I am a Terrible Parent

I just want to take my sweet, wonderful children and tie them up and lock them in their closets.

We’ve got our second snow day in a row and with the weekend, it’s four days off all together. My kids are bored silly and doing everything they can to annoy me.

My son will bother my daughter by picking her up and carrying her into another room and putting her down in there. My daughter is not a baby, she’s eight years old and not amused by this. The only thing that he wants to do is eat. He got angry today because my daughter’s apple was bigger then his. I’m sorry, I didn’t think to measure the apples. I guess I should have. He also like to have conversations with me while I’m on the phone.

My daughter is spending her time by walking around the house making fart noises and asking endless stupid questions. “Why do we have hair on our heads ?” “Why doesn’t the dog talk ?” “Why do you cook dinner ?” She knows that these are stupid and she knows the answers, but she’s bored.

They have also been running around the house, jumping on the beds, shouting whenever possible and bickering over the world’s dumbest things, like who the dog loves more and who has the most milk in their glass.

Heaven forbid that they read a book, play a board game together, do a word game or even watch cartoons.

Please, please, please let there be school tomorrow !

As I type this my kids are singing “Poopy poopy poopy poop” to the tune of * Peter Cottontail*

Your daughter is Surreal??!?!

(FWIW, I really like Surreal’s questions. They’ve spawned some excellent discussions.)

Here’s my mom’s secret - a gift for you. When we were kids and were bored, we’d be handed a dust cloth. Nothing like the threat of chores to put us in the self-amuse mode.

Good luck.

And you’re not a terrible parent. You’re just outnumbered!

Tell 'em to go play outside, and suggest they play ‘ski patrol’.

“Okay, now you get caught in an avalanche…”

2 cups of flour
1 cup salt
1/2-1 cups of warm water slowly kneaded in

make into ashtray, dinosaur, whatevertheheckyouwant

put in stove and bake at 250 for a couple of hours
paint
glue on googly eyes, yearn and buttons

amaze and praise the glorious works of art.

You sound like a normal parent to me. You’d have to be some kind of saint not to get frustrated and angry with that behavior.

All the more reason to live in the South, though. I can only remember one time when we had two snow days in a row while I was in school.

Mith I’m very scared of what they might do with play-doh.

[Marcellus Wallace]
Go medieval duct tape spider on their asses.
[/Marcellus Wallace]

How about oobleck? Loads of fun.

Recipe here.

Poopy poopy poopy poop!
Poopy poopy poopy poop!
Poopity poop we got no school to-dayyyyyyyyy…

Tell yer little darlings there I got that damn song stuck in my head now.

Oh, thanks a whole hell of a lot, Olent.
JuanitaTech, now, much to her chagrin, humming the Poopy song…

Between us, Mrs. Sauron and I have five children.

On occasion, I have been known to say to her, “You know, they all have life insurance. We could be rich.”

let kids be kids. let them create and have fun.

my mom is a playschool teacher. she lets 3-4 yr olds make dinasours with this stuff.

Don’t thank me, thank dragongirl’s kids. It’s their fault.

Oh, and dragongirl? If the kids get in an argument about whom the dog loves more, jump in and tell them the dog thinks they both suck.

I make my children clean when they’re bored. There’s nothing like the threat of cleaning to make the children scarce. In fact, just the thought of it often makes them hide for hours on end.

When the fighting gets to be too much, sometimes I make them write up lists of things they like about each other. Or I tell them that everytime they argue, they’re going to have to kiss and make-up.

What about snow ice cream?

Snow + sugar + cinnamon + food coloring (if you like) + whatever else you can think of to put in. Although come to think of it the sugar part might be kinda bad…

My mom would make my brother and me sit on the couch and hold hands for 5 minutes when we fought (and he always, always started it. Never me. Uh uh. No way. Not me.). Never knew 5 lousy minutes could feel like such an eternity!

I’m confused. If you’re having a snow day, I’d assume that’s because it snowed/there is snow on the ground. Tell them to put on their coats and go the hell outside.

Problem solved.

But they better not be throwing snowballs at MY car.

Anyone else’s is fair game, but not mine.

Don’t think about the song … Don’t think about the song … Don’t think about the song …

My Mom was evil. Whenever I got into a fight with my sister she would have us stand in a corner hugging until she decided we were ready to stop. Then we had say we loved each other. Of course we were also the stupid kids who would take a nap every time Mom said “Go take a nap, I’m sleepy.” Ohhh my Mom had it easy, not all kids are as dumb as we were.