I am afraid I might be seriously ill

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

And since right now I don’t want to lay anything too heavy on my husband or anyone else IRL, since I don’t know anything for sure yet, I thought I’d post here. I don’t post much, but I’ve been a member for a long time and read others’ posts almost every day, so I feel like we are all part of a big, albeit somewhat dysfunctional :stuck_out_tongue: family.

I am hoping just getting this out might help me feel just a little bit better. I am exhausted from worrying about it.

There’s a possibility I have bladder cancer.

I don’t know yet because the tests I need to determine this haven’t been performed yet - partially because everyone still seems to believe my problem is a particularly difficult urinary tract infection (one test, a CT scan, got postponed because the urine culture done at the urologist came back positive for blood and bacteria and they wanted to see if another course of antibiotics (my third) would clear that first) and partially because the test I need most of all, a cystoscopy, is scheduled for JUNE. According to the scheduler, that was the first slot available. I am working now on getting that moved up. I hope I can do that, either by taking a cancellation or finding someone else to do it. Two more months is too long to wait to find out if you have a life-threatening disease.

This all started last month when I got plugged up - when my bladder gets too full I can’t “go.” I ended up in the emergency room over that. I was already on antibiotics by then and it didn’t help. I’m still about the same as I was back then - I’ve just learned to go more often to prevent getting plugged up. Sometimes I just feel like I have to go a lot. And in two of the three urine tests I’ve had so far, there was blood in them - not enough to see with the naked eye, but enough to be seen microsopically.

If you look up bladder cancer in the 'Net - it comes up mostly as an older white man’s disease. I am female and 49. Women don’t get it as often, but it obviously doesn’t make me exempt. Smoking is a risk factor - while I’ve never smoked, my parents did. My mom quit when I was about 6 or 7, but my dad still smokes to this day (he’s 82). So I grew up in a smoky house. Some sources say certain chemicals in hair dye are a bladder carcinogen too - and I’ve dyed my hair for years.

Needless to say, I’m scared shitless and this limbo while I wait is torture. Cancer means chemo and an extensive surgery - with women they generally take all the reproductive organs and the bladder. Women are also usually diagnosed later because UTI has the same symptoms and is much more common. Back in September 2010 I had a UTI with visible blood - antibiotics cleared that up, or so it seemed, but now I wonder … is that where this all really started?

Please think good thoughts for me - firstly that I can get the tests done soon and that if they find something that it isn’t cancer. I feel right now like it’s me against the whole world … thanks for reading.

2

First, tell your husband.

Second, continue focusing your efforts on getting the cystoscopy moved up as soon as possible.

Best wishes!

3

I know how you feel not wanting to tell somebody because they will worry, and you’re actually a little scared to bring it up with them. You should tell him today, and not put this off. Later you will also have the guilt of not telling him sooner working against you telling him.

4

How would it make you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband did not tell you?

While it is healthy to be realistic, it is a fine line between that and letting your imagination get the better of you. Chronic bladder infections are not uncommon, and they are no where near as rare as bladder cancer, particularly for a middle-aged female.

Are you in the U.S.?

Wishing you the best,
mmm

5

Well firstly, having had a friend recently have bladder problems I know that you are lacking the most common symptoms of bladder cancer - gross hematuria (clearly visible blood) and urgency, frequency and constancy of need to urinate.

Secondly, tell your partner how you feel. Fuck knows why our natural tendency is to avoid communication with others when it is just what we need.

Thirdly, keep pushing to get tested earlier but:

Fourthly bladder cancer is very survivable compared to some other cancers.

6

It’s far, *far *more likely that you have an antibiotic resistant UTI than you have bladder cancer. But I can totally understand why you’re worried and scared.

I agree that you should tell your husband. Wouldn’t you want him to tell you if he was worried and scared about something? Whether or not you have cancer, you’re worried and scared now, and you need his support now for that worry and fear. Maybe you’ll need his support later for a cancer diagnosis or maybe you won’t, but you still need him now.

Hugs and healing vibes headed your way.

7

Wow that sounds scary! Wishing you all the best.

8

Mean Mr. Mustard - yeah, I am in the U.S. Access to care is still hard to get. Being famous or wealthy would help, I’m sure, but I am not. There are two major university medical centers where I live, and access is difficult at both.

WhyNot, thanks for the support. I’ve always enjoyed your posts and I missed them when you were on hiatus. I am glad you are back.

