My first neighbour is a nice person. We’re not close, but we will always engage in a little bit of small talk about things, weather, our families even. He’s an elderly man who appears to be in good shape. I’m 43, he’s about 70.
Today I saw him on crutches, his old lady helping him get into the house. His right leg was missing from the half-calf. Bandages looked fresh. Accident? Medical reasons? I don’t know.
What can I say to him? “Hi, how are you?” seems inappropriate. Pretending like nothing happened? Shouting “Oh Christ, what happened to you?” Go for a childlike curiosity: “That must feel weird, does it not?”
I don’t know. Frankly, I avoided the contact and walked around the block. It seemed like I would be interrupting his very private moment while he was entering his house. He looked so fragile and even embarrassed. How to behave?
“Hello, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having some medical problems. I hope things are getting better for you at this point. Do you need help with, I dunno, getting groceries?”
Of course, I work at a grocery store so picking some stuff up for a neighbor would be really easy for me. Don’t make an offer of help you aren’t willing to actually do.
After that - it’s up to the person. If they don’t feel up to talking just wish them well and move on. If they want to talk about the weather, engage in small talk, etc. do that. If they make a crash joke about their missing body part, laugh. (Don’t you make the jokes - wait on that.) Don’t overstay your welcome during the recovery phase, they’ll need their rest.