…not that I ever doubted it. He’s been a great father my whole life, but he’s just always been really uncomfortable and awkward with “feelings” and such. It never bothered me - I’m a guy (hell, a man, by now), and I get how some guys just aren’t comfortable discussing this stuff. And he was always affectionate to me as a kid, but the mushiest he ever got was, “You’re a great guy, GameHat! friendly punch on the shoulder”
So last weekend, after a long phone call (nothing emotional, just catching up on random family news) he ends the call. “Well, see ya. I love you, GameHat.”
I nearly fell out of my chair.
Not that I didn’t appreciate it. And I’ve never had trouble saying, “I love you, Dad”. So I did so again. But it was nice, though a little startling.
Maybe the old man is getting a bit soft in his old age?
The only time my father expressed any positive feeling toward me was about a year before his death, when he had fairly severe Alzheimer’s. Totally out of the blue, he said “I love you.” To this day I have no idea whether he knew what he was saying, or who he was saying it to.
I’ve noticed my own dad getting more…emotional, I guess…as he’s gotten older. He’s only 73, and 100% ‘all there’, still renovating houses and boats and cars and anything else within reach.
He didn’t start ending phone calls with ‘I love you’ until the last 5 or 6 years, either; it’s nice. I feel like I’ve watched my dad ‘grow up’ over the last 3 decades. :p:p
My dad’s in his 70’s and I’m in my 40’s, and we’ve never said those words to each other. Or at least, not since I was about 2 years old, I guess.
I know he loves me, but he has always expressed his love through giving gifts of cash. Don’t get me wrong- it’s been nice, but clearly we both have some issues with expressing emotion to each other.
Similar story about my dad…he was fine when I was growing up (I thought he was, anyway). But he never said ‘I love you’. Probably as a result, I never got in the habit of saying it to my parents.
Well he went through some stuff several years ago, and one thing he started doing was saying it. Fine…but then he was expecting me to say it back. This was on top of telling me how hard he was on me and how he wasn’t a very good dad etc.
Well, number one just because you’ve had some a ‘revelation’ of some sort, don’t expect me to be on board. I didn’t know any better. And two, don’t expect me to start doing something I’m conditioned not to do, but because you feel like it all of a sudden.
Maastricht, that might explain a LOT. I’ve always had a notion that body style/body fat percentage affected how your hormones affected YOU, as in bigger women were more estro-genic, so to speak, skinnier women not AS much. My dad’s always been skinny as a RAIL so I imagine even a little bit of estrogen surge might explain why he suddenly took up cooking, though he’s always had a garden. Or maybe why he suddenly started calling me just…to say hi! And we GAB LIKE OLD LADIES!!! **
I love it
**I fully realize and understand that a negative medical diagnoses could explain all of that, too. I prefer thinking that my dad is becoming human.
My dad’s gotten more verbal and expressive as he ages too. I’d been blaming the grandchildren (I do think people are more open with their grandkids than their kids, and after a while the behaviors rub off on interactions with the kids) but I can also believe changes in hormones and a greater awareness of your own mortality could be having an effect as well.
:: shrug :: whatever, enjoy the new dad!
I’ve always had a notion that body style/body fat percentage affected how your hormones affected YOU, as in bigger women were more estro-genic, so to speak, skinnier women not AS much. My dad’s always been skinny as a RAIL so I imagine even a little bit of estrogen surge might explain why he suddenly took up cooking, though he’s always had a garden. Or maybe why he suddenly started calling me just…to say hi! And we GAB LIKE OLD LADIES!!! **