I like the way this thread started as a semi-serious discussion, and has now risen from the dead as a series of quips.
I’d use eye glasses ala Godfather III.
I would clone Him and then set the two of Them against each other.
Since neither could be killed, they would be in an endless battle and the rest of the world would go on.
If you are a Michael Moorcock fan just send Rhyn and Kwll
So you’re the bastard who prevented Tinker Bell from coming back to life in the off-Broadway play I saw in my childhood! You couldn’t make the kids happy and go along with the crowd, could you? Noooo, that would violate your principles. As if elementary-aged kids gave a hot patoot about your hand-stabbing non-belief!
I’d simply totally destroy God through the Family Court system for 2000 years interest on top of the maintenance he should have paid Mary.
Furthermore, I’d have him finally admit to slipping her Rohypnol and promising her a ring. That it would be around her head was clearly not part of the deal.
To show that God is indeed a date rapist and a liar would surely kill him (or Him, whichever the case may be).