How to write an annoying post

The BBQ Pit
1

  1. Point out a hilarious BAND NAME that you’ve just discovered. And make sure to use all caps when you yell out that it’s a BAND NAME, in case someone might miss that it’s a BAND NAME. Yeah.

  2. Use the word “snarky” or any of its derivatives (snarkiness, snarkishness, snarkified, etc.). Really now, it ain’t that cute anymore.

  3. Say “Hi Opal!” in some stupid list you’re writing.

  4. Make a cornball joke and then, two lines down, add “D & R” before you actually D & R.

  5. Reply to your own post to correct a typo. Believe it or not, no one really cares that you caught your own typo.

  6. In a Pit rant in which the OP states “I hate it when people do XYZ,” post a reply in which you deliberately do XYZ – and make sure to put a big toothy :smiley: after it. It’s been done a million and one times already.

  7. Write a Pit rant about shit that’s probably been covered to death already. And because you’re in the Pit, make a point of pointing out that you’re now going to insert the word “fuck.”

  8. Whine about trifling things other posters do that annoy you. (Especially when you hardly post anything yourself.)

  9. Poke fun at the content of your own post, so that you can pretend it wasn’t meant to be taken all that seriously in the first place.

  10. Post some meaningless reply to an OP just because you want to be the first person to get a reply in the thread. Get a life, already.

:stuck_out_tongue:

2
  1. Make a 10 point list of things that annoy you. Apply it to all posts and posters.
3

Make a list with only one item, and number that item with a number 1.

4

… add to your own list, in an attempt to make a witty retort, and forget to number it consecutively with the rest of the items on your list…

Another junior mod in the making.

5

Well, i s’pose it depends on how you define “hardly post,” but the OP has been a member since 5 August 1999 and has made 313 posts, or 0.25 per day.

Either this whole thread is a big whoosh, or mikan needs to take his own advice and not “Whine about trifling things other posters do that annoy you.”

6

Gee, Mikan, I can’t help noticing that your OP basically describes this entire message board, all 30,300 members, 152,700 threads, and 2,797,784 posts of it.

Practically every time you open a thread you must get slapped right in the face with one of your 11 pet peeves. Posting here must be really hellish for you, I marvel that you stick with it.

7

For what it’s worth, I got it mikan. And laughed.

8

How annoying…

9

Hi.

10

That was really annoying Brian.

11

Hmmph. Someone presumes to tell me how to make an annoying post?

12

Well I liked it, mikan. Here are my additions:

  1. Start a NEW pit thread to respond to an already existing pit thread. Call the person a fuckhat in the thread title so everyone can see it.

  2. Underline things that are not links

  3. If anyone complains about x happening when they do y, make comment like: “What do you expect when you do y?”

13

Here’s an idea…writing a post in silver…Plus, this has been done before, so it’s two birds killed with one stone! I also used a saying that is potentially offensive to the animal welfare lobby, which is surely good for another point…

14

Not half as annoying as this.

15

  1. The smilie inserted after a sequence of offensive rants, which utterly fails to defuse hostility amongst followup posters, followed by an aggrieved self-justification based on the fact that one has used a smilie and is not to be blamed.

  2. Not paying attention to the numbering system.

16

Oh, there are only 10 words needed:

“The phrase “Jump the shark” has “jumped the shark!” Hahaa!”

17

j00 h4v3 n07 l1573d 7h3 //\057 a||||0y1ng p0573r, 7h3 l337 h4x0r! l0l l0l l0l r0fl!

||0w j00 r 0//nz0r3d!!!

18

(quotes previous post, in silver, inside a huge spoiler box, and adds “Me too!”)

19

Righto! In fact, even when I happen to agree 100% with a poster, a smilie makes me a little bit hostile. So…

26½. Use lots of smilies. Plus make two points in the same line that really don’t have anything to do with each other. Plus pretend that you’re being clever by using unreal numbers as ordinals. (Like that hasn’t been done to death.)

20

26¾. Post a vapid one-liner and tease everyone by leaving about fifty blank lines above it, as if that were to mimic leading them into a hilarious joke you were telling.

  1. Get a huge signature line containing several paragraphs from several of your favorite books, TV shows and bus schedules.

33 1/3. Make sure you never post anything longer than your signature.