I have been reading a lot. I work a part time job and there is a nice co-worker and she reads a lot. She likes to “share” her books with me. OK she’s trying to be nice but her books suck.
Well they don’t suck but I don’t like them. For example she loved “The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo.” I read it and it is horrible. It’s long, it’s too detailed, it’s boring.
I don’t understand why it’s considered so good. But if you like it fine, everyone has taste. And that’s just one example. She loves to read and obviously is trying to be nice and share her love of reading with me, but I want to go to the library and pick my own books out.
If I had money I’d get an e-reader just to prevent her from giving me the books she buys to read.
So how do you nicely tell someone, thanks for the books suggestions but basically our tastes differ too much.
Yowza! What a vexing dilemma! If only you could say something like, “Sarah, it sounds like a fun read, but there are a few books on my list that I hope to get through this summer. If I borrowed your book, I don’t know when I’d get to it! I’d hate to lose track of it or anything. Can I get back to you on it?” (and then never bring it up).
Or, “Sounds like a neat read.” Then leave it in your car for three weeks and return it to her unread. “What a gripping novel that was!”
I would take a tack along the lines of ‘Thanks so much for thinking of me, by my reading backlog is already so long I can’t imagine where I’d fit it in!’
I like the ‘Thanks, but my reading list is already a mile long, I don’t want to add to it right now’ response. Your coworker is probably doing this in an attempt to be friendly - it may soften the blow (so to speak) if you can find other mutual interests to discuss.
Tell her about the books you liked & offer to share one. She might be continuing to try in order to get you to reciprocate maybe?
Or, be honest but tactful, and instead of saying it sucked, say it wasn’t the kind of thing you enjoy to read, but you really appreciated the thought. Then explain to her what you like and maybe she’ll start recommending books you actually do like =D
In my case, I always ask people what they like to get an idea of what to recommend. Blind recommending is rarely successful, especially with people who don’t like everything super popular (which you already fall into by not liking that Stieg Larssen book. I didn’t like it either. But we seem to be the minority!)
“No thanks; I just discovered Twitter and now I don’t have any free time for anything else.”
…I really don’t have anything else to add, because if it were me, I’d probably just take the approach of saying “no thanks, I’m not really interested. Why? Because it doesn’t sound like I’d like it, that’s why.” I’m not really a nice person.
I certainly woudn’t borrow the book, not read it, and then lie about it. That’s just begging for trouble!
Maybe she thinks, from her experience conversing with you or watching you work, that you’re a narrow minded provincial oaf whose mind needs expansion and improvement.
So ask her, “Do you think I’n a narrow minded provincial oaf whose mind needs expansion and improvement?”
I had a very nice boss who was into science fiction and fantasy, as am I. He’d been reading a new series (new for him, that is) and loved it; he offered to loan me the first book, as the name wasn’t familiar.
Turns out I’d read it and hated it; I hadn’t recognized the name because I’d read it in English and the Spanish name is unrelated (the boss had the Spanish version). Once I recognized it after checking out the information on the cover and reading the first page, I handed it back to him saying “ah, thanks, I’ve actually read it and it’s not really my style”. We talked about it for a while, I explained I like more “direct” writing and refrained from giving a more explicit explanation, and we went our merry ways.
We later shared other books which were better received, but I knew he liked them convoluted and he knew if I want unclear speeches, I call my mother.
The book in question was the first one of the Hyperion series - it’s won a bunch of awards but I just can’t stand it.
Since your question is well answered upthread, let me do a small hijack and say what heartfelt agreement I have with the part of your statement that I’ve bolded. My bookclub read this book, and since I couldn’t attend the meeting, I wrote an e-mail to share at the gathering: