Um, that was supposed to be Quarters. :rolleyes:
Let’s make the equestrian events more like a day at the racetrack by implementing pari-mutuel wagering.
100 meter dash steeplechase! Since it’s only 100 m, all there will be room for is the water hazard! Put it right before the finish line.
An alternative would be to combine this with diving too; so you put the water hazard at the finish line, so the athletes have to jump over the finish line and pull off some amazing twists at the same time.
…and on a sidenote; how about the Post-modern pentathlon? The disciplines could include:
- Car race through downtown Athens in rush hour
- Shopping (you get a fixed spending limit on a credit card - one hour to buy as much as you can)
- Deliberating (try to win over a panel of conservatives to liberalism, or vice versa, depending on your own politics)
- Doping (using only a set number of illegal doping substances, you must combine them into a new, undetectable substance)
- House of the Dead 3
How about golf played in a mine-field? Talk about needing concentration for those long putts!
I think it was Robin Williams who dubbed it “Norweigan drive-by.” 
Greco-Roman Javelin. Two men enter, one man(-kabob) leave.
Shot-put tennis might be fun… you’d need an industrial-strength racquet to hit the ball and no one would come to net.
Douglas Adams thought up ski-boxing. Any sport that requires three arms would make the Olympics a lot more exotic.
Ice judo.
Gymnastic boxing. Might especially be cool if you go for a knockout on the vault, or try to hit your opponent on the parallel bars or during the floor routine.
Dive-basketball.
Long Jump Joust
Each of the 2 players has his own long jump running track, but the jumpers are running towards each other. The goal is to be the jumper that gets farther to your opponent, but note that since you are jumping head on at the other guy, you either want to try to dodge him (so you don’t smack him and ruin your jump) or take a swipe on the way past to try to sabotage his own distance.
It would look like two guys drop kicking each other. If both guys collided and fell, whoever was farther from the jump line would be named winner.
A smiliar ‘joust’ could be played with pole vault.
Target shooting with Hurdles
A single event (for obvious safety reasons). The player has a rifle and is running down a 110 meter hurdle course. While jumping a hurdle, he must simultaneously shoot at a small target some rediculous distance away The winner is the player who hits the most targets in the shortest amount of time.
Hm. I like this one. I think if you held a weight far away from your body, like on an extended arm or leg, you could then pull it in mid-dive and get in way more twists and flips.
Just add “rhythmic,” “equestrian,” or “synchronized” to the beginning of everything: Synchronized weightlifting, rhythmic kayaking, equestrian fencing (I guess that’s jousting, right?), etc.
I was going to suggest “High-Dive Bicycle Racing,” but then I realized that “High-Dive Everything” has already been done
When we were kids, my sister and I used to come up with events that would be a lot funnier if the participants were in wheelchairs (like wheelchair basketball, except way more impractical). Wheelchair highdive! Wheelchair fencing! Horribly insensitive kids we were.
Tandem 4 man Biathasled
construct a double-wide bobsled track and give each bobsled team paintball markers (or rifles if you’re feeling truly evil), the sledders race to the bottom of the track, while shooting at the opposing team…
you’ll have the driver, 2 gunners and a brakeman, strategy plays a part as well, do you try to take out the opponents gunners, rendering them defenseless, do you take out the driver, guaranteeing a crash, or take out the brakeman, eliminating their ability to brake
it would go over very well in California 
Ice Fencing - give the ice dancers fencing foils
Sailboarding - attach a windsurfer sail to a snowboard, more advanced models would have a pivot for the sail allowing the boarder to move the sail into a horizontal position, allowing a short duration glide
Skigliding - similar to sailboarding, except on skis and takes place on the ski jump, once launched off the jump, the skier moves the sail into a horizontal positionand tries to maximize glide time
Ice Floor Gymnastics. Without skates. People falling down + hard nipples = quality viewing.
And speaking of cbawlmer’s wheelchair sports, I was kind of forced to be at the Special Olympics at Keesler AFB. I came up with a couple of new wheelchair events:
Wheelchair Drag Race: Simply stick a fire extinguisher under the chair, and let 'er rip!
Wheelchair Halfpipe: Self-explanatory, really.
Wheelchair luge. Just take the tires off the rims and you’re good to go.
Once while out in the woods, I saw a couple tandem cross-country skiing. Two folks on one set of long skis, doing the kick-and-glide thing. One of the strangest things I’ve ever seen in the woods.
I also nominate:
White water canoeing + 800m swim relay = much more interesting than the back and forth in the pool stuff.
100m archery sprint. They have to outrun the arrows fired at them.
Actually, Javelin where you throw for accuracy rather than distance would be pretty cool.
Brian
Tag-team judo.
It may not mean much overseas but The Dream with Roy and H.G. has restored common sense to sports coverage. At the last 2 Olympics it has proved a highlight particularly with overseas athletes who seem to appreciate the “take the piss” irreverence as a change from deadly serious reportage. Tonight they discussed the fact that since equestrian events required the participation of a live trained animal, they are merely circus acts so why not include more - elephant riding, elephant tricks and seal or dolphin tricks. The dolphins would kill the freestyle events but butterfly may be difficult.
This thread is cracking me up! You bastards are waking up my neighbor, knock it off already!
I nominate the original Marathon - you have to wear a bronze breastplate, helm, and greaves, studded leather skirt, carry a spear and shield, and dodge enemy javelins.
Another possibility is volleysabre - the captain of each team can score points by puncturing the ball. Whenever the score is tied, or to get matchpoint, the captains must duel.
The final culmination of the sychronised events surely has to be the Synchronised Marathon.
And shooting where they go for distance
How about a drinking triathlon? Flip cups, followed by quarters, followed by beer pong (Beruit style, none of that bouncing stuff).
ataraxy22, didn’t you see Pirates of the Caribbean? Yacht fencing has already been done.
Serious one. Mounted archery. I’d watch that.
or…flip cups, quarters, then biking around a racetrack
CycleJousting
Speed Sparring - karate match on a speed skating rink, contenders wear speed skates on their feet and hands
Olympic Paintball (speedball)