When a child’s last name is hypenated to include the surnames of both the father and mother, is it standard for one to come before the other? Or is it a matter of preference?
Have you done it, if so in what order did you place the names?
I ask because in the process of divorce, my wife wants to add her maiden name to mine as my son’s last name. I understand where she’s coming from, but personally I think it’s just a pain. Still, I don’t suppose I can reasonably argue against it.
I’ve always been curious about this myself.
We did mother’s last name-father’s last name because it flowed better. If mine was first, it would be more of a mouthful.
Another qustion is: What happens when he gets married? What if he gets married to someone who also has a hyphenated last name? Will my grandchild have 4 hypenated last names? Silly example, I know, but it gets me thinking.
I have two friends who both dropped their mother’s last name as soon as they were old enough to because they thought it was silly. Others might decide to do something very different. Once you’re an adult marrying people and procreating you can do whatever you want. I’m sure virtually nobody gives kids 4 last names.
Legally, he could do anything he and his spouse decide to do about the last name-quad hyphenate, mix and match, pick two out of a hat, or even create a brand new last name that has nothing to do with previous ones.
People usually pick whatever order sounds better to them. It’s 50/50 for the hyphenates I know personally.
Upon marriage, the kid can do whatever he and his spouse want. I’ve never known a four-way hyphenate, but if that’s what they wanted to do, they could, theoretically (gonna be a bitch to fit on most forms, though). The hyphenates I’ve known to marry picked one person’s hyphenate to go with, kept their own hyphenated last names, or even picked an entirely new name to begin their family with.
And, of course, an infant can be given the mother’s last name, the father’s last name, or an entirely new last name. (At least in the US.) Again, according to what the parents want.
So your grandchildren will only have 4 last names if that’s what your son wants them to have, regardless of what name he has.
I had considered seeing if she’d be happy adding her name as a second middle name. I think that would simplify things a little bit anyway.
One of my husband’s cousins solved this in a unique way. They had two children; one has his last name and one has hers.
I am a fan of not having a hyphenated name at all. Either new last name or pick one.
Is the kiddo in school yet? Your idea would vastly simplify things if he is. I know it doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal to get his paperwork changed to a new last name, but you’re almost guaranteed Something Important will get lost.
And…has anyone asked the boy what he wants? (Assuming he’s old enough to have an opinion, of course.) I would have been quite unsettled if, in addition to the living arrangements changing, suddenly I had a new name, too. An additional middle name wouldn’t be so bad, but a new last name would have bothered me. (I was 6 when my parents divorced, so I knew very well what my last name was. At that age, last names aren’t something mutable, they’re Who You Are, like a mandate from heaven.)
He’s not in school yet; at this point the concept of having a name at all is still novel. So not much paperwork would be involved. But good point about later, if he should decide to change. One more piece of paper he’ll have to have to do anything legally, get a driver’s license etc.
Is she going to want to change her kid’s name again if she re-marries? Poor kid. If I were him, I’d probably just change it to something completely different when I was old enough.
One couple I knew put the mother’s name second so that it would be easier to work out school records and alphabetization and so on.
My kids all have hyphenated last names, mylastname-dad’slastname. I’m not attached to them using their entire name, and have always told them they can use it in any way they can choose, and can change it legally if they like. (It’s not too hard; we had to legally change my oldest one’s name.)
My oldest son usually uses his dad’s last name; his younger brother usually uses mine. Both are adults. The two youngest (grade school) still use the hyphenated name.
It’s fairly common hereabouts, it seems.
Least Original User Name Ever’s parents gave him a hyphenated last name with his mom’s last name first and then his dad’s. I kept my own last name when we got married. Friends were joking that LOUNE should add a third last name, but he said the line is firmly drawn at two. We’ve already agreed that we don’t want to give our kids a hyphenated last name and that we’d use either my last name or his dad’s last name. It’s interesting to see what other people do for these situations. I’d been wondering about it since we got married a couple of months ago.
Go semi-Icelandic and name the boys LOUNEsson and Tracyfishisdottir or something.
Well it looks like adding hers as a second middle name is a no-go. It was worth a shot.
Hyphenated last name for the boy it shall be, her name first, then mine.
Not standard that I know of. Mine came first, then husband’s because it sounded better.
The Spanish language tradition gives everybody two “last names”–without hyphens. The first one is the father’s (first) last name & the second is the mother’s (first) last name. Women don’t change their name when they marry.
That is, the child of Miguel Gomez Gutierrez & Juana Resendez Ruiz would be Roberto Gomez Resendez. Sometimes a shorter version is used: Roberto Gomez.
Of course, many people of Hispanic heritage have adopted other systems.
I see the former Mrs Ate has chosen her personal method of nomenclature. How original!
That’s one reason that I was wondering if there was a standard way to do it. I felt that other languages/cultures certainly had a traditional way of doing things, so there must be some guideline I could follow.
I’m pretty far beyond having the energy to argue about it, but I wonder if my name should be first. Probably just nit-picky quibbling at this point.