Sweet. That’s the same technique I’m gonna use next time I get caught in Critical Mass.
Reminds me of the time I gave a little shit a bloody nose. Perhaps more accurately, I helped him give himself a bloody nose.
My wife and I were at the grocery store, and two boys – 10 - 14 years old, thereabouts – were racing shopping carts up and down the aisles. I swear, people were flinging themselves out of the way, the store wasn’t doing squat to stop it, and they were zooming around like it was some sort of NASCAR event.
They come zooming around the corner into the final stretch, which was the aisle my wife and I happened to be in. One of them saw my Glare of Doom™ and stopped; the other apparently figured we’d get out of the way and poured on the gas. I know he saw me because I caught his eye and he hesitated for a split second before lowering his head and speeding up.
So I stepped around my wife, right into his path, braced myself, and caught the front of the cart as he reached us. Brought it to a complete dead stop. Little Mr. Andretti, on the other hand, didn’t stop quite so fast and plowed into the handles before bouncing back and landing on his butt in the aisle. His face smacked right into the cart and that’s where he got the bloody nose.
He wore the most shocked expression I’ve ever seen. Something like “I can’t believe he just did that!”, magnified. His buddy fled the scene as the little shit sat there sniffling. My wife and I continued our shopping without a word.
I suppose I should feel guilty for giving him a bloody nose, but then and now, the only thing going through my mind is, “That’ll learn him.”
I really have to wonder about these rude little kids. If my brothers or sisters and I had done that (the escalator, the shopping carts, being rude at all to anyone) my mom would have torn us a new asshole.
May I offer a slightly different version of kid’s behaviour?
I took my two nephews (aged 8 + 10) to the cinema in London. It was raining and we got there very early for the afternoon performance.
there was absolutely nobody else in the place (over 200 seats, with many aisles).
They sat quietly for a moment, then said “Please can we run up and down as long as we stop instantly somebody else comes in?”
I loved it! 
And they did exactly that - loads of letting off energy, then immediately returning quietly to their seat when others arrived.
Hey Cyberhwk,
Could you please wish that I get laid by Carmen Electra?
I don’t feel guilty about the kids I have rebounded. Until last year, I wore glasses. I had a heavy perscription, so I had fairly little peripheral vision. I could not see much at all without them. I have had kids romp into the adult swim lanes at pool, and had rammed them or swiped them before I saw them. Unattended children running through stores have had spontaneous physics lessons from banking off my purse, hips, and hinder (this one puzzles me, did they think I could see them running behind me?). I have also accidently flattened a few that come around corners at high speed. At work, doing physical therapy, if they they get in my way when I am helping a disabled patient practice walking, I WILL hip-check them, yelling at them before, during and after. I am apparently a hazard to navigation. I will consider thinking about getting out the way in the future, it seems that is the way things are done.
Certainly not. You’re all tuckered out from beating up on that poor kid.
You’re not a boy, are you, Pete?
Ginger, I don’t know what my mom would have done with us in these situations, because it would have never occurred to us to get so out of control like this in public (you only need a few “arm yanks of death” as a youngster before you get the idea). Different times, I guess.
When I was a kid if you got lary with an adult you’d get thumped around the ear very hard even if the adult was a complete stranger AND there would be approving looks from other adults in the vicinity,if you did actually tell your parents what had happened (you virtually never did )you’d get a thump off of your dad.
As a result kids virtually never were disrespectful deliberately to grown ups and if they did so through being thoughtless once, it was very,very unusual for them to be thoughtless twice.
Far from being less then proud of yourself for your actions I admire your actions in this day of P.C. moral cowards .
Dont feel bad ,feel proud and dont let the nasty little bastards walk all over you .
I was driving to work one morning, and I had to drive through my neighborhood to get to the highway. There were a bunch of kids (middle schoolers, old enough to know better) waiting for the bus and they were jumping out in the road as cars drove by, probably their idea of playing Chicken.
As one boy did it, I narrowed my eyes and swerved my car a bit closer to the curb. I wasn’t going that fast (in a neighborhood, remember) and I had total control, but I did get some satisfaction in seeing that kid (and the others) scramble out of the way. Hopefully I put the fear of Og into them so they wouldn’t do it again, when some drunk driver or little old lady with slower reflexes was driving by.
Sometimes fear is the best way to teach a kid something.
Heh - we drive manual transmission cars, so when we’re driving by teenagers doing something stupid on the road (walking against the light, ambling across the road not in a crosswalk, etc.), we just drop down a gear and make the car roar. They might pretend that they didn’t notice, but a car roaring right by you is something you ALWAYS notice.