I am an idiot.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok, ok, so it’'s not news to most of you. :wink:

I wear glasses. They are for seeing far away, so I mostly use them to drive and watch TV. When I come in to my office, I set them on the desk next to my purse.

Yesterday, I put them on on my way out the door to go to lunch. It was sprinkling, so when I got to my co-worker’s van I took them off to clean them.

Imagine my surprise when I found one of the lenses missing! I looked all around my seat in the van. I had felt a little dizzy and odd coming down the stairs. Hmm. The frames were a bit loose, maybe it fell out as I was walking downstairs? Surely I would have noticed that? Hmm.

I could not find them anywhere. Backtracked my steps twice! So I resigned myself to getting new glasses. I haven’t been in three years anyway.

So I got home last night, and hubby says, “Look what I found!” (I had told him earlier in the day.) Seems I lost it in the kitchen before I left for work! I had stopped for coffee. Didn’t notice. Drove 45 minutes to work. Didn’t notice. Set them on my desk. Didn’t notice. Put them on again. Didn’t notice.

The only reason I noticed is because it was sprinkling rain and I had to clean them!

Therefore, I am an idiot.

2

At least your vision isn’t that bad. If I lost a lense, I would be able to tell because I would be walking into things.

3

Yeah, that’s something at least. One eye is worse than the other. It still had a lens over it!

4

A few weeks ago I managed to spend an evening with half a contact in, and go to sleep that way, and not notice 'til the next morning. When I pulled half a contact lens out of the case…

…and then the other half off of my eye…

5

Get off my wall!!

6

Didn’t mean to step on your toes! Do you think this town is big enough for two idiots? :smiley:

7

Sorry to disappoint ya kid …

Short but meaningful definition of an idiot: Individual who is incapable of learning from there own mistakes. Or the mistakes of others. In fact … they’re incapable of learning, period. Why? Because they’re idiots!!!

From the evidence currently available, you just don’t meet the qualifications … It can therefore be assumed that what you experience was nothing more than an average brain fart …
It’s okay, though – We’ve all done it …

My most recent:

We live about 10 miles outside of town - yesterday morning I went in to pickup Mrs. LucyInDisguise’s meds from the pharmacy. (My wife just had major back surgery 2 month’s ago and really needs the pain meds! It really was the only thing I had to get …)

Got sidetracked just inside the door by mundane silly display of Valentine’s Day stuff. Mama loves stuffed animals and I saw the perfect gift for her on the table (really cute stuffed froggy in the basket)

Let’s seen now …

why was I here ???

Hmmm …

:Wanders around store trying to remember what he came here for:

Milk. No…
Bread. No …
Hey, great price on Ben Hur DVD! (DVD in basket)
Dog food. No … well maybe … (Dog food in basket)
Good special on the cheese (Cheese in basket)
Ohhh … fresh donuts (Donuts in basket)
Tortilla chips.
Tortilla chips really needs Salsa!
If I’m doing Mexican, I might as well get some taco stuff for dinner …

:Continues wandering around store trying to remember what he came here for:

Check Stand – (I just know I’ve forgotten somethin’ … :looks around confused: ) $128.00

Puts groceries in car. (I just know I’ve forgotten somethin’ …)

10 Miles – pulls up in driveway.

Carries groceries into house (finds clever hiding place for stuffed reindeer)

Checks in with Mama … “where are my meds?”

:wacks forehead with hand: :smack: :smack: :smack:

10 miles – back to town.

Walks back into store.

WOW! – Garfield DVD only $11.99 !!! (Garfield DVD in basket)

Now …

Why did I come back here …?

Hmmm …

8

Well, as long as we take turns falling off the wall and you don’t hog all the boots to the head I guess you can stay.

heh…wanna fool around? :smiley:

9

You know, she might need those pills to deal with more than just her back…

10

Boy … Ya wanna talk brain farts here? … could someone please tell me how the froggy holding a Valentine mutated into a reindeer? Must still have Christmas on the brain.

(btw: that was supposed to be experienced …) :smack:

… There’s probably another typo in there somewhere, but Murphy (he’s a blood relative of mine …) wrote this law that says it’s impossible to find it 'till after I hit “submit” … :smiley:

11

:smiley:

12

Compared to me you are Einsteinian.

I noticed a while back that all my jeans were suffering failure of the same beltloop. That is, the third belt loop going to the left from the zipper. One pair of jeans at a time. I mentioned it to a friend and he speculated that I yanked my pants up by that belt loop when they sagged . Seemed like a rational way to explain a previously unexplained phenomenon.

Fast forward six months. I go out and buy a bunch of new jeans. One by one these jeans show the same belt loop failure, noticed from time to time on laundry day. I become pissed at Mr Levi Strauss for what I feel is a downward trend in quality of his merchandise.

Then one day last week I am getting into my Jeep Wrangler while wearing new jeans with all belt loops intact. I feel/hear a distinct pop as the door latch catches the 3rd belt loop as I hop into my vehicle.

Sorry Mr Strauss for ever doubting ya. I am an idiot. Along wif Inigo of course.:wink:

13

OOOOH! Holy Synchronicity, Bat Man! I have my idiot jeans on right now, and the same belt loop has failed. In all fairness, of the 4 pair I own, 3 have lost the same loop. I feel a Pit thread coming on! Only my belt loops break cuz I yank my pants up by that belt loop…at least I did until I lost a buncha weight and got my hip bones back.

14

My most recent was just today. This morning in fact.

Now, it was bitter cold this morning in NE Ohio. They claim it was -9 overnight, but it was somewhere right around 0 F when I headed out to my car to start it, let it warm up, clean the windows and head to work.

I’m hopping in and out of my car - clean the windows for a few minutes, get back in and warm up…clean some more. Well…then I didn’t take my keys out of the ignition (half my ignition key is actually in the ignition. it happened around seven years ago. The car runs and I could, if I had to, start it with a screwdriver, so I leave it.) Well…I locked the car door behind me.

This was around 10 of 8 this morning, already later than I normally leave for work. There’s another set of keys inside my apartment. Only, I live in a controlled access building, and my building/apartment keys are on the keychain that’s in my car.

I head up to the apartment, figuring on buzzing the employee that lives in the building, but hoping that a maintenance guy would show up before I got there. No such luck. I buzzed her apartment, but got no answer. Thank og they have a temporary office manager working right now - 8-5 instead of 1-7. She showed up after I’d only been waiting in the cold entrance about five minutes. Unlocked the apartment for me, I got my other set of keys and headed back out. The car, by that time, is warm and has clear windows. But I felt like an idiot.