Squirrels. Many find them annoying, a pest. I however derive my power from them. I am their god and my porch is their altar.
They bring me little sacrafices and gifts. The top of a mushroom, a bit of their nuts, an olive leaf (ok, just a twig from a walnut tree), and many other things. They try to appease me so that I will not destroy them with lightning or fire.
I see them staring at me with awe as I head out to my chariot. I hear the chanting and singing of praise. It pleases me. They must do so, or I will punish them greatly. It is just how things are.
Fear me, for I am the squirrel god. Let not the nuts of temptation cross your lips, for the world will tremble at great evil unleashed when the squirrels seek their revenge. Be afraid.
Nay heretic. Squirrel spell checkers are often infected with the arch nemisis of squirreldom, the evil, cruel hamsters of doom. Spelling around the world is caused by these enemies of ours, and the biggest deception ever is hiding the fact of their existance from the rest of the world.
Obviously a frame up job. It was the chipmunk did it. A little gray paint, and a child couldn’t tell the difference., particularly with the rodent so close up.
