If I ever ended up working at say… Disney World. First I’d turn my Mickey head backwards and run at people. Just because.
Choose an obscure job, then tell me what you’d do before quitting.
Of course, this is only a what if, please nobody go get fired by any of these methods.
I’d be an estate lawyer. And if I was going to quit my job . . .
I’d go willingly.
Get a job at an aquarium then one day walk in with rod, tackle box and really obnoxious waders on.
If I were an orderly at a nursing home…
…I’d show up for work one day dressed as the Reaper and wander the halls pointing at some of the residents.
I’d have to get a job as an anonymous office temp or something…
Then come in someday dressed in a football uniform and pads and do my best “Terry Tate, Office Linebacker” imitation. 
If I were a video store clerk…
I’d emulate Randall from Clerks until I was fired
whistlepig, I am so with you there. I would personally quit my hypothetical job as a taxidermist by telling my boss to stuff his job.
If I were a clothing store salesperson, I’d wait until a customer came in and asked me a question, like “Can I try these on?”
I’d say, “No.”
The customer would likely respond with “Ummm… are you sure?”
I would then say “No. No. Nononononononono!” and I’d start to dance around them, waving my hands in the air and twirling about, singing merrily, “No, no, no-no-no! No no no, no no no, No no no-no no-no-no, no no no, no no no!” I would continue to dance and sing the No Song until they left.
If that didn’t get me shitcanned, I would await the next customer and the walk up to them and start acting like an angry parrot, bobbing up and down and pacing about them, preening my hair and spreading my arms to try to look bigger, making weird faces and screeching until they left. That should do it.
I would work in a Halloween store and come in wearing Brooks Brothers. And act like I meant it.
If I wanted to quit my job as a minister, I’d start trying to convert people to random beliefs. I’d probably even use Rev. Lovejoy’s line: “Have you thought of joining one of the other major religions? They’re pretty much all the same.”
Either that or I’d just start making up vows for the wedding ceremonies.
McD drone.
customer:" 3 large quarter pounder meals"
me:“we don’t sell hats here” (walk away)
next customer: “a mc-chicken sandwich meal please”
me:“if you’d like to follow me to the pen, you can choose which chicken to have in your sandwich”
customer 3: “a big-mac please”
me: “I do apologise sir, I am afraid I don’t speak a word of English”
customer 4:" I would like a big-mac meal and a happy meal"
me:“can I eat your car?”
me and a friend are planning to quit…
me on the pa system: “boss. I’ve dropped all the frozen burgers in that sewage overflow we had this morning”
friend (pretending to be boss): “shit. oh well, the lardarse customers won’t notice. pick them out and wipe them off. we’ll use them”
me:“ok”.
friend: “oh shit. the pa is on”
I would work the drive-thru at a fast food joint and heckle the customers.
“Don’t you think you need to lay off the super sizing, sir?”
“Didn’t want tomatoes? Pick them off!”
“Welcome to Wendy’s, how may I screw up your order today?”
(Talking to obviously married man with his wife): “Why haven’t you called me?” sniff sniff
If I was the foreman of a traffic light manufacturing plant, I’d start slowing down on the job for a week, and then just stop coming to work altogether.
If I were the captain of a missile sub, I’d carve my initials into Austrailia with MIRVs. (Fig. A)
Or, if I worked in a wax museum, I’d put on a suit and tie, and plant myself among the Hall of Presidents, waiting to see if anyone notices.
As a soccer goalie during the World Championships finals:
“You´re all stupid! I´m taking my ball and going home!”
As a simultaneous interpreter at the UN:
Misinterpret the speaker, preferrably telling an embarrassing story in such a convincing way that the delegates think he´s actually saying it. If that fails, start singing. Or reciting nursery rhymes.
You know dude, if you actually did that, you would wipe out a few billion blowies but not many humans. There’s no-one living in those bits.
If I worked at Apple Computer, I’d take that Jobs and shove it.
