly at the gym. I’m don’t want to become enemies with them, but I’m not concerned if they never talk to me again. I suppose I should get some satisfaction out of being “the bigger man,” but on the other hand, I really find this behavior offensive, and like “someone is wrong on the Internet,” I’m loathe to let it go.
This is succinct and perfect. Excellent reply to invasive rudeness.
I’m both Christian and fairly conservative, and that would absolutely incense me if someone said that to me in the context of a political discussion. I’d probably respond with something hostile and profane if someone were to say that to me at the end of a political discussion.
You are absolutely right to be offended- that IS offensive. If say… you’d said “I have a spot on my neck that may be cancerous and I’m going in for a biopsy.” and they said “I’ll pray for you.” that’s one thing- it’s essentially beseeching the Almighty on your behalf; trying to help you out in a sense.
But if they’re saying it like that, it’s extraordinarily condescending and insulting. It’s an implication that you’re both wrong in a secular/political sense, AND that there is something fundamentally morally corrupt about disagreeing with what they say. Essentially that you’re so wrong, that they’ll beg God to change you for your own sake.
Judge not, etc… , indeed. This crowd doesn’t seem to get it at all.
I think it was the late 70s, or maybe shortly thereafter, someone performed an experiment concerning prayer. They selected a number of “prayer warriors” to do the praying, and selected persons in hospitals to pray for. They told half of the patients that they were being prayed for; the rest did not receive that information.
At the conclusion of the experiment, they discovered that telling patients that someone was praying for their healing fared much worse than those who were not informed.
So, I believe the correct response is, “No! You just ruined it by telling me!”
I’ve heard that before, but never seen the actual name of the study, so have never really looked into the details to see if true or how the study was designed or anything.
Actually, going off on a tangent, the entire concept of “prayer warriors” bothers me, even if God is real. Not that they pray, if prayer has a positive effect (that’s logical and reasonable), but that an omniscient and omnipotent (those usually are ascribed to the Christian God today) would respond to the strength or number of prayers. Because that means the the wealthy (who can reach many people to ask for prayers) of well-liked (people will respond to request) get more help from God than the abused child locked up in the parents’ home that no one knows exists or the poor child in a rural area of a developing country who only knows a couple hundred people. It fits in well for a Prosperity Gospel loop, though.
Personally I take it as someone is saying that because they care about me. And in the same vein I tell them that later that night when I am worshipping Satan I’ll ask that when Satan goes to murder their family he does it gently.
Agreed. And I have no problem with telling them that to their face. But the way I phrase it when they say they are praying for me is to ask them to include extra sauce and meatballs in the prayers. FSM does dearly love them so.
“What a coincidence! I will be working on my mind control device. Let us see which of us gets results first.”
And what does one have to do to be considered a militant feminist? You’d almost think the term had different meanings in different contexts. What will they think of next?
Oh, my goodness, you didn’t screw the pooch with me. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, and even if you knew me a little and offered your prayers, I’d reply with a genuine smile for your good wishes and simply thank you for your prayers. I may feel a bit dismayed at your assumption that I am religious, because my upbringing required me to keep such things private in the name of good manners and I wish everyone felt that way… but you’d never know these thoughts might pass through my brain.
I have a couple of family members and one or two friends who are highly devoted to their religious beliefs. They have asked and I have responded about my own non-belief, so our difference in lifestyle credos is well known between us. That’s all fine. But when they then make a deliberate statement that they will pray for me – and I’m talking about a circumstance where they’ve obviously considered my views and have chosen to ignore them, rather than just a slip of their vernacular – then I will respond in a way that is equally dismissive of their views. That’s really it.
But that’s not what the OP asked. He asked for ways to deal with people who were offering to pray for him in a casual setting after a spirited political discussion. I, too, would consider that offensive and I just gave him my best strategy.
People who use their belief or non-belief as a weapon are always irritating.
Actually, the three churches in the Catholic communion of saints are
The Church Militant - those struggling as soldiers of Christ* against sin and evil
The Church Penitent - those in Purgatory
The Church Triumphant - those in heaven
- “The term militant (Latin: militans) has a primary meaning of “being a soldier, performing military service”, but it acquired a secondary meaning of “serving, performing service, laboring”, with its root milito coming to mean “soldier of Christ or God” in Medieval Latin usage. The members of the Church Militant, i.e. those Christians on earth, are engaged in spiritual warfare against sin in order that, when they die, they might enter heaven and join the Church Triumphant.”