Sure, and there is far more to the Pacific Ocean than just water.
My theory on why the divorce rate is 50%:
100% of relationships are based on physical appearance, and 0% of people are attractive after age 40.
(100% + 0%)/2=50%
I don’t know about that. Maybe their sexual peak, but I doubt their physical attractiveness peak.
You are absolutely right–women are not alone in “having” to be gorgeous.
Me, I am an ugly woman–I look like a picture of a horse painted on a fence–but I also have a flawless sense of style. I work hard to stay trim, my hair always looks great, I wear chic clothes that are age-appropriate and flattering. And I think this puts me at least on equal footing with pretty women who dress like hobos and fishwives.
Remember, some of the great fashion and style icons of all time have been ugly women: Wallis Simpson, Diana Vreeland, Elsie de Wolfe, Sarah Jessica Parker.
Two pieces of advice for the OP:
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Don’t ever trust your own judgment of your attractiveness.
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You don’t need the world to think you’re beautiful, you just need one person to find you attractive. And trust me, there is always at least one out there.
-olives, who is a perfect 10 in the eyes of the man she married, and really only cares about his opinion anyway.
It’s a long thread, and I might have missed it, but:
Has anyone yet picked up on the fact that it’s the word “woman” that’s in all caps in the thread title? Makes me wonder if it’s being a woman, rather than being ugly, that the OP hates.
Eh, no. I think perhaps the OP doesn’t like what she perceives as a double standard but I dont get a vibe where she wishes she wasn’t a woman.
The 20’s are the decade of beauty. Period. Point blank.
No.
Unless you mean the 1920s, in which case maybe. I’m a sucker for a flapper.
Otherwise no.
That’s adorable.
Show up at a club where there is a line in your most expensive car…stop next to the line, step out, inquire with the prettiest girl in line how long the wait is. Get back in and go find a parking space.
The girls will find you.
Maybe. But only if:
A. She really is ugly enough to have been “told she was ugly during her entire adolescence”. Or
B. She can make that objective opinion.
If she doesn’t post a pic, we can’t know. It doesn’t ring true to me. It sounds more like jealousy or insecurity from “being ignored by men in favor of better looking females” . Remarks like “I really hate this superficial society and wish that Hollywood would burn down”, “I live in a very male dominated society” and so on smack of bitterness.
But hey, maybe she is and if so, I offer my sympathies. I say this as someone who has had my pics linked to by snackers and did not get a glowing review.
I admit it’s overused but as long as there are trolls we should be able to call them out.
And completely compatible with narcissistic personalities.
Fortunately, this is not difficult.
I haven’t read every post., so forgive me if I’m repeating advice.
The really hard facts are that the universe will measure you, and regard you, exactly as you choose to regard yourself. As long as you judge your worth based solely on your outer appearance, so will others.
Hey, I’m not saying it’s untrue that pretty people have some things come easier too them, in life. But people manage to get on, find love, have happy lives, even after horribly disfiguring accidents.
Judging everyone else as being ‘prettier’ than you, is the other side of feeling like the entire world is judging you on your ‘ugliness’. If you can let go of judging others, based on their outer shell, you’ll find you will stop feeling so judged by others! Of course, that requires giving up the part you’re attached to - judging others.
Also, maybe stop hanging with such judgmental men. Do you honestly respect these people? How? Do you ever challenge them? As in, “So you’ve married a super model. She is hit by a car and left terribly disfigured? Will you dump her?”
People, especially young people like to talk the talk, but with a little pushback, you’ll find it’s a lot of bravado and not much reality. Would these men expect their attractive wives to leave them if they were disfigured due to illness or accident? Would they stop loving a child who lost a limb or eye? A lot of what you’re hearing is just young people talking trash that they think is what everyone should say! You’re a smart girl - challenge them!
And I think you’re way too smart to not challenge your own poor reasoning on this front!
Well, maybe she is bitter. But maybe she has a pretty good reason for it. I don’t know and neither do you.
We all have our own pet peeves regarding “society”. Society does indeed suck sometimes. It’s only because most of us are older than the OP that we can advise her to “rise above it”. Among her peer group, looks really ARE a big deal. I remember how it was to be in my early 20s. Do you? And let’s not pretend that none of us have ever had our moments when we can’t stop thinking about the unfairness of life. Being born in an ugly body is not the worse thing that can happen to a person, but I wouldn’t volunteer for it. Would you?
A person doesn’t have to be teased about something constantly for that issue to a sensitive topic for them. Sometimes a person is their harshest critic, and no amount of telling them they are off-base will ever change their opinion about themselves. So she doesn’t have to post a picture of herself so that we’ll agree that her rant is valid. It’s valid because lookism IS a fact of life, and it’s valid because many young guys ARE often obnoxious about it. Given the realities of these things, I don’t blame someone who perceives herself as being ugly for being upset. The feelings themselves are understandable; she just needs to work on building herself up so that such obnoxiousness doesn’t sting anymore.
It may be true for men, but it is definitely not true for women.
Regarding the main topic of the thread: A lot of qualities (looks, brains, talents, sense of humor, etc) are not equally distributed among the population.
For each quality, there are people in the top 1% and people in the bottom 1%. For people at the bottom, it sucks. It’s not society’s fault, or “the media”'s fault, it just sucks.
I’m pretty sure people who are not smart and work at low-status jobs and can see all the accomplishments of extremely smart people are as jealous of them as ugly people are of the attention that extremely beautiful people get.
It’s highly unlikely that a single person is in the bottom 1% of all the important qualities in life, so instead of focusing on the quality that you are not blessed with, just concentrate on the ones that you are at or near the top of.
You seriously have a difficult time believing that someone posting on the Internet might be unattractive? I don’t see anything implausible about that at all. It’s pretty nasty to demand that someone publicly post a photo to prove that she is in fact ugly.
Even if the OP is jealous, insecure, and/or bitter, that doesn’t make her a troll.
And completely true. At least for women.
This is a dark path and not one you want to walk down.