Have you ever worked a job that you hated down to the marrow of your bones? Did you spend time fantasizing about what you would do when you finally quit? Please, share your dreams! 
Mods: If this subject has been covered recently, please close this thread and except my humble apologies.
Not exactly, but I recently had a long layoff and one of the places I applied to had an absurdly complicated application process that included gathering transcripts (I completed my last degree 15 years ago), actual written letters of recommendation, a long application form and a longer questionnaire. When I passed that hurdle I had to go there and take a test on a computer program I’ve been using since I was an undergrad, then submit to a group interview where I was told at the end that I was “not allowed” to contact anyone at the place to find out what the status of the position was–they would call me. Note that they had posted their ad in September, I wasn’t called for an interview until Thanksgiving week, and then after the interview heard nothing until the end of January. It was with great pleasure that I was able to inform the person calling me in for yet another interview that I had already accepted a new position.
She actually seemed surprised.
I lived it once. I used to place temps and at my last job in the industry I told my boss, “I hate the temps, I hate the clients and I hate you.”
I didn’t get thrown out on my ass and she tried to talk me into staying.
All I can come up with are petty passive aggressive acts:
On my last day, come in early and take the sacks of dead mice out of our freezer. Hide these sacks in random places, especially around the offices of the Big Wigs.
Change the lab phone voice mail to say “You have reached Hell. Please leave a message after your soul has been removed and shredded.”
Right now, I have the worst job I’ve every had in my professional life. My coworkers are petty and snarky. My “team lead” is a micromanaging shrew. I’m constantly harrassed, harrangued, and browbeaten. I posted about this job in this thread here. A year from now, I’ll have finished my business degree, and I’ll get the fuck out of here (if I last that long).
My leaving fantasy is: Instead of a letter or resignation, I print out the lyrics of Led Zepplin’s Ramble On and handing it to my boss without a word. It’s not the most spectacular flame-out, but my boss is a humourless twat, and I think this would confuse and trouble him greatly.
Or, ranging from a “maybe I’ll actually do that scenario” to “not in a million years”…
I go into his office, shit on his desk, and wipe my ass with my resignation letter…
Oh, yeah, had the fantasy, didn’t get to live it. I worked in an outsource call center for 7 years; it was a tradition there that if, on your last day of work, you got a really nasty customer, it was your one chance to tell the customer to stick it. It was called a “walkout call” – a call so ugly you just dumped the call and walked out. To really pull it off, you pretty much had to have your cube cleaned out so you could hit the “Log Out” button and walk out the door. In the time I was there, I knew only two or three folks who got to do it. The only down side was that you couldn’t apply again, since you’d technically walked out in mid-shift.
On my last day, all of my calls in the morning were really good, short, pleasant calls. When I logged out for lunch, my supervisor handed me my paycheck, complete with all the vacation pay, and they paid me for the rest of the shift. I’ve always suspected it was a way of making sure I didn’t get that “walkout call.” I’ve never considered going back, but in retrospect my employer was one of the best I’ve ever worked for, so I’m glad I didn’t burn that bridge.
I’ve always had the fantasy of winning a very large lottery jackpot and then work for 51 weeks before claiming it. I wouldn’t say a word about winning it. I would just not show up at work one day and image my boss’s expression when she realized I had won the lottery almost a year ago and never said anything about it.
This thread makes me laugh. It reminds me of one time when I told my boss to “Fuck off! You can fire me if you want to; I’m going home!!”
Said boss stopped me before I could get to the door. He apologized for pushing my buttons and basically talked me in to not going home.
I should have been fired. I’m quite lucky they didn’t do so. (Whew)
Interesting.
What kind of satisfaction do you think you would get by working there almost a full year before saying anything?
I’m genuinely curious. I’m not trying to come off as a smart ass
I fantasize about showing up to work and just telling people what I really think. It wouldn’t be long before I was fired. Or shot.
I left my last job as the company was being managed into bankruptcy. We had just completed a massive, over-budget Y2K project, despite the writing already being on the wall. Our IT staff was four full-time employees, a full-time consultant and a band of 2-10 people from a consulting/software group and a business analyst with a bad sense of priorities. Two of the full-time employees jumped ship in mid-project. My boss and I were given project completion bonuses to complete the Y2K project.
Our CEO was fired for incompetence; our CFO was fired for crookedness. Then my boss left, leaving me in charge of the IT staff. We had a young guy in Purchasing that was taking Microsoft certificate classes at night and we were just setting it up so he could be ½ day purchasing and ½ day IT support. After 3 weeks with an acting CEO and no IT manager except me, they finally scheduled a meeting for the CEO and me. The day came and they laid of 23 of my co-workers including the kid that was going to help the IT department. I was supposed to meet at 3pm, at 5:25pm they finally asked me to come in. I was angry the idiots had lain off many friends, and were now holding me up. I was sitting on three job offers.
I went into the office and met with the CEO, he asked me about staying on to run the department as I had prior experience and they liked my work.
My Reply: “Well, I was not decided until today, but I am handing in my resignation tomorrow. We had Joe lined up to take over the IT support duties, but you just fired him. Now I think I am going to leave, as I am supposed to meet a bunch of my friends you just laid of for drinks and to commiserate.”
His jaw dropped and he looked a little stunned.
I handed in my resignation the next day and spent the next week cleaning up loose ends and coming in late. I got a call from the Business Analyst, she wanted to let me know that they did not like my attitude and my services were no longer needed. I replied, “Are you sure you want it like that? Ok!” I was very happy to be done with the crap place and happy to have an extra week off.
The project leader of the consulting group called me back as I was friendly with him, apparently, I made the BA nervous and she was afraid I was going to do something. I laughed and told the project leader, that I was just happy to be free of the place. I just needed to drive in and pick up my stuff.
This was a good way to leave. It helped that I was the only one left at the time that knew anything about the hardware.
Jim {Oh, the place closed 7 months later, it lasted two more month than I had predicted}
I know where the production root accounts live.
Not that I would, but it’s a good fantasy.
I have left many jobs and some of them were terrible places to work. I found that once I found a new job all my dark feelings evaporated. I couldn’t even remember why I had harbored those fantasies.
DeHusband is being laid off in 35 days from a bank. A pretty good size bank with lots of money. Oh the fantasies of sitting on several billion dollars in unmarked accounts. 
That’s funny - I think just putting sacks of dead mice in our office freezer would cause quite a commotion here at my office.
Lab rule: Identify species before consumption.
The bland reality: We have separate freezers, in a different room, for food. Its funny to open up the lunch fridge and see how similar it is the the lab fridge. Tupperware, resealable plastic bags and plastic wrap are all used it both places. :eek:
For my job, I think the ideal way to quit would be to grab a bunch of bedding and shit from the other side of the store, pile it all into one big heap, throw it up on the top of the couch boxes in the very top corner of the stockroom, and just relax as I hear,
“Where the hell is Havik!? We’re busy as shit!”
Then, of course I’d clock out, and throw down my “I quit, yo.” paper on the manager’s desk.
The satisfaction of knowing that I could have quit at any time, and the lovely idea of my boss realizing she was paying me when I didn’t need it and I had the money and was not doing business with her office.
I’m strange.
I hated my last job so much. Retail at big box electronics store. (I’m in college). My boss was a horrible boss, a horrible person; I hated him. Every time he pissed me off I would add more insults to my growing “I quit” speech in my head. It got pretty long. I never said any of it, but it was nasty. Almost everyone I worked with there has quit, I did back in March. And they never gave me my PTO, bastards.
Cook and serve THIS at the going-away potluck.
Wah-HA-HA-HA!!! 