beckwall – it’s one thing dealing with someone who’s doing something about his or her mental illness – it’s another (utterly exhausting) thing to deal with someone who’s full-tilt nuts and uninterested in changing.
kricket – sounds like you need to find someone who can give you some kind of info – whether it’s your mom’s doctor or whoever. Is there a social worker associated with the hospital who could either help you or point you in the right direction? It also might be worthwhile talking to a lawyer (is there any kind of legal clinic where you live who might be able to give you some low-cost advice?) just to find out what the implications of her behavior might be on you.
Hang in there, and take care of yourself.
{{{kricket}}}
[QUOTE=twickster]
beckwall – it’s one thing dealing with someone who’s doing something about his or her mental illness – it’s another (utterly exhausting) thing to deal with someone who’s full-tilt nuts and uninterested in changing.
And what I said was if the situation is that disturbing to the family members, then they should do what’s best for them, whether it’s get out or stay and become educated. Thank God nobody called me “full tilt nuts”, but I would say that I was close to that assessment about 4 years ago. Things can and do change over time.
It’s up to friends and family to make the right choice in dealing with the issues. I don’t think that labeling people with distasteful names is the least bit helpful.
As far as utterly exhausting, I knew that feeling from age 8 until 37, when my mother committed suicide. Mental illness can cause psychotic ideas, racing thoughts, paranoia, and severe depression. They don’t committ people for just being annoying or a hypochrondriac. A complete physical would be a good place to start for anyone who is exhibiting bizarre or irrational behavior.
Anyone can become a victim. Heck, some people even enjoy it, and not just necessarily those who are ill. There is a difference between co-dependence and compassion. Get help for your loved one, and get help for yourself. This is a huge stressor that can cause health problems for everyone. Best of luck.
I’m so sorry, Kricket. Hugs from the Lissar household, including the cats.
Sigh.
My Mum’s bipolar, and we think she’s starting another episode. I think she’ll have to be hospitalized. That means me, Mr. Lissar, and my Dad have to do it. twicks, brace yourself for some incoming email.
Thank you guys.
I’ve tried to stay away from calling her crazy or nuts I know she has a serious illness that is causing her to think she has all of these other illnesses.
I tend to be a pretty emotional person at times and very family oriented. She is my mother. She has never really been much of a mother in any sense of the word except she gave birth to us. Foolishly I am trying to hang on to any small bond there.
I’m pathetic in that respect.
I have had some counsiling about this and for a while things got better for everyone and I was able to see things differently. She backed off me for a while when I got married, but now she is trying to use my hubby against me when her and I argue or when he and I were talking about divorce.
My mother will not allow any of her information to be released so we have no idea how to go about anything. I’m not even sure if a social worker would help us cause they are so touchy about her rights and screw the feeling and rights of those trying to get her help.
Beckwall, I am exhausted! Sometimes I have no idea which direction to turn.
I am worried about my mother killing herself, but I don’t believe she will do it actively, more that she will just quit taking care of herself and just die. If you want to take this to e-mail or IM I would like to talk to you. I am curious as to how your mother was behaving and what lead up to her death. If it’s to rough then I understand.
Definitely talk to a social worker, preferably the one where she was committed. Family is part of what they are supposed to be involved with.
And if s/he says you can’t do something, ask them what you can do. They know the rules and procedures.
Kricket, check you e-mail. I don’t know if what I say will help, but I hate to see you suffer.
Beckwall, I got your e-mail, thank you very much for taking the time to help me and give me some insight.
My mother hasn’t contacted anyone since the day of her hearing. Good thing on one hand because I’m sure if she did it would be a fight, bad thing on the other because I have no idea what she is up to.