Presented as a public service.
Now you can be sure.
Sounds to me like space aliens make the best hookers!
Nope. They “don’t like having their butts touched,” according to the article. That’s a deal-breaker right there.
I grew kinda partial to one once but just couldn’t get past her impact craters. I know . . . superficial.
Where’s the fun in that?
“Cheese it, the fuzz”!
hahahahaha ha ha haha
I thought it was the john who normally has the weird requests.
And reason #1:
It’s not just their card that’s green.
In Soviet Russia, alien hookers use ananl probes on you.
Vague, unplaceable accent. Claims to be from “the Midwest.”
Is everyone from Iowa an alien, or just the hookers?
It’s worse than you thought, kunilou. Everyone from Iowa is a hooker.
[Dudley Moore]
You mean you’re a penis husker?
[/Dudley Moore]
“Here, from government experts, are 10 warning signs that the prostitute you’ve picked up is a sinister space babe”
Well, I’m glad government experts are doing something worthwhile.
Yeah, but Earth Girls are easy.
Oh, and “Cheese it, the Fuzz” sounds like something Rue DeDay would have one of his characters say.
I especially like this quote:
"Odd, hard-to-place accent. “They have trouble pronouncing the letter ‘R,’ " Manling reveals.”
Who is Manling? The article doesn’t state. Kevin Manling? Second cousin to Kang and Kodos? Nothing like throwing in a quote from the ‘source’ for the article.
Slee
HOLY SHIT!
Counting up now, it seems that I’ve fucked about fourteen aliens… actually… we should invade the aliens’ planet and take all of their prostitutes! That would rule… if we could get rid of that no-ass-touching thing.
mmmm… alien sex orgy…
Ahh, but is your Stepmother an Alien?
Man, yesterday it was Japanese Tentacle Robots, and today it’s Alien Hookers.
What next?
How to Tell if a Hooker is an Alien:
1.) Her tongue bites yours
2.) When her finger touches your circumcized penis, it suddenlt isn’t anymore.
3.) Her third nipple wraps around your penis
4.) You notice that she put on her skin suit backwards and has two pinkies where her thumbs should be.
5.) Her robot haperone starts disintegrating your door with blasts of his eye-beams.
6.) She turns down an offer of champagne and insists on a glass of sour milk.
7.) She explains that her ears are that way because she got her head caght in an automatic rice-picker.
8.) She asks you to put a seed pod under the bed “just for tonight”.
9.) Her tongue shoots out, wraps around your neck, and pulls you into her burgeoning cleavage.
10.) She’s mortally afraid of Germs.
- She grows a backup vaginal orifice during the act.
Also, I dig CalMeacham’s sig.
Fine, I’ll say it:
I, for one, welcome our alien hooker overlords.
Mine isn’t even green.