9

My wife and a relative had cancer. Both have survived. Just to tell you there is hope.

I hope you the best.

10

Again a vote to tell your hubby. A burden shared is a burden lightened. Finding out when you were about to undergo tests would suck.

Way more likely that you have resistant uti, and while that is certainly way better than cancer, it is a really annoying thing. Make sure you get full courses of whatever you get prescribed and take every dose, and as close to the schedule as you possibly can.

Bladder cancer is strongly survivable.

Tris

11

Hoping all the best for you! My mom had her bladder out, not for cancer though, and she lives a full, productive life without it. She goes swimming and no one can tell there is a flat bag under her suit (obviously she chooses swimsuits with an eye to camouflaging the stomach area.)

12

A couple years ago my husband was pissing actual blood, along with clots, and having great difficulty emptying his bladder.

It was “just” a very stubborn urinary tract infection (yes, men get them, too) which turned out to be fungal and not antibacterial (all the antibiotics that had been tried had apparently killed off the bacteria, leaving virgin territory for fungi). It had resulted in chronic irritation to the bladder wall, which was thickened in response, which was part of what was making it so hard to pee.

There was a change of medication and some frequent visits to a urologist. It cleared up. No cancer.

So, really, it is most likely you have a resistant infection, not cancer. Even actual blood in the urine doesn’t always mean cancer. Obviously, you still need to be checked for cancer but really, it is likely to be something else. You can have extremely alarming symptoms and it still be “just” an infection.

And tell your husband you’re having problems.

13

For what it’s worth, I know someone with bladder cancer and he’s still got his bladder and it’s the least of his health worries! It seems to be one of the “better” cancers to get, heh. But still terrifying I’m sure. Another vote for tell your husband, and best wishes to you.

14

He knows what’s going on (after all, he was the one who took me to ER when I first got plugged up) but I haven’t shared the full extent of my worries with him yet at this point. I tend to be a world-class worrier (if worrying was an Olympic event, I’d be the gold medalist, hands down), and really don’t want to drag him down with me with only the info I have at hand right now. But yes, I hear what y’all are saying. I’m going to work hard this week to get my tests moved up and we’ll talk then.

15

I agree that an infection is much more likely than cancer, but I’m paranoid and I’d be scared too.

You say the culture came back positive for bacteria… do you know what kind? Did they run antibiotic susceptibility testing on the bugs to know what to use to kill them? Because if they didn’t do that, then it’s not uncommon to have to put you through several rounds of antibiotics before they get it right. So, antibiotics not helping may just mean resistant bugs hanging out in your bladder and may not mean you’ve got a scarier problem like cancer.

16

Gosh, this sounds scary.
I agree that you should let your husband know of your fears. You shouldn’t be alone with your fears.
And, though I am not a doctor (nor do I ply one on the Internet) I think you should wit until your results come back before jumping to the conclusion that you have cancer.

Good luck and best wishes.

17

I had a cancerous lesion removed from my bladder the day after my birthday last year. I’m 43, and only vaguely humorous part of the whole procedure was the number of medical professionals who started a conversation with the words “Wow, you’re young!”

The surgery was nothing like you described above. Admittedly my lesion was small, but I had surgery as a day patient and was home in time for tea. The chemo was put into my bladder and so there were no side effects. I spent the month between acknowledging the diagnosis and surgery thinking about nothing else, but now, just 4 months later, I don’t think about it most days, only in the week before my checkup.

As everyone else has said, it’s most likely an infection. Even if it isn’t, things will be ok. The word ‘cancer’ has so many connotations, but the medical world has moved on so much since I my grandfather had lung cancer. The things they can do are amazing.

Good luck and best wishes with everything.

18

Your symptoms don’t sound at all like any form of bladder cancer. And even if you did have bladder cancer, it is one of the easiest to resolve. They might just take care of it during the cystoscopy . Again, that’s not what you probably have.

19

I know from experience that waiting for health tests and then the health tests results is the hardest part of this whole thing. Hang in there. And definitely tell your husband.

20

Waiting is the worst! Especially when you feel like there’s nothing you can do.

A relative of mine had bladder cancer, and your symptoms are nothing like his (and he didn’t tell me most of the really TMI stuff). But I’m sure you’re still worried!

Do tell your husband. I know you don’t want to worry him, but no one is themselves when they’re that stressed. He likely knows something is on your mind.