I am 17. It's dark and raining and this creep is following me, what should I do? Need answer fast.

Great Debates
1

I am a 17 year old kid in Florida. It’s dark and raining, and this creepy guy has been tailing me and won’t leave me alone. Driving slowly next to me. He’s making me pretty scared. My girlfriend thinks I should run. I’m not hurting anyone. I just wanted to get my brother some Skittles and myself a tea. Now he’s ignoring my questions and aggressively approaching me. I don’t know what he wants, but he makes me really scared. Would I be wrong to try to defend myself?

Note by posting to this thread you agree to seriously answer the question as posed as though it was being asked by your own child, unless you have already answered, in which case you agree to limit your discussion to either yours or debating and/or critiquing others answers. You agree that anything else is thread shitting/trolling.

The purpose of this thread is to explore the position that following someone in a reasonably threatening manor does not create a self defense situation.

2

I do not agree, and your post is not a binding requirement.

By replying to this you agree that you like to have sex with sheep.

3

I would also suggest that if someone is aggressively aproaching you, posting on a messagebaord is probably the wrong course of action. Since you’ve determined it’s aggressive you have two choices:

  1. Do you feel able to defend yourself and your girlfriend?
    1a) If yes, is this easier than moving away?
  2. Absent that, move away.
  3. Call cops, not SDMB.
4

I recognize that this is hypothetical, but I remind you that accusations of trolling are not allowed in this forum.

Knock it off. You’re not required to accept the OP’s premises for discussion, but if you don’t even want to talk about them, don’t post in this thread.

5

Why the hell are you talking to the asshole? Ignore him and get the fuck home.

Is it an actual manor, or just a really nice house?

6

I did - my follow up post directly addressed the question he asked! I just found the bolded delaration to be a little rude. I literaly did exactly what he did.

7

Fair enough. I revised my note in post #4.

8

(Will play along)

Head for an occupied building. This answer depends on you being in an area with occupied buildings rather than out on a dirt road between two dark and scary cornfields, but since you didn’t say I feel at liberty to make assumptions. Possibly the place you bought your skittles and tea an option, if that’s still nearby, but any open business would be good.

Failing that, it depends on where you are and what he’s doing. Your paragraph is unclear if he’s still in his car or not. If he is, keep walking, fast but not running, and avoiding dead ends or unknown territory. Try not to get too cute about ducking into alleys or whatever to avoid his car, if that might put you in a dead end. If he has gotten out of his car, feel free to start running. The goal is to get to where there are other people, if possible, preferably in a well-lit and reputable area like one of those buildings mentioned earlier.

Don’t fight the guy unless you absolutely have to. Even if you think you can win.

9

Florida has a ‘stand your ground’ law, so do just that and you will be within your rights to defend yourself.

10

Thank you. If the bold part of the OP crosses a line, please remove it.

Apparently the OP wasn’t clear and that’s solely my fault. The girlfriend in the scenario was on the phone.

I agree retreat is a preferable option. However it isn’t a magic option if someone is pursuing.

You know what. If that kind of thing makes you happy, thanks alot for the spelling correction. (enjoy! :))

11

Thank you, I think that’s a well reasoned answer, despite my ambiguity.

12

What do you believe that you are defending yourself against? What do you mean by “aggressively approaching”.

Is the guy yelling threats? Is he approaching in a fighting stance with fists raised? I would consider those to be " aggressively approaching", and IMHO you would have every right to defend yourself is that were the case.

Is the guy just walking towards you calmly with his hands by his side? Or walking towards you while talking on his cellphone? That isn’t " aggressively approaching" you, and you have nothing to defend yourself against.

Here is what I would tell my child:

13

Yarg, enter too soon. I meant to add for begbert2

I really should of had someone proof read the OP. I meant the guy was on foot at the ignored question stage.

A child almost certainly wouldn’t have the experience to judge when to wisely attempt self defense vs retreat. Retreat almost always being the best option, despite youthful cockiness pushing the opposite route. So your post, especially the last part is very prudent.

However I have to ask, would fighting the guy who won’t stop perusing be self defense? Even if very unwise.

14

No, not legally or morally or ethically or practically.

Self defence means defending yourself. Someone following you on a public road does not constitute a threat, and does not require you to defend yourself.

Claiming that being followed is causing you physical harm is as ridiculous as claiming that someone calling you names is causing you physical harm.

Sure, there are some extremely rare circumstances where someone following you could be a prelude to an actual attack, but that doesn’t justify a claim of self defence. There are just as many times when being asked for a quarter is a prelude to an attack. Do you think that means that everyone should respond to bums by punching them in the jaw and then bashing their head against the pavement? There have been plenty of home invasions initiated by someone knocking on the door and asking to use a phone. Do you think that justifies me shooting anyone who knocks on my door and asks to use the phone?

The fact is that a sidewalk is public property, anyone has a right to walk there and anyone had a right to talk to anyone who walks there. If you are disturbed by people walking on public sidewalks and talking to you at night, you have to make the choice to stay inside at night, or drive everywhere. You being disturbed doesn’t constitute an attack and it doesn’t constitute “self defence”.

People get frightened because they were being followed all the time. 99% of the time it was needless. Do you think it would be acceptable or desirable for everyone who was frightened because a big Black man was following them at night to turn around and attack him on the grounds that they were defeinding themselves?

15

Please define “aggressively approaching me”. And since you didn’t answer HIS question (as in “What are you doing here?”) then I guess you’re ignoring his questions as well.

16

Dial 911, describe the guy to the police, and keep heading home.

17

In a middle-class neighborhood during the early evening? Of course it’s an option. Run to a house with the lights on and scream “help, somebody call the police, some guy is chasing me!”

Failing that, hang up on me and call 911.

Or, failing that, stay on the line and I’ll have my wife call 911 on her phone.

18

You have a freakin’ phone?

Why the fuck are you talking to your girlfriend. Tell her where you are and ask her to call 911. Then immediately hang up and you call 911. Talk loudly and make sure the guy knows that you are calling 911.

This is the very, very least that you can do in this scenario. Any initiation of violence on your part before you call the police is utterly and totally unjustifiable. You haven’t even tried the most obvious non-violent attempt to prevent confrontation.

You are clearly not defending yourself, you are looking for a fight. Whatever you get, you deserve. If you get out of this alive, I am going to disown you. No son of mine is going to attack people on the street for no reason at all.

The fact that you have a phone and are in contact with friends and have made no attempt whatsoever to call the police takes this to a whole new level. There is no longer any doubt in my mind on this issue. You are not defending yourself. You are looking for an excuse to assault someone.

19

Or run into the street shouting “Help Fire! Fire”.

Or kick the fender of a parked car so hard that the alarm is triggered.

Or cross to the other side of the street while yelling loudly to the guy that he is scaring you.

There are infinite options available here that must be exercised before you have any possible right to initiate an attack on someone who has committed no crime and hasn’t so much as touched you.

It’s astonishing that someone who apparently believes that being punched in the head doesn’t justify self defence, believes that merely being followed is sufficient grounds for attacking a complete stranger.

20

Assuming you are heading home or to the place where you are staying, call them and ask them to come out to meet you. That is faster than 911. If no one is there, call 911, and yell that you’ve done so